Update on Sitting Service

[Helen33]

The lady from Crossroads came this afternoon and confirmed that Social Services had confirmed to her that we will have five days at 3 hrs a day and that it will more than likely be free
She will get back to me next week after she's seen who is available.

I told her I felt guilty because I was aware of the more pressing needs of others and she assured me that our need was important too and to take whatever was offered

I asked her why I was offered such a large package and she just said that it was something to do with the area. She knows my area offers a lot. If I lived one street away it would more than likely be a different story because it would then come under a different authority.

Thank you all for your help and support. I told her about TP and she even noted it down. I forgot to give her some leaflets but will do it next time she comes.

She asked me how I was and I said o.k. this week. She asked me whether I was stressed and I said "no not this week". It was good not to have to exaggerate the reality. I did tell her that this could change at any moment and she understood.

Love

 

[Skye]

Sounds promising, Helen. Well done!

 

[Nebiroth]

Incredible! When I called to see if we could get a one off sitter for two hours whilst I took mum to have her eyes tested I was told "the only way is to get a paid carer and pay for it using attendance allowance"!

I think I have to go and shout at them a lot.

 

[gigi]

Hello Helen...

I hope that visit has alleviated your guilt....

It does sound very promising...so we're all watching this space....

Thanks for keeping us in the picture...

Love gigi xx

 

[BeckyJan]

that this could change at any moment and she understood.

This understanding means you have a gem on your side. Well done. Take advantage of all the help you are offered. We all just sit back with envy but we can use your example (not by name) to our less caring services.

Please (make) Alan take advantage of all this. He may not like it to start but WILL adjust. David made it quite clear on introduction to our service 'I do not want a bl..y sitter.' She was great and we arranged for her to be in a different room. After 3 weeks of weekly sits he was calling her in to talk to him!!!!

Point of this is don't give up.

I am so thrilled for you and I shall use it in my fight with local SS who think I should only get 4 hrs each week. (Will not disclose my source ).

Love Jan

 

[Helen33]

Alan not happy

Alan was gardening again today!! He seemed fine and in good spirits. Then at lunchtime he seemed different. Kind of morose and agitated. He was very hot and that worried me. (His temperature is normal now). I asked Alan what the matter was and eventually I understood that he was not happy about having anyone else involved. He was trying to say that he was 78 and the woman from Crossroads was only in her 20's I would imagine.
He was trying to say that he would have nothing in common with her. I told him that she wasn't the one that would be coming and that we would both have to wait and see. In the end I got very firm with him and told him that change was going to take place but that we would both have to take it one step at a time.

I then suggested he rested for a while.

He's now up and happy again. He's just made me a cup of tea. Yes, he can make tea again I've just heard him whistling.

Love

 

[gigi]

Well manoeuvred, Helen...

Eric was similarly reluctant re the sitting service to begin with...

Because I was working then that was always a good excuse..

When I finished work he tried again..."She doesn't need to come any more now you're here all the time"...

So I had to think up a whole new set of excuses.

Now he accepts ....and greets her like an old friend. And even asks me if I mind if he takes her out lunch..

I bet it's good to hear Alan whistling again...

Love gigi xx

 

[heartbroken]

well done Helen
sometimes we have to get firm and lay the law down
good for you

 

[JPG1]

Is 'gobsmacked' a word?

Apart from feeling truly gobsmacked at the thought of five days @ 3 hours per day of ‘sitting service’, then all one can say is …. Where the heck do you live, and can we all move close to you????

Well done, you, for having achieved that … as if by magic! No need to use the word ‘guilt’ when magic enters your world! Just go along on the magic carpet that has come your way.

We had the same experience as Nebiroth, when trying to find sitter to cover for a hospital appointment, and that was during a particularly distressing period. No chance!

Whenever we achieved ‘happy compliance’ with whatever was required (nor for our benefit, we hasten to add!!), we never thought of it as a finding a “good excuse”. That word ‘excuse’ sounds somewhat negative for us, because to us it makes us feel like we have been manipulating a situation to our own benefit.

We have always thought of it as having found “a connection that makes it work” – makes it work for everyone involved, and so that everyone is as happy as could be, at the end of the day/week or whatever.

What more could you ask, but for a magical connection. And sounds as though you’ve made that magical connection.

Wishing you all the best!

Forgot to add the basic philosophy of our coping:

Accentuate the positive

And then, eliminate the negative

Search for, and then latch on to the affirmative

And forget about anything in between.

Worked to find our way from the negative to the positive, via the affirmative. The latter being, in our experience, the “acceptableness” on any given day for any one of our simple attempts to … move from the negative towards a positive result.


JPG

 

[Skye]

He was trying to say that he was 78 and the woman from Crossroads was only in her 20's I would imagine.
He was trying to say that he would have nothing in common with her.

Helen, I don't know if this is the norm across the country, but most of the Crossroads ladies here are 40s/50s. One of John's was a former nurse, the other had worked in a care home.

They do sometimes use nursing students, but more a fill-ins than as regulars.

I hope you get someone that Alan can relate to, it makes such a difference. Of course he's nervous -- wouldn't you be?

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Well done Helen

Twenty Brownie Points heading your way.
Can I come and rub shoulders with you when it`s my turn?
Love xx