Bad end to week - stormed off from mum's early today as just had enough. Sometimes find it hard to even refer to her as 'mum'. Feeling a bit badly done to today after a barrage of abuse. Not once in my life has she ever paid me a compliment – the best she managed (and I remember it clearly as a one off) was when I was 11 years and had a seaside picture put up on school wall. I brought it home and she said, “not bad, I suppose”. That's it – 64 years and nothing else. She is not a kind person, and can seem jealous of me. She used to be keen on family history and I made her a brochure a few years ago, bound and illustrated, after I had been to Australia and followed footsteps of ancestor (he was an explorer). Found it ripped to shreds today, stuffed in drawer with old newspapers – obviously destroyed pre-dementia. She's always been competitive with me, but in silly ways, such as gloating she has more Christmas cards (sub text – more popular).
Guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, especially as I found out she has no idea (truth?) what she has done with grandma's engagement ring. Grandma, a lovely kind lady who never had a bad word about anyone, and with whom I lived off and on, left it for me and mum has taunted me with it occasionally for over 20 years – putting it on for a minute or two and flashing it in front of me, saying it will be mine one day. She does not wear jewellery, does not value any possessions and it has disappeared which upsets me because I wanted to pass it on to my granddaughter. She is denying ever having it, yet I have found a note this morning with her will saying it is for me, note now crossed out.
Am waiting for LPA to be registered – just about due, but am trying to get mum in habit of letting me sort her post so as to stop all the multi direct debits and payments for tat she begrudgingly agreed I could sort out. In past month, I've found missing £3000 (in various places) and stopped action being taken for non payment of massive catalogue account she has racked up. But she's been playing games, selecting which pieces of post to give me and as fast as I stop something she sets up new direct debits - seven new ones in July (she denies it, even though it's there in black and white). Ok, I know that's because of her dementia, but the selective sorting of post is intentional and sneaky, as she gives me some but lies adamantly that she has given me it all – stares me straight in face and says “that's everything”.
I've found out this week she has complained to anyone who will listen that I'm interfering in her life, there is nothing wrong with her and she heard the nurse say so at hospital, and she's sick to death of me. The hairdresser has told her I must be mad (well, that'll be true then!). All I got today, from the minute I arrived was abuse and blame. No other family member would take on LPA, not even to be joint attorney, and my brother only visits twice a year. He is coming in a fortnight but mother has made him a jelly already (he's 63) and taken food from freezer two days ago – 6 lamb chops, 2 gammon steaks, 12 sausages. Naturally I've saved him from food poisoning and binned it. She said she'd taken it out for her tea tonight. I could not take any more abuse this morning and just walked out after being accused of not giving her £60 last week. I said perhaps she'd just mislaid it and it would turn up, (this often happens), but she just got nastier and nastier. I found a £20 note in letter rack, but of course she hadn't put it there. I topped up her £100 float today and asked her to sign (because I'm not happy with any of this), that she had received it. She appeared to be writing, but when I looked at it, nothing – she had pretended to do so! I feel I need to cover my back – I said, sarcastically, “oh, invisible ink”, and made her sign it properly.
I know once I get registration LPA, I will just go to bank and take over everything, but not sure whether I'm going to get through next couple of week or so! I am a little weepy today, for some reason. Not like me at all – maybe due to over-tiredness as I've had my 4 year old granddaughter staying for a few days. So lovely to have something to smile about when she's here – and now back to reality. But in truth, the smiley part should be the reality....
Guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, especially as I found out she has no idea (truth?) what she has done with grandma's engagement ring. Grandma, a lovely kind lady who never had a bad word about anyone, and with whom I lived off and on, left it for me and mum has taunted me with it occasionally for over 20 years – putting it on for a minute or two and flashing it in front of me, saying it will be mine one day. She does not wear jewellery, does not value any possessions and it has disappeared which upsets me because I wanted to pass it on to my granddaughter. She is denying ever having it, yet I have found a note this morning with her will saying it is for me, note now crossed out.
Am waiting for LPA to be registered – just about due, but am trying to get mum in habit of letting me sort her post so as to stop all the multi direct debits and payments for tat she begrudgingly agreed I could sort out. In past month, I've found missing £3000 (in various places) and stopped action being taken for non payment of massive catalogue account she has racked up. But she's been playing games, selecting which pieces of post to give me and as fast as I stop something she sets up new direct debits - seven new ones in July (she denies it, even though it's there in black and white). Ok, I know that's because of her dementia, but the selective sorting of post is intentional and sneaky, as she gives me some but lies adamantly that she has given me it all – stares me straight in face and says “that's everything”.
I've found out this week she has complained to anyone who will listen that I'm interfering in her life, there is nothing wrong with her and she heard the nurse say so at hospital, and she's sick to death of me. The hairdresser has told her I must be mad (well, that'll be true then!). All I got today, from the minute I arrived was abuse and blame. No other family member would take on LPA, not even to be joint attorney, and my brother only visits twice a year. He is coming in a fortnight but mother has made him a jelly already (he's 63) and taken food from freezer two days ago – 6 lamb chops, 2 gammon steaks, 12 sausages. Naturally I've saved him from food poisoning and binned it. She said she'd taken it out for her tea tonight. I could not take any more abuse this morning and just walked out after being accused of not giving her £60 last week. I said perhaps she'd just mislaid it and it would turn up, (this often happens), but she just got nastier and nastier. I found a £20 note in letter rack, but of course she hadn't put it there. I topped up her £100 float today and asked her to sign (because I'm not happy with any of this), that she had received it. She appeared to be writing, but when I looked at it, nothing – she had pretended to do so! I feel I need to cover my back – I said, sarcastically, “oh, invisible ink”, and made her sign it properly.
I know once I get registration LPA, I will just go to bank and take over everything, but not sure whether I'm going to get through next couple of week or so! I am a little weepy today, for some reason. Not like me at all – maybe due to over-tiredness as I've had my 4 year old granddaughter staying for a few days. So lovely to have something to smile about when she's here – and now back to reality. But in truth, the smiley part should be the reality....
