Waking up and thinking dreams are true.

[Bethany123]

Hi I’m new here!

I hoping you’ll be able to help me. My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just 2 weeks ago it’s been a long battle getting this diagnosed he was in denial for years but finally we got a diagnosis.

My dad has moved in with us he has his own flat out the back of our house what’s handy I don’t want to invade his space etc and he wants his own space to.

Anyway today I got back from Shopping dad’s usually fine, but today when I got home I noticed he wasn’t himself after talking to him it’s clear he had a dream and woke up and he was living it,

He said he had been chasing the dog around for hours as he had escaped, he changed the story 3 times to something different. My dog was in my house so dad didn’t have the dog anyway.

He also said that someone came to the house wanting to use my car for filming an advert. (What was blizzare)

He also said that he had been on a train today. The nearest train is 7 miles away.

I was only away for 4 hours I’m so worried about my dad what can I do to help him? Has anyone else had to deal with this?


We’re going to the doctors first thing Monday morning.

 

[Ann Mac]

Hi Bethany, and welcome to TP.

If your Dad behaving like this and having these sorts of delusions is a new thing, then the first thing I would do is get him checked out for a UTI or some other sort of infection. They can cause delusions to appear or get worse in the elderly.

Having said that, what you describe is pretty common with dementia - delusions and confabulations. My Mum in law could wake and it would seem that whatever dreams she had been having would continue and be her reality. Or maybe it was just that she woke and straight away began having delusions - it was hard to tell. I got tales about her having been chased all night, by gunmen or terrorists, or by dragons or by 'people' who wanted to hurt her. And it was all 100% real to her. And these delusions could continue all day, sometimes changing in small details, or sometimes completely new ones would emerge. In her case, sadly, they were often quite scary or would make her angry and paranoid. Confabulations - accounts of things that she had claimed to have done, or said, or experienced, that were totally untrue - were also common. They didn't seem to upset her like the delusions (though delusions could sometimes creep in and cause problems). They could be sparked by something seen on the TV, or something she had heard, and sometimes I couldn't work out where they had come from. These didn't upset her as the delusions did, but were incredibly detailed and often totally illogical. We got tales of how she had 'caught the bus, to her brothers house in Limerick' (we live in Wales!) or how she had been 'evicted from the jungle' that morning. Or how she had once dated some celebrity she had spotted on the telly. And she absolutely believed every single word of what she was saying, so no point correcting her or trying to prove to her that these events had never happened - as far as she was concerned, they had - and if I or anyone else said any different, we were lying.

This behaviour is pretty hard to get your head around - you find yourself wondering how on earth our loved ones can come out with such strange and bizarre claims and not see how illogical and strange they are. I also found it difficult not to get frustrated and worn out by days spent listening to what was basically one bit of unbelievable fiction after another, trying desperately to react as though it all made perfect sense so as not to upset my Mil. As long as the delusions/confabulations didn't lead to paranoid, offensive or abusive melt downs from Mil, I tried to go along with them - but I think mst of us find that that is easier said than done on occasion.

Get your Dad checked out for a UTI, and search and read posts on TP about delusions and confabulations - the experience of others on here will help you get your head round this particular issue and explain it probably better than I can - Good luck, hun xxx

 

[Jessbow]

Get him checked for a UTI, then just understand that it was a dream he believed. Its so common.

My mother spent some time in hospital . She used to tell me endlessly about the parties the nurses had on the ward at night. I got quite upset to think that nurses were making enough noise that mum thought they were having a party....except as she told me the detail, I realised she'd dreamed it all. ( All the attendee's were lesbians and they arrived in narrow boats which they tied to the end of her bed)

I also found her very distressed on morning, dad had fallen and cracked his head on the mantlepiece, blood everywhere, ''Go and help him please'' . ( he'd passed away some weeks before)

She asked me one morning, Was the fire out? She'd had the whole fire brigade in the airing cupboard one night

 

[Witzend]

Happened a few times with my mother - I don't think because of any UTI. Sometimes the dream was mixed up with something in real life, or something she'd heard or seen on TV.

Usually it was best just to go along with it as far as poss - except once, when she was terribly distressed for over 48 hours, having dreamt that she and her cleaning lady had taken my father's dead body - in the cleaning lady's car - to a graveyard many miles away, and just dumped it. I knew this had been triggered by something on TV the night before.

Nothing anyone said could convince her - not even the CL assuring her that she'd never taken her anywhere in her car, nor me telling her that I was there when my father died, I was there when the undertakers took him away, I was there at his funeral.

Knowing what I know now, I would have reassured her her that it was OK, we knew, not to worry, it had all been taken care of and he'd been buried properly now. (In fact he'd been cremated.). Sadly I didn't think of that at the time, so there was a huge amount of inconsolable distress until the phase passed.

 

[Tin]

It has happened to my mum too and like Witzend has said, the dreams seemed to be a mix up of things on tv, the past and maybe just a picture in a book. Nothing too frightening for her, but did cause some anxiety and worry because she could not make the difference between a dream and real life and usually within 24 hours all was forgotten, except for one, she genuine believed someone had kidnapped her little dog, even though while telling me this, the little dog was sitting beside her and every time I pointed this out to her she claimed that was not her dog. Damned brain doing all kinds of things to her. Reassurance that everything was now ok and back in place did work and also just a drive in the car to supermarket even though I did not need anything, but a walk around and the purchase of a bag of boiled sweets did the trick.

