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What are you doing to take care of yourself?

dottyd

Registered User
Jan 22, 2011
1,064
n.e.
What do i do to take care of myself?

Well..

Mums in a care home now but doesn't stop me worrying about her and wondering if I'll get 'it'!

I spend a lot of time reading and researching health matters . I do anything or take anything to avoid what my mum, aunts and grandmother are going through. ( all one branch of the family.)

I've taken up dowsing to help me work out what foods are beneficial to me. That's for non dementia related stuff. It also hasa spin off that we meet with other like minded people at various interesting sites in our area/ around the country etc.

I'm fortunate that I know a lot of people connected to alternate health methods of healing and take their advice to keep myself healthy.

I keep my weight to a reasonable level and have also shifted the focus of my eating away from wheat, dairy and sugar to protein, vegetables and small fruit portions. Sugar in particular is so addictive and destructive . I'm sure we are all getting that message. People say its in everything these days. Not if you cook from scratch like we do ..it isn't.

All of this takes great amounts of denial but I've recently remarried in my 60s and we want to have a long and healthy life together with no one being a carer until its deemed necessary.

I noticed that I have been suffering from TATT( tired all the time) . My doctor has been unable to help me apart from telling me that I have extremely healthy blood. ( I've never been a smoker and only very occasionally have an alcoholic drink).

I couldn't understand it and then I read an article on adrenal gland fatigue and I think I might have found the answer. I was even waking up tired. I found some excellent supplements( not cheap) by a company called Nutri and just two weeks later I'm to feel considerably better. I also take a drop of iodine a day to help the thyroid.

The memory lapses and brain fog( which was unbelievably scary as it felt like my brain was shutting down and it probably was) have just about gone. It also helps that I'm on a sunshine holiday and getting lots of vitamin D. However this TATT came back just days after my last sunshine holiday. Apparently it can be related to emotional trauma and stress and I've had a lot of that in my life and now it's ongoing with mum.

If I can avoid what mum and her sisters and mother went through that will be a great testament to them.

That's what keep me ticking anyway as well as enjoying life with my new husband, our dowsing, jewellery making and spending time with our family and travelling abroad and seeing friends.

I also look into taking good quality supplements. This area is very much where you get
 

dottyd

Registered User
Jan 22, 2011
1,064
n.e.
What do i do to take care of myself?

Well..

Mums in a care home now but doesn't stop me worrying about her and wondering if I'll get 'it'!

I spend a lot of time reading and researching health matters . I do anything or take anything to avoid what my mum, aunts and grandmother are going through. ( all one branch of the family.)

I've taken up dowsing to help me work out what foods are beneficial to me. That's for non dementia related stuff. It also hasa spin off that we meet with other like minded people at various interesting sites in our area/ around the country etc.

I'm fortunate that I know a lot of people connected to alternate health methods of healing and take their advice to keep myself healthy.

I keep my weight to a reasonable level and have also shifted the focus of my eating away from wheat, dairy and sugar to protein, vegetables and small fruit portions. Sugar in particular is so addictive and destructive . I'm sure we are all getting that message. People say its in everything these days. Not if you cook from scratch like we do ..it isn't.

All of this takes great amounts of denial but I've recently remarried in my 60s and we want to have a long and healthy life together with no one being a carer until its deemed necessary.

I noticed that I have been suffering from TATT( tired all the time) . My doctor has been unable to help me apart from telling me that I have extremely healthy blood. ( I've never been a smoker and only very occasionally have an alcoholic drink).

I couldn't understand it and then I read an article on adrenal gland fatigue and I think I might have found the answer. I was even waking up tired. I found some excellent supplements( not cheap) by a company called Nutri and just two weeks later I'm to feel considerably better. I also take a drop of iodine a day to help the thyroid.

The memory lapses and brain fog( which was unbelievably scary as it felt like my brain was shutting down and it probably was) have just about gone. It also helps that I'm on a sunshine holiday and getting lots of vitamin D. However this TATT came back just days after my last sunshine holiday. Apparently it can be related to emotional trauma and stress and I've had a lot of that in my life and now it's ongoing with mum.

