Unwanted attention

[JudeObscure]

Hi,

I'm a new user, and this is my first post. I want to say how reassuring I've found this forum to be and I'm glad I downloaded. There's a pic of Mother as my avatar.

She's just been admitted to a nursing home and we had our six week chat with staff where we said all was well.

It now transpires that a man has been going into my mother's room all hours of the day and night and climbing on her bed, exposing himself. Once he urinated in the corner of the room. She's bedridden at the moment.

Mother's been a widow for 25 years and not interested in sexual behaviour, she's 88. When I told staff about it they said "we'll shut her in her room". She has claustrophobia so this won't reassure her. What can I do about the male resident. There seems to be a 'boys will be boys' attitude - which has upset me.

 

[Moonflower]

To be honest I'd be looking for another home for your mother. She is bedridden so cannot get away from this man - if they can't provide sufficient supervision to prevent this happening then they aren't really taking proper care of her.

The "boys will be boys" attitude would concern me - it suggests that they are not taking their responsibility for your mother's safety and dignity seriously.

 

[JudeObscure]

Just found out how to reply... Thanks for answering. I feel very sad that the end of her life (she has always been a very private person) is now being characterised by this man crawling on her. The manager of the care home isn't returning my calls to discuss.


Reaching for support

 

[Moonflower]

Sorry, I should have said hello and welcome!
It is sad - and not good enough.
Could you look around for another, better care home? If your mother is self funding, you don't need social services involvement. If she has been placed there by social services I would get in touch with them.

I'd be inclined to complain about the care home as well, but would probably move my mum out first!

 

[Saffie]

Gosh, this is really bad and I am appalled that this man isn't being prevented from abusing your mother in this way. It is up to the home to do something about it - and not to the detriment of your mother either.
If your mother is self-funding, I would move her but if the SS are involved then I would tell them what is happening.
The home have a responsibility towards their client.

Best of luck.
Welcome to TP. I hope you'll find it friendly and supportive.

 

[JudeObscure]

Thanks for the welcome. I've been browsing, now, too.

I gear the feeling she's in the wrong home, also. I'll se if I get a satisfactory response from the home before I uproot her again. But I fear you're right, moving her might be the only option.




Reaching for support

 

[JudeObscure]

Fear obviously. Not gear. Autocorrect!


Reaching for support