I lost my mum to dementia nearly 13 years ago I feel your loneliness and loss. I didn't know how I would manage without her but I felt some comfort for her when she passed as I realised how unhappy she was. She longed to be with my father who had died 24 years before, so hopefully she found peace with him.
I miss her every day, I long to speak to her, just talk to her and I recall memories of her all the time, much like all people who suffer such a loss. If I knew what I know now I would have looked after her differently.
My mother loved Xmas. It reminds me of her.
Enjoy the peace your mum has found and know you acted in the best way you could at the time. Hindsight is a great weapon to beat our selves with . Be kind to yourself, she would not want you to be unhappy and isolated. She loved you, allow yourself to feel the warmth of her love and see the life she gave you as something to be enjoyed.
