I wonder if you're right about this denial of the condition, kindred. I've been tiptoeing round not talking about it for almost 5 years now, but today because he's really not been good for the past couple of days I gently said that I thought we should talk to the doctor and he actually agreed, not cross or anything. We couldn't actually see her but she tested to see if he has a UTI and apparently not, but we both spoke to her on the phone and he was ok with that. He is apparently very dehydrated, which we can fix. But it was the first time I've been able to discuss consulting the doctor and the expected explosion didn't come, so maybe I've been over cautious in not talking about it. Oh well, thank you everyone for helpful suggestions, and for sharing experiences. Getting older really is no fun, is it !