If I can avoid what mum and her sisters and mother went through that will be a great testament to them.

That's what keep me ticking anyway as well as enjoying life with my new husband, our dowsing, jewellery making and spending time with our family and travelling abroad and seeing friends.

I also look into taking good quality supplements. This area is very much where you get What you pay for. And now our soil is so Depleted and full of pesticides we can't get out goodness totally from food any more. I mean just where can you get grass fed organic beef from I'm my area. You can't!
 

Bear44

Registered User
Sep 28, 2015
126
USA
Yep- I can totally relate! Except my sons are now both in college - so that helps a lot on the youn'ans front!! Except we were blissful empty-nesters to be interrupted by having a new child moving back in with us - she happens to be 86 years old! HA! We are business owners, too, which is probably the only reason my MIL can live with us in the first place. We are computer software developers - started 13 years ago and have always had our offices in our home. You can move anywhere with this type of business....again - that was the only reason we could move to come live close to her. I felt like it was God's timing to allow the boys to move out in the timing that she moves in. Kind of a tease, though, to give us 1 year of bliss......then WHAM!!! And I have to confess our caring for her is a "duty-care" rather than one of wonderful love. She's never been the most pleasant person to be around - even pre-dementia. (however - I'm not quite sure when her normal personality ceased and the dementia began......they both resemble each other in odd and eerie similarities.....hmmmm?? :confused:;))

She lived in an independent "elderly" apartment for 2 years before this ultimately happened. And the last year she was there, I was over there at least twice a day trying to coax her to get up, eat, bathe......finally we realized she could not do any of it on her own anymore and it was easier and cheaper to just move her in with us. I'm not sure who was kicking and screaming more - her or us?!!! HA!

You know - it's really interesting - my husband and I now have scheduled date nights twice a week just to keep us sane. We just had a date-day today- tried to go to a college football game, but the rain we are having today changed those plans and drove us back home. That's ok - she prefers to be in bed ALL day on rainy days. Saves us money on the sitter anyway.

Anyway - we were talking hypothetically - it if were either of our dad's that were living here - how we'd be so different. We both so adored our fathers. They both were awesome men - in completely different socio-economic backgrounds, but both successful in their own communities. My dad was a well educated executive who was publicly mourned when he died from brain cancer in 1987. I recall at his funeral when my sister and I were escorted into the church, people were standing on the sidewalks outside his huge church wanting to get in and they couldn't because it was full. My husband's dad on the other hand died in 1994 of lung cancer. He was a brick-layer/salt of the earth/kindest man you'd ever meet and although there were many at his funeral, it was still small and intimate. But he was just as important and successful as any one else I'd ever known. If either of these men were in that bed instead of my MIL, I'd be weeping and fawning over them day and night. And they both would have been so gracious and humble and thankful - at least until the disease changed them, perhaps. But at least I would have known their beauty was still just under their skin.

Not so with MIL. I've read so many times here that folks are even more heart broken because they had wonderful relationships with their loved ones and this awful disease changes them. I wonder why that happens? That is the ultimate in cruelty. And if that theory were universal - I'd start seeing a sweet little girl in that bed, but instead all I'm seeing is her getting worse in her attitude and demeanor. She's always been so self-center and self-focused and amazed when I or ANYONE would go out of their way to help someone or something just to do it - not to get anything in return. Being selfless has always been just so foreign to her. She has always sat in amazement when I did something for her not out of duty, but from the example that my own dad taught me. Whereas both our fathers DID give unselfishly - all the time. There are STILL people coming up to us telling us things our dads did for them. But no one will ever be coming up to us about MIL. I guess I'm just on a pity-party rant today. I have nothing to rant about - I'm blessed beyond what I ever deserve.

It's been over 20+ years we lost our dads and not a day goes by that I don't think and ache for at least one of them. I pray you have that kind of dad relationship? What about your mom?
Wow, I wish hubby worked from home, he works 12-11 6 days a week. So it's rough.

My father was never the lovey, doting dad. He was a truck driver for 40 years if that tells you anything. Lol I was his tomboy, helping around the house fixing stuff etc.

