wandering worries

[paris07]

Hi All,
I have posted previously that my mum likes to go for a walk down the road,sometimes. it really worries me as I cannot walk long distances with her due to my knees, also she just puts the hat on the head and takes off and as she is seldom out of my sight I see her heading out the gate. I usually watch her and she turns around just a little way down the road and heads home.
Well my latest worry is, Sunday morning I was on my own with mum and granddaughter (18months old) and mum decided to take a walk, I presumed she would do her usual but , no, she continued walking turning into a vacant paddock and coming out the other street,I put baby in the car and went after her after
phoning my friend to come up the street also.
my friend got to her before me and mum said she was lost and nobody loved her.

I hope you all don't think that I neglect my mum and do not care for her, but it is hard when she expects me to drop everything and go for a walk or take her to town or entertain her .
I know my mum does not like me to have our granddaughter here, I am wondering if she did this for attention or is it the start of a new problem for me.

We have now informed the local police (as we are only a small community) they said anytime I need them just call .We have lots of bush and creeks near our
house.

My biggest worry is mum safety, whether it be falls or wandering, it's a constant battle of wits to keep one step ahead

regards
Paris07

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Paris,

As I was reading your post my first thought was you could do with someone to take your mother for a good walk every day. Is it possible for you to employ a carer to do this?

Please don`t be offended, but in this country, the elderly, the disabled and the housebound employ people to walk their dogs, I don`t know if the same applies in Oz. If someone could take your mother for a walk, you would get some breathing space and your mother would use up some of her surplus energy.

I doubt it`s attention seeking, even though I accept she may be jealous of your grandchild. When my husband is bored, which is very often, he goes for walks too.

Take care

Love xx

 

[Skye]

I hope you all don't think that I neglect my mum and do not care for her, but it is hard when she expects me to drop everything and go for a walk or take her to town or entertain her .
I know my mum does not like me to have our granddaughter here, I am wondering if she did this for attention or is it the start of a new problem for me.

No Paris, none of us will think that. I'm afraid it might just be the start of a new problem for you. Many people with AD like to walk, my husband does, though he can't walk far now. But when he was at home, he liked a long walk morning and afternoon. I let him go on his own as long as I felt it was safe, but after that I either went with him, or told him it was too cold, too wet, any excuse! (I guess the weather wouldn't be a valid excuse for where you are. Here, it works every time!) But that meant that I had to keep him diverted all afternoon.

There may also be an element of attention seeking, people do like to be the centre of attention, but I do think it's probably just the need to be active.

My biggest worry is mum safety, whether it be falls or wandering, it's a constant battle of wits to keep one step ahead

That's something else most of us know about! It is a battle of wits, and to be honest, it's a battle you can't win. You're not fighting your mum, you're fighting a disease. The disease is relentless, and you just have to keep fighting until you can't fight any more.

Sorry not to be more positive, but at least you know you're not alone.

Good luck,

 

[Kate P]

Hi Paris,

Of course none of us think you're not looking after your mum properly - I bet there isn't one person on here who thought they knew what the person they care for was going to do only to be utterly taken by surprise when they did something out of the blue. Sometimes I feel like mum's doing something new and unexpected every day!

I understand your problem - my mum is very active and is agitated much of the time if she doesn't get out. She wants to keep going to the shops to walk around but there's only so many times we can take her in one day!

I've advised dad that I think we should get daytime carers who can take her to the shops as many times as she likes. If it's already your job to do that then it's not quite so frustrating.

I think Sylvia's suggestion of someone to take your mum for a good long walk every day is a great idea if you could arrange it - it would also give you a much needed, regular break for yourself.