Hi there,
My mother has vascular dementia.
She started with small signs in 2019, but then COVID lockdowns came so her actual diagnosis was very, very delayed.
As such, she has not received any treatment.
My mother developed Sepsis a year ago and has declined quite badly since having that, to the point that a carehome was needed, since our family were no longer in a position to fulfill her 24/7 needs.
It's been years since she was able to cook or look for herself, even unable to make a sandwich and get showered etc, she'd just eat a piece of dry bread and lost the ability to know what time of day it was, at least 2 years ago.
I'm very unsure however of the stage she is at and what to expect.
The doctor at the carehