what happens if i dont want to have lasting power.

[Isabella]

Hi Isabelle, I kind of responded to your thread in a response to saffie as well. Thank you for your advice. I expect if I leave the health and Welfare LPA and inform my mothers social worker I do not want the responsibility of her care then she may just by- pass extra care housing like sheltered accommodation and go straight to residential I believe.
What to do?

I don't know, it is difficult. But even if you don't want to be involved in care that wouldn't necessarily stop them from moving her to ECH first. My mum's SS were keen on the phased approach - try minimal support first and see how she gets on before funding higher care. It was disastrous. By the time they worked out what they were offering wasn't enough and they'd gone through their lengthy process to get it changed she would have deteriorated again so it was never good enough. I am so glad that nightmare time is over. I really do understand how you feel, but if you let the council take control, then that is what they'll do and you might not like the choices they make. I wanted to walk away many times but I knew if I didn't get involved they would continue to make the wrong decisions and put her at risk. I'm not trying to guilt you into something you don't want to do but please be prepared for the fact that it might be difficult to accept some of their decisions.

 

[smailes]

I don't wish to cause you any more worry, If the banks come to believe a person has lost capacity to manage their accounts, they can freeze joint accounts.
Hopefully this wont happen , their are several on here who are managing their caree's accounts in this way.

Oh I didn't realise that. That's worth knowing. Thank you.

 

[smailes]

DWP did a home visit. Mum and I had to answer a few questions, they filled in the forms mum and I signed what we had to and they left copies. It took about 2 months, now all of mums pension and any other benefits are paid in to my account. They did not ask for a doctors certificate just took name of surgery. The whole process was easy and the guys were very polite and understanding. I now keep monthly records of everything I spend so there hopefully will be no queries in the future.

Oh I may have to go down that route I think. The joint account so far isn't working I don't think but it is still early days I suppose. It's useful to know that they can do separate visits but to be honest I really don't know what she would say If I wasn't there as she really thinks she's doing ok financially. Oh well I'll keep going and asking for advice and taking some good advice as well.

Thank you
Roz

 

[smailes]

I don't know, it is difficult. But even if you don't want to be involved in care that wouldn't necessarily stop them from moving her to ECH first. My mum's SS were keen on the phased approach - try minimal support first and see how she gets on before funding higher care. It was disastrous. By the time they worked out what they were offering wasn't enough and they'd gone through their lengthy process to get it changed she would have deteriorated again so it was never good enough. I am so glad that nightmare time is over. I really do understand how you feel, but if you let the council take control, then that is what they'll do and you might not like the choices they make. I wanted to walk away many times but I knew if I didn't get involved they would continue to make the wrong decisions and put her at risk. I'm not trying to guilt you into somethnoing you don't want to do but please be prepared for the fact that it might be difficult to accept some of their decisions.

Thank you for your response. The relationship between my mother and me really isn't great so any advice and suggestions I have offered are falling on deaf ears. To be honest whatever social services offer will be a darn sight better than whatever I say. I'm her only child in the UK and have no-one to help other than my extremely supportive husband. I do not want the responsibility. I wish we could have had a better relationship but it's definitely not going to happen now.
Thank you again for your kind words and I really appreciate your help and support.