He can be very mean and hurtful, although it's taken on a whole new level now.

Isn't that the truth my mom was my best friend, unfortunately we lost her 8 years ago at the young age of 58. So I technically took her role in the family. Doing the banking, taking care of my dad, hosting all holidays, etc. As my sister is much too selfish to be bothered with family unless it will benefit her. (That's a whole other rant).
 

MILVascularDem

Registered User
Oct 14, 2015
44
Deep South in the USA
I've also put up a bird feeder recently and love watching the antics of the blue tits - had to slightly realign the feeder when a squirrel found it that first day, an amazing few minutes watching that animal's dexterity - had NEVER seen a squirrel in the garden before that!
.
Well, Shedrech - just wanted to thank you! I pulled an old bird feeder out from the garage, cleaned it up, found an old "shepherd's hook" and hung it just outside my home office window. Nothing. After about three days, I got depressed. Fine. They don't like my feeder. I shifted it around, "spilled" some seed on the ground to attract them. Nothing. Got a cute little ground squirrel who's stuffed cheeks brought smiles to our faces as he was preparing for the coming winter...but still...nothing. WHAT'S WRONG? So, FINALLY, after a little over a week, they are SLOWLY discovering the feeder!! AND my sons are buying me a newer one AND a bird bath for my birthday (next week), so I have a feeling that one will attract them more because they are getting me one like I've had before with tons of success. (it's a multi-level one with several perches/keeps the seed dry and fresh/and has a squirrel proof mechanism on it - quite the fancy-shmancy deal!!)

So, I'm excited to be rekindling my bird watching/relaxing hobby back!
Thank you!!!!
 

MILVascularDem

Registered User
Oct 14, 2015
44
Deep South in the USA
What do i do to take care of myself?

Well..



All of this takes great amounts of denial but I've recently remarried in my 60s and we want to have a long and healthy life together with no one being a carer until its deemed necessary.

...............

I also look into taking good quality supplements. This area is very much where you get What you pay for. And now our soil is so Depleted and full of pesticides we can't get out goodness totally from food any more. I mean just where can you get grass fed organic beef from I'm my area. You can't!
Dottyd-

Yes - I guess one positive to having my MIL living with us is the up-close-and-VERY-realistic reality of this disease. It has caused my husband (63) and me (about to turn 54) to really, really work harder on our own health. We were the typical westerner for many years in that we ate the S.A.D. diet like everyone else. (Standard American Diet - but it truly was a SAD diet) Lots of junk food, trans fats, processed fast foods. But we made a big change due to moving to a rural area in 2006 and started a journey of a much healthier lifestyle. We dabbled in Vegetarian and Vegan, but have settled on more of a very healthy Mediterranean lifestyle. Nothing processed(like snack cakes, crackers, cereals, junk food) Lots of fish, grass-fed beef, no pork, little chicken, lots of fresh veggies and fruits. Legumes and beans. Whole grains(no processed bread anymore), healthy fats like organic butter, olive oil, coconut oil. VERY little or no refined sugar. Some honey. Fresh water and herbal tea and black coffee for husband. He still enjoys red wine and some beer. I'm a teetotaller.

But in having MIL move in with us in July, I've bought probably 6 different types of cookbooks trying to learn an even healthier lifestyle. Because I believe that most diseases are controlled and/or prevented by diet. I bought a cookbook called the "The Alzheimer's Prevention Cookbook". It's pretty much everything I mentioned above ( Mediterranean Diet), except it eliminates butter and/or lard...hat's the only part of that cookbook I disagree with...because I personally believe the logic that the "low-fat" craze has actually made us fatter and unhealthier mostly because the low-fat choices are processed and trans-fats. And I believe that our brains and hearts need the healthy fat to operate properly.

And yes, supplementation is important,too, I think. Good quality, like you said. CoQ10 is probably the most overlooked important supplement from my experience in that it's an essential component of the mitochondria (the 'spark-plug' of every cell in our body). It creates the very energy in our body. Most of us lack in CoQ10. And E has a strong relationship with CoQ10 as well. Then of course Omega-3's, Magnesium, D3, C.....

