1. HelenMG

    HelenMG Registered User

    May 1, 2008
    194
    Dublin, Ireland
    Dad has flipped today.
    He is very angry towards me and my sister. In the last half hour he has threatened my sister and got out of the car at the local petrol station and walked off. He threatens with his walking stick.

    He wont have anything to do with either of us. He wont come home and jsut keeps on walking. He is not being distracted by anything (admiring the gardens, saying prayers, talking about his life) Our local alzheimer help line is closed today.

    Not sure what to do. Just keep with him outside (its pretty cold)and keep tryimng to communicate? He is having none of it so far. He thinks we are bad people stopping him . He has been unsettled all week and I really do not know how to get through to him.
    Can any one offer advice very soon. I will have to go out and help my sister.
    Thanks
    Helen
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,122
    Kent
    Helen, have you got an emergency number for Social Services. If so phone them and tell them your father is at risk.
    Love xx
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    If not SS then a call to the Police, giving background info, might be an idea.
     
  4. Helen - Don't know which part of the country where you live, but here's how it works in Wigan.

    We have a 24 hour service called the "Central Duty Team" that are there to handle emergencies re: Mental Health Issues - that includes when other services are not available.

    There must be an equivalent of that where you live - I suggest you phone the local hospital/police etc. to get that number.

    Try to have as much info. at hand as you can as to any medication he is taking/services he is known to/input from professionals etc.

    In the meantime, is there anyone else who gets on with your Dad who he can chat with (if safe to do so) - just to listen to what he has to say and allow him to ventilate?

    I apologise if I'm suggesting things you've done already or are obvious... I'm just thinking about how I'd deal with this in my role as a Community Psychiatric Nurse.

    My regards to you and your Dad, hope you get it sorted.


    Neil.
     
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,442
    Unfortunately, Helen is in Dublin I believe, so information about the UK is probably not relevant. I've had a look through websites and frankly, there seems to be dearth of information about what emergency social services are available, if any. I realize that this post is a bit late, but I would agree that probably the only option is calling either the police or an ambulance (police first I suppose).
     
  6. HelenMG

    HelenMG Registered User

    May 1, 2008
    194
    Dublin, Ireland
    Dad is calmed down now

    Dear all,
    Thank you all for your help and support. We don't have great social care here. However I will ask the community care team what sevices are available in case of an emergency. I will contact the Alzheimers association helpline and care centre tomorrow. We tried dad at the day care centre but he got aggressive then too so we stopped.

    This morning we tried getting my brother to talk to him but he was having none of that. I wanted to phone an ambulence (not sure where they'd have taken him) but my sister said wait a while. In the end she walked with him, letting him "ventilate" his feelings (and taking terrible abuse) till she got too cold (Thats a good tip Neil, I will remember that). After 2 hours walking up and down she persuded him finally to get back in the car and go home for a cup of tea, which he did reluctanly. I read up the Alzheimer help sheets on aggressive behaviour and it suggested to let him be as long as he is not harming himself and not to aggravate the situation. I stayed with him in the afeternoon and he was very quiet and subdued. I didn't try to do anything with him just kept quiet and went along with him. He gradually mellowed and by 5pm he was back to his normal self and could smile and be relaxed with us. He told both my sister and I that he loved us, as if nothing had happened. God this disease is horrible.

    The help sheets said an aggresssive incident can be triggered by several things. This last week his routine has been different. On top of that I think he is getting more and more isolated in himself, losing his sense of self and independence and getting angry with that and those of us who try to help (though at the time he sees it as us thwarting him and keeping him from doing what he wants to do).

    Dad doesn't want to go to a care home; we had a trial run last year that didn't work but we need to try again as these episodes are so disruptive. very hard to deal with if we are at work. thank god we were off today.
    Again, thanks for all your help.
    I'd be lost without TP to turn to.
    Helen
     

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