 

[Shedrech]

just to say welcome to TP @Bethany123
and agree that checking with the GP about a UTI and asking about a review of your dad's meds would be helpful
might you also arrange an assessment of his care needs by your Local Authority Adult Services, as part of a care package could be time at a day care centre or the services of a sitter, as well as home care visits, respite and a visit to his home by an OT to suggest useful aids and adaptions - so your dad could be looked after while you have some time for yourself

 

[Witzend]

Just to add, even after she'd finally come to accept that she hadn't dumped my father's dead body anywhere, my mother was still insisting that somehow she HAD got rid of a dead body - 'someone' had come to the door and told her to dispose of it!
She was no longer at all distressed by then, so I was able to gently say, 'Come on, that would have been a very bad person, wouldn't it? Probably a gangster! So why on earth would he ask an old lady of over 80, and not another gangster?'
And by then, even she admitted that that it was probably highly unlikely!

 

[Leeds]

Hi I’m new here!

I hoping you’ll be able to help me. My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just 2 weeks ago it’s been a long battle getting this diagnosed he was in denial for years but finally we got a diagnosis.

My dad has moved in with us he has his own flat out the back of our house what’s handy I don’t want to invade his space etc and he wants his own space to.

Anyway today I got back from Shopping dad’s usually fine, but today when I got home I noticed he wasn’t himself after talking to him it’s clear he had a dream and woke up and he was living it,

He said he had been chasing the dog around for hours as he had escaped, he changed the story 3 times to something different. My dog was in my house so dad didn’t have the dog anyway.

He also said that someone came to the house wanting to use my car for filming an advert. (What was blizzare)

He also said that he had been on a train today. The nearest train is 7 miles away.

I was only away for 4 hours I’m so worried about my dad what can I do to help him? Has anyone else had to deal with this?


We’re going to the doctors first thing Monday morning.

Dad does this all the time, he is in late stages and sleeps most of the time. He tells us in great detail where he has been and what has happened, even though he has never left his bed. We just enter his world and listen. X

 

[myss]

Hi @Bethany123 welcome to TP, you will get a lot of empathy for others on here - as seen above - who are going or have gone through the same/similar situation as yourself. I will also add to those who have experienced delusional experiences with their person with dementia. My dad was convinced that there was a canoe in the lounge and there were women using it who told him to get out the room.
That's the one of many 'tales' that I remember as it was the most elaborate. He also mentioned that there were police outside for another reason and he went out and told them about it.

Just to double check I asked some builders who were working on one of the neighbour's house as they were there from dawn to dusk and of course said no police was in the street that day. Also I looked at the TV guide and noticed a couple of the programmes he watched (dad tends to leave it on the same channel) had some of the detail he mentioned in their plots. He seemed more accepting that it must have been that and he fell sleep in front of the TV with that on his mind.

 

[Szaitisja]

Hello.
I currently look after a friend who is 101 and has diagnosis of vascular dementia. She has very vivid dreams/ delusions at times and is convinced that they are true at times. She has always been keen on socialising and always threw plenty of parties for her friends so luckily that's what mostly happens. She is just having a party and they all sing the old cockney songs etc, etc. so most of the time she is not in distress over them. There have been times however when she was very unsettled at times. Mostly after the care agency has changed and for few weeks they kept sending a new carer each morning for the early call. That was freaking her out quite badly as it was all different faces she didn't recognise immediately after waking up and then the number of delusions increased and it was always strange women coming and she didn't want them to be there, and can I please tell them to go away. It took several weeks to sort out with the care agency to send familiar carers first thing in the morning, and it has finally been sorted apart from occasional instance of last minute carer change due to illness of emergency and the delusions don't occur that often now. Well, not the upsetting ones anyway, the partying continues every now and then, mostly at night in her sleep

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Szaitisja
a warm welcome to TP
your friend is very fortunate to have you so actively looking out for her
101, gosh that's a good age - if she enjoys her parties, long may they continue

 

[Szaitisja]

I agree. I just wish they would be a bit quieter at the parties at times as she talks in her sleep and/or half awake and it normally wakes me up as i can hear it on the baby monitor in my bedroom But she does laugh a lot and welcomes everyone. I just sometimes get up and check on her if i can't make out what she is saying to make sure it's the nice sort of dream/ delusion whichever the case may be and not the distressing one in which case i stay with her for a little while and help her settle down again.

 

[Joanie1947]

My husband is not diagnosed but Doc says Mixed Dementia.He has been having delusions,hallucinations and waking dreams for about 2 years.This morning he is convinced our daughter and husband are in Barbados.My reaction to this news was "what a cheeky monkey ,we could have gone with them". I just go along with it and let him think it's real. Trying to explain otherwise is just more confusing for him. I really feel for everyone who's caring in this situation.Just stay calm and keep smiling
Love to all

 

[Shedrech]

Hi @Joanie1947 I like your response, we used that phrase in our family as a term of endearment so it always raised a smile, as no doubt it did for your dad ... a kindness to have him calm and happy

Just to say that this is a thread from 2018, so I am now closing it