What is going to happen next ?

[60'sGirl]

I have not been here for a few weeks as my husband - with Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson's was taken to our local hospital late at night 6 weeks ago with suspected pneumonia and "spasms"
Sometime this week I have a meeting with Social Services and the discharge team. There is no way that I can cope with him at home despite the things that were in place before this happened i.e rails, wet room that was installed (at our expense) 2 weeks before this happened, carpets taken up for non slip floors.
What is the best way to tell them that I can't cope with him coming home, will the hospital tell them what they have to do to take him to the toilet (it takes 2 of them to take him there or move him to have a bowel movement). etc
We have more than the money Wales need for them to pay the care bill but only enough for a year.
Thanks for any help.

 

[Jools1402]

First off - you do not have to have him back at home - and don't feel guilty about this. Tell the social worker at the meeting that you cannot cope with him any more.
Now - I'm assuming you have both POAs. As he will be self funding social services will not be very bothered where he goes. They will leave it to you to find somewhere that can meet his needs. Bear in mind though that in 12 months or so time when SS need to start funding his care they will pay the barest minimum they can. What this means is that if you place him in a really "nice" aka expensive home you may have to move him in 12 months time or keep him where he is and pay a considerable top-up payment to the home. This will need to be paid by a third party (usually family) and not come out of your husbands £50K that Wales allow him to keep. This is exactly the position I am in with my Mum at the moment. You might want to ask social services which homes in their area they will fully fund when the time comes and move him in to one of those.
Your home - if you are living in it - should not be taken into account in his financial assessment.
If you don't have POA then ask the social worker to make a mental capacity assessment. Good luck with it all.

 

[60'sGirl]

Thank you for the reply - POA has been in place for a year now. Good to hear that our home will not be taken into account in his final assessment and about asking SS which homes will fully fund.
I do ask questions at the hospital but they say it is up to SS etc which I fully understand but trying to get a bit of forward knowledge to know what to say at this meeting.

 

[Alisongs]

Please get information from as many organisations as possible.