1. wedge

    wedge Registered User

    Jan 14, 2008
    15
    egham surrey
    Hi everyone,

    Bob and I have just returned from our holiday in Italy. It started off quite well, Bob seemed happy to be there and the first few days went well inspite of some confusion over where we were and how long we were staying. By the beginning of the second week Bob began to deteriate rapidly, he was anxious all the time and seemed to get more and more confused and depressed. He became focused on his cigarettes, accusing me of stealing them and constantly searching his pockets and the drawers in the hotel room for packets. We struggled on luckily we had some very good friends with us, the journey home was a nightmare. Bob had no idea where he was or where he was going, his speech was impossible to understand, most of what he said made no sense at all. I was so glad to land at Gatwick, it was the longest two hours of my life.

    Now we are safetly home he has improved a little but the deteriation over these two weeks seems very bad, I am hoping that after a few days peace and quite in familiar surroundings he may settle down. He is anxious all the time now and very depressed. has anyone else had a similar experience? Should I contact the doctor? Is this all part a parcel of this illness?Should I not have taken him so far away?

    I will be pleased to hear from anyone

    Wendy
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    Hello Wendy

    Please don`t start blaming yourself for Bob`s disorientation on holiday. You were not to know.

    It does sound as if Bob found being away from home confusing. Perhaps next time you stay in this, country and see how he does then.

    I`d give him a week or so to settle at home and if he`s still depressed and anxious, consult his doctor.

    You never know, this could be a blip, or a deterioration or just the holiday. Only time will tell, but please Wendy, you know you have done nothing wrong.

    Please post an update. I hope he will be all right.

    Love xx
     
  3. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Wedge:

    I have not experienced quite the same as you but our last holiday was self.c in Wales, with daughter and family just around the corner. It was a farm, lovely and peaceful. BUT my husband just could not cope - when we arrived home and I had unpacked he said 'when are we going on holiday' :eek:

    So I have not done much since then except the odd weekend with friends - they have been up and down. I do not think I would do another trip away now.

    I do hope your husband settles down into the routine at home - it is hard isn't it? I am pleased you had friends with you to share a little of the problem.

    Best wishes Jan
     
  4. citybythesea

    citybythesea Registered User

    Mar 23, 2008
    632
    coast of texas
    Wendy,

    I am so sorry for what happened. Yes, sometimes a trip can make the confused state of an AD patient worse. They become used to surroundings and become agitated because of the confusion from being somewhere they do not know. I hate to say it but even a hospital can do that. (When mom would have to be in a hospital she would not thrive, but go down hill. Bring her home she would seem to rally.) Not all AD patients are the same tho'. I would still get a check out from the doctor to make sure that that was the case. IN the meantime relax for yourself and over time he too will probably get back to "normal".

    As for the trip..don't feel bad..I took mom on a crosscountry trip last Summer that lasted a month. (WELL over 5000 kilometers driven...we drove from Texas to Georgia then back across to California then home) I don't know if that really caused her downfall as hers happened a few months later, I do know that we can't know what is right till later and that I will never know as you will never know if it was right or wrong. Don't beat yourself down, remember the good memories and just remember how he reacted for later decisions to be made.


    HUGS

    Nancy
     
  5. Ditto

    Ditto Registered User

    May 17, 2008
    45
    Cape Town
    Hi Wedge,

    a recent experience with my patient (away to family for xmas) made her Doctor and myself make a joint decision that she would not be taken out of her own home again for more than a few hours at any given time. My patient was only away for 19 days, but she apparantly became over anxious and restless by the end of week one, and by week two she took herself to bed and pretty much stayed there till her return to her own home. When I got her back, she was in a terrible state, stayed in bed for several days and kept asking me if she was home yet.

    I guess Alzheimers creates enough uncertainty in the minds of suffereres so taking them out of their safe spaces could make them feel frightened, perhaps even threatened. Sadly it may be time to cut down on overseas trips and perhaps try something a little closer. Talk to your GP and see what he say's.

    Take care and keep us posted

    Ditto :)
     
  6. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    Hi Wendy,

    A similar thing happened last year when we went to Lanzarote. It was dreadful, I don't even have the words to describe it. And trying to keep everything "normal" for the children was a nightmare.

    Things did improve once we got home but it took a good few weeks. I will never take John on a plane again.

    If it's any comfort we have had 3 short breaks in this country since (including visiting his mum in the Isle of Man) which have gone as well as can be expected at this stage.

    Please don't blame yourself, how can we possibly know what will affect our loved ones.

    Take care

    Love
    Jackie
    xx
     
  7. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Wendy,
    So sorry that the holiday was so difficult....I know that dad quickly stopped holidays with mum, (she deteriorated after a holiday abroad) and he even found a weekend away disorientated her too much.

    Call the doctor? If it makes you feel better then do it. I should think that you will find Bob becomes calmer, as he settles back into his familiar surroundings.

    Do not reproach yourself Wendy.....we are all on a learning curve.
    Love Helen
     
  8. wedge

    wedge Registered User

    Jan 14, 2008
    15
    egham surrey
    from wedge ref holiday

    Thank you so much everyone for all your replies, it helps so much to share the worries. I think I will take Bob and have a chat with the doctor, maybe he will suggest something that will calm him down until he settles at home again. I definitely will not attempt a flight again. Just short visits to friends will be enough now.
    Wendy
     

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