And don't EVEN get me started on Statin drugs. That's the biggest scam since the beginning of time, in my humble opinion.(read "The Great Cholesterol Myth" by Dr. Jonny Bowden and Dr. Stephen Sinatra) But if you are on a statin drug, I promise you that your CoQ10 is even lower.

So....being a little more home-bound now, I'm in the kitchen all the time now with all these new cookbooks tweaking and learning all sorts of healthy recipes. She will pass away. And that will leave my husband and I. I'm trying all I know to do to try to dodge this ugly dementia bullet........I'll let you know in 10-20 years....I hope! AHAHAH!!
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
I'm sticking with my original post No. 12, Vodka.
Do UK keyboards have that hash tag thing on them?
K
 

Grey Lad

Registered User
Sep 12, 2014
5,736
North East Lincs
Oh Amstel beer I remember it well from our holidays in Corfu. We always talk of the time we spent in Kalami Bay. Three sepsrate fortnight's one year. Those were the days! G L
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,066
Yorkshire
Just caught up - and so glad to have re-introduced you to the birds (and squirrell) MILVascularDem.
I found one of dad's bird-spotting record books last night, and had a bit of a moment - he loved it and his book is full of such a variety of birds. Now he doesn't even go out. Though he notices the big black birds (jackdaws) in the field below his window and laughed at the magpies picking parasites from the wool on the back of the sheep. I'm wondering if he'd enjoy one of those feeders that stick to the outside of a window (he's 2 floors up). Must ask the home. So, you've paid me back with a good idea!!:D
I need to go buy more peanuts, good reason to go out today, not good weather here, a shame for the bonfires and fireworks - still going to the local display, though, it's for charity and will be literally BRILLIANT.;)
 

Raggedrobin

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,427
Hi, like some other posters, I do hand sewing. i had taken a course just before Mum got ill. Now she is in a home, I take along various projects to do while I am sitting with her. It stops me going bonkers while listening to her rambling on.

I also read a lot more than I used to. I live away from my normal home to be near Mum so don't have much social life, but reading kind of props me up.

I am also on a diet and go to what I call Fat Club once a week. I put on weight as a carer and am determined to shed it now.

I can't say I laugh a lot. Sometimes at the carehome I have a laugh with the carers, or watch something funny on the telly. But people tend to make me laugh and I am not around many people in my present situation.

My other favourite thing is just to take myself out for a cup of tea and a piece of cake. Contradicts the dieting, but my happy time.
 

MILVascularDem

Registered User
Oct 14, 2015
44
Deep South in the USA
Halloween

This is the pumpkin I carved for Halloween last weekend. (not sure it will download....?)
MIL just couldn't see it - she kept tilting her head back and forth.....finally she just smiled and said, "...it's nice hun.....":D HA!!!
 

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patsy56

Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
839
Fife Scotland
Hi. MILVasDem :)

However, I have found something that suits me. I've become a devotee of MOOCS or massive open online courses. These are short online courses, open to anyone, a
I'm looking out for something about literature, and in the meantime, I keep my kindle fired up for whenever I can read.

I wonder what others do....:)

All the best

Lindy xx
Hi MILVas, yes I too am a great MOOCS or Futurelearn person........but I have a very guilty secret.........I writ fanfiction..............opps no longer a secret
 

cerridwen

Registered User
Dec 29, 2012
99
Gloucestershire
You are all so inspirational..........as I read your posts, the enthusiasm and drive to have a life (or part of a life) that has meaning away from dementia is so strong:)
I am not doing so great and I wish I could say I was. My Dad is in a lovely care home now but I am haunted by my mums death due to cancer in 2014, my Dads revolving door episodes in and out of hospital (which brought about his permanent stay in a care home) and my dear friend who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the same type as my Mums. I find it hard to get through the day even though things are practically easier now with Dad because I am not working and taking care of him at the same time. But I feel bleak.
Perhaps I should try and do something enjoyable every day? Sorry to be so gloomy, your posts have cheered me up no end,
C xx
 

