Update... how to decide if it is time for a home

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Mummy's Girl, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. Mummy's Girl

    Mummy's Girl Registered User

    Oct 27, 2006
    26
    Wigan
    Thank you all so much for your support and helpful answers to my OP.

    I am so lucky to have such a close family. We all decided that we want to hold off a nursing home for as long as possible and so we are upping the level of care in the first instance. I've contacted mum's fabulous social worker who is coming to see my sister on Friday to discuss a staged introduction to more carers. We are looking at 4 times a day (morning, lunch , tea annd evening/bedtime). My family are very heavily involved in a local church and the ladies group (all mum's friends) are starting a visiting rota for her.. 2 or 3 times a week. So this should hopefully help a little.

    We are also going to keep a daily diary of her mood and significant events (advised by the social worker) to take along to her next consultant appt in March.

    It was a very difficult talk at times as we revealed that we want the end to come sooner rather than later for mum. One sister said it and we all agreed .... it is something we have all been thinking. She isn't 'living' she's existing and this was a very difficult thing to think about. Tears flowed in all 5 of us :( My poor mummy :(

    But onward and upwards... hopefully the care package will work. Lets be positive :)

    Many thanks again

    Karen
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,566
    Kent
    Dear Karen,

    What a wonderful and positive post. You have given me heart. I wish you, and your super family and friends, the strength to continue in the way you are planning. What a team effort.

    Please keep posting to let us know how everything works out.

    Love Sylvia x
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Mummy's Girl

    Congratulations on getting things sorted out for your Mum. You appear to have a great SW -- it's great to hear something positive about them.

    What a lovely family you have, it's great that you all agree.

    I hope it all works out as planned. Keep us posted.

    Love,
     
  4. allylee

    allylee Registered User

    Feb 28, 2005
    180
    west mids
    Dear Karen,
    I too had a brilliant social worker and with the help of fantastic carers have managed to keep mum at home for 12 months longer than any of us involved hoped for.

    Well done to you all for biting the bullet and good luck.

    Ally xx
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    what lovely news am so pleased for you and your family its great to hear that you have a good net work of friends

     
  6. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Karen
    what a lovely post!
    I fully understand your feelings about your mum......there are so many times when I wish the end would come for mum......i felt awful for feeling that way.
    Sadly mum did die on Monday.....but as she was dying i felt relief that it would soon be over and she would be whole again. it still hurt like hell to lose her but I know now there is no fear, no confusion and she's at peace and those feelings of guilt have gone....
    Take care.....It sounds as if you've got so much support from true friends
    love Wendy xx
     

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