Visiting Mum

[Beverly L]

It has taken nearly 2.5 years for my Mum to settle in her carehome and she still wants to go home. Yesterday my daughter and I visited her and we had a really lovely time and had lunch together. Mum fell asleep after lunch at the table and we asked her if she wanted to lie down and we would leave. She became quite confused as thought we were out somewhere and that we were going to leave her stranded, she couldn't understand why we couldn't take her home and wondered how we all got there. The carehome manager helped by saying she would arrange for Mum to get home etc but she was angry with us and wouldn't say goodbye.
Sometimes I feel completely unprepared for these situations and wonder how I could have managed it better. Should we have quietly left when Mum was sleeping!

 

[SeaSwallow]

@Beverly L Sometimes we do what we think is right and then it goes slightly wrong. With hindsight (such a wonderful thing) it might have been better just to leave when your mum was sleeping but who knows for sure. Try not to let it bother you and hold on to the lovely time and lunch that you had.

 

[Suzysheep01]

Sometimes you can’t do right what ever we do. Dementia is so unpredictable there’s no way we can pre empt how our loved ones will react at any given time. We can only do our best. The one thing that I hold onto is that it will all be forgotten very quickly.

 

[Beverly L]

@Beverly L Sometimes we do what we think is right and then it goes slightly wrong. With hindsight (such a wonderful thing) it might have been better just to leave when your mum was sleeping but who knows for sure. Try not to let it bother you and hold on to the lovely time and lunch that you had.

Thank you 😊 that is very helpful, it's never easy but we did have a lovely lunch 😊

 

[Beverly L]

Sometimes you can’t do right what ever we do. Dementia is so unpredictable there’s no way we can pre empt how our loved ones will react at any given time. We can only do our best. The one thing that I hold onto is that it will all be forgotten very quickly.

Thank you Suzy, I try to remind myself to remember these things I think sometimes I forget to allow myself to not feel so guilty. 😊

 

[Jale]

For what it's worth I always try to leave when mum drops off to sleep or when the carers come in to do personal care, it makes it easier for me and I know that when mum wakes up she will have forgotten that I've been to see her - yes I feel guilty for doing it but it works for me,
Good luck

 

[Beverly L]

For what it's worth I always try to leave when mum drops off to sleep or when the carers come in to do personal care, it makes it easier for me and I know that when mum wakes up she will have forgotten that I've been to see her - yes I feel guilty for doing it but it works for me,
Good luck

Thank you, that is really helpful 😊