Hi It's been ages since I have been on here as life got crazier with mum's declining health. Mum has alzheimers and vascular dementia. In Jan this year she had a UTI which caused a huge deterioration. We increased the package of care at home. Six weeks before I was due to have a well earned rest and holiday and thinking that she was going to stay with my brother, he announced that he would not have her at his house whilst I was away. We had to quickly find a CH-which luckily we did - a really nice one and got her into respite. When I cam back from my holiday, feeling more relaxed and recharged I bought her back home. My brother wanted her to stay in but I had promised she would come home and I could not bring myself to break that promise. Although my head was telling me she would be better staying at the CH my heart was telling me not to break the promise I made. However she seemed to understand that if she was no longer safe in her own home, despite the care going in as well as myself caring for her as well; that we would have to think about her going back. She was back home for about three weeks and all was ok. She was very stubborn for some of the carers going in and refused to stand or go to bed and so forth. She developed three pressure sores as all she was doing was moving from bed to chair and back to bed. Due to her osteoarthritis and lack of movement her knees became very swollen and she could not bear her own weight. Unfortunately this week, she was found on the floor and paramedics were called out. It was this that made me decide that really for her own safety she had to be in a CH permanently. We managed to get her back in yesterday to the CH she had respite in. She became very angry at me and my brother about sending her back and this time she realised that she was not going home again. However she is adamant that she is not staying there and she will be going home. When your loved one is in a CH to be safe, we know that it is the right decision despite al the guilt that is felt. I know this is the right decision for my mum despite the fact that she does not. But what do you say when they ask you every time about going home. How do you answer them? My mum knew full well yesterday, that as she left her house she would not be going back and she looked so very sad. Today all I keep doing is crying despite the fact that the right thing has been done and she is safe.