Very end of life care?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by SpidersWeb, Aug 1, 2015.

  1. SpidersWeb

    SpidersWeb Registered User

    Nov 8, 2014
    8
    My very dear 98year old mother is very near the end of her life's journey and her long battle with this terrible terrible disease. She is now bed bound and is no longer able to take fluids or sustenance. She is so very frail and has no flesh left on her poor depleted frame. But even in her last days/hours she would like to drink but has no strength to swallow. It is heartbreaking to see. I have been moistening her mouth with a baby's toothbrush and thickened liquid to try to keep her a little more comfortable and sincerely hope her night carers in her care home maintain this through the night.

    She is on no medication at all but earlier this week her GP prescribed a very low dose morphine medication if needed to ease her discomfort but so far it has not been administered. Her care home nurse has decided she doesn't need it yet! I think maybe she does not want to give it to her. Is this palliative care?

    We (her family) now just wish her a very peaceful passing - I'm sure like all you other good folk facing the end of this terrible tragic illness.

    I send you all good wishes.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,717
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm sorry read about your mum. It sounds so like how my own mum was in her last few weeks. Wishing you strength and wishing your mum a peaceful end to her suffering.
     
  3. angelface

    angelface Registered User

    Oct 8, 2011
    1,086
    london
    I think medication is only given if the person is actually in pain.

    Is your mum lying quietly,or is she groaning,or muttering,or restless? I expect the nursing staff would give the medication if your mum appeared distressed.

    Members of my family who died from COPD or cancer were given medication. The two aunts who had dementia were not medicated as they appeared quite calm. Perhaps you could ask the staff for their rational about this?

    Sending you lots of strength and support for this very difficult time.
     
  4. SpidersWeb

    SpidersWeb Registered User

    Nov 8, 2014
    8
    Thank you Izzy for your good wishes. my dear mother passed peacefully last night in the early wee hours.I'm so pleased my husband and I were able to be with her. She has fought this disease bravely and stoically over many many years. She is already laying in the chapel of rest in our village - I'm delighted she has come home to rest at last . We plan to give her a right royal send off!

    QUOTE=Izzy;1144803]I'm sorry read about your mum. It sounds so like how my own mum was in her last few weeks. Wishing you strength and wishing your mum a peaceful end to her suffering.[/QUOTE]
     
  5. SpidersWeb

    SpidersWeb Registered User

    Nov 8, 2014
    8
    Thank you AngelFace for your response - mother in the end passed very peacefully last night without any medication I'm very pleased to say with us by her side.

     
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,717
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to read about your mum's passing. I'm glad she passed peacefully and that you and your husband were with her. Sending my condolences.
     
  7. count2ten

    count2ten Registered User

    Dec 13, 2013
    186
    [/QUOTE]


    So sorry to hear of your loss, but good to know mum had a peaceful passing and that you were with her. My own mother is at this final stage, all meds been withdrawn today and only morphine to be administered by palliative team if needed. Fluids to be offered but is refusing these. Always knew this time would come but still a difficult thing to deal with however much prepared for it. We all need a big comforting group hug tonight xxxx
     
  8. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Peaceful and painfree....What a gentle way to end a good life.
    I am so sorry for your loss but I am so comforted that your Mum was able to leave with no fuss or discomfort to herself.
    I am pleased that she is now home among those who loved her and I'm sure that you will do her proud with her send off.
    Take care of yourself. With love and sympathy....Maureen.x.
     
  9. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,477
    West Midlands
    Thinking of you xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  10. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Condolences on the loss of your dear mother.
     
  11. SpidersWeb

    SpidersWeb Registered User

    Nov 8, 2014
    8
    Our thoughts are with you and your dear mother at this very difficult time - we wish you both lasting peace and send you that much needed virtual hugxx
    So sorry to hear of your loss, but good to know mum had a peaceful passing and that you were with her. My own mother is at this final stage, all meds been withdrawn today and only morphine to be administered by palliative team if needed. Fluids to be offered but is refusing these. Always knew this time would come but still a difficult thing to deal with however much prepared for it. We all need a big comforting group hug tonight xxxx[/QUOTE]
     
  12. Miss Dew

    Miss Dew Registered User

    Aug 5, 2015
    2
    Wiltshire
    Your Dear Mum

    Have just read your loving and tender messages about your Mum. It is wonderful to know she was cared for so dearly and with such compassion .
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.