What are the signs


Registered User
Oct 3, 2006
Hi Clare. Iam so sorry to hear about your mum...I know exactly what you are going through. My mum is up and down and last week I thought her life was ending. She has picked up this week...but I hate to say this...Ive seen her do this before...and then she gets yet another infection. Iam now just taking each day at a time with her.. its all I can do. In January I lost my aunt who was my mums closest sister. The way you describe what you are going through...its exactly what happened to her. And like you I was going up the hospital some days for hours...and then when I could. I think all in all we were called back to the hospital 3 times..but she picked up for a little while (maybe for a day) then deterioriated again. This waiting for her to die is a really awful experience in my opinion...but like others have said I have heard people saying 'strange and uplifting' stories when they were waiting for a loved one to pass away. Please be strong Clare. My thoughts are with you... and I will say a prayer for you. ...remember soon your lovely mum will be at peace...with all her loved ones...and free from this awful disease. God bless....Love PP xx


Registered User
Apr 19, 2006
Hi Clare,
I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. My Mum died last Saturday and we were with her. We have gone through a similar situation with my Mum, she refused to eat or drink or take her medication. We knew the end was in sight and we were with her when she took her last breath, and it was very peaceful. It might sound strange but I count it a privilege to have been with her at the end , stroking her and talking to her with tears streaming down my face. just telling her she had been a good Mum and that we loved her. I was surprised at myself as thought I would be to scared to be there at the end. I hope the end is peaceful for your Mum, if you want to be there then thats fine, but if not thats fine also, you must do whats right for you. I am thinking about you, knowing exactly what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. Lots of Hugs, Take Care of Yourself,


Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
sort of north east ish
a little 'advice' - for what it's worth

Hi Clare,

This is such a difficult time. There's no right answers about what to do - there's too many unknowns. What I think is really really important is that in the coming days and weeks (and longer) you remember that just at this time your head WAS (understandably) all over the place and it wasn't at all clear what was best to do. Hindsight in a situation like this can be a vicious thing. If I'd known dad was going to die in the early hours of Sunday morning, I wouldn't have gone home for a couple of hours on Saturday night, and I wouldn't have taken my cousin home to go to bed. But on Saturday night .......... which was the only time we could take the decision, we had no way of knowing whether dad would die before morning, or whether it would be Monday, Tuesday, later in the week.

Do what feels best and be kind to yourself about the rest.

Thinking of you over the next few days.



Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
If I'd known my mother was going to die on the 6th May I'd have visited her on the 4th and 5th. But every time I phoned they said she was OK, nothing seriously wrong with her.



Registered User
Oct 7, 2005
sad news

My mum died yesterday afternoon. Just slipped away. Recieved a phone call telling us and i feel relieved that she doesnt have to suffer any more.

Would like to say a big thankyou to all of you out there. This forum has helped in lots of ways to help me through.

Will keep dipping in to see how everyone is doing and will post now and again.

Love clare


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
My heart goes out to you and to your's. Take care of your dear Dad, and also of yourself. Hearfelt sympathy from Nell.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland

So sorry about your Mum. But her sufferings are now over, you won't have to watch her struggling any more.

Be kind to yourself now, it will take you a while to get back to normality. Stay in touch.