MILVascularDem

Registered User
Oct 14, 2015
44
Deep South in the USA
You are all so inspirational..........as I read your posts, the enthusiasm and drive to have a life (or part of a life) that has meaning away from dementia is so strong:)
I am not doing so great and I wish I could say I was. My Dad is in a lovely care home now but I am haunted by my mums death due to cancer in 2014, my Dads revolving door episodes in and out of hospital (which brought about his permanent stay in a care home) and my dear friend who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the same type as my Mums. I find it hard to get through the day even though things are practically easier now with Dad because I am not working and taking care of him at the same time. But I feel bleak.
Perhaps I should try and do something enjoyable every day? Sorry to be so gloomy, your posts have cheered me up no end,
C xx
Oh Cerridwen-

Don't beat your self up at all. You have so much more on your plate than I do and so much more to work through. I know how you are feeling right now and it's a season - but you will work your way through this season and come out brighter. I lost my dad to brain cancer just after Christmas in 1987. I then lost my mom to heart and lung disease three years later in 1990 just before Christmas. (it took me SEVERAL years to even want anything to do with Christmas again) I was still struggling with the grief of loosing my dad - whom I was very close to - when mom's illnesses started and she ultimately passed. I was still carrying around dad's grief and then had to carry mom's grief on top of it. For me, it was like pushing around a wheelbarrow full of compost and instead of spreading it out, more was piled on. Then four years later, when my husband and I were pregnant with our first son - which was his parents first grandchild because he's an only child - his dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. That dear man hung on to see the birth of his first grand-baby. He was so so very sick, but he was determined. Death in the midst of a new life. (And to top it off - a lady had a car accident while I was in labor and my doctor had to leave me to go take care of this emergency that was just brought into the hospital - neither she nor her baby made it and I laid there holding my brand new baby hearing this poor woman scream her last breath.......and THEN saw her husband and toddler rushing past me to find out what happened and the toddler paused and looked up at me and said - '....is that mommy?') That just about topped me off. My father-in-law passed three month later.(like my own dad - he was an incredible man!) I pushed around that wheelbarrow of compost for years. Grief is a tough, tough thing. When I lost my next parent - my step-mom - also to lung cancer - it was 12 years later. And although that wheelbarrow tried to bump me in the shins, I had had enough time to spread it out over those 12 years - so not much was dumped back in.

So, it's a season. Give yourself lots of time. And yes - if you can find anything to try to pull you out of the dementia/cancer fog for awhile, that would be nice. But know it WILL get better with time.
 

MILVascularDem

Registered User
Oct 14, 2015
44
Deep South in the USA
I hope you have fun :D

Well, Patsy56, I'm impressed!! The internet has opened up so many things that we don't even know about. MOOCS and Fanfiction being two things I just learned about!! All you guys who use MOOCS - that is just cool!! Way to keep the noodle sharp! So, are these courses with grades and such? A time limit, like the course starts and stops at certain times like a typical classroom? Or just at your own pace? And I'm going to have to look into Fanfiction, too!! My husband accuses me of writing "books" all the time - my stories!!!

Thanks for the info!
 

geniemax

Registered User
Oct 30, 2015
27
im a leather tec repair man . I repair leather sofa / carlasic car seats. This is what i do im my time. I also play snook on sunday night . Me time ..
Hi my me time I booked myself into the hairdressers once a week that's MY time and although most the time I worry at least I feel a little better for having a little pampering and time out
 

patsy56

Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
839
Fife Scotland
Well, Patsy56, I'm impressed!! The internet has opened up so many things that we don't even know about. MOOCS and Fanfiction being two things I just learned about!! All you guys who use MOOCS - that is just cool!! Way to keep the noodle sharp! So, are these courses with grades and such? A time limit, like the course starts and stops at certain times like a typical classroom? Or just at your own pace? And I'm going to have to look into Fanfiction, too!! My husband accuses me of writing "books" all the time - my stories!!!

Thanks for the info!
No worries, the MOOCS are usually a weekly course of 6-8 weeks some are as little as 3, yes some have tests and yes you can buy a certificate if you wish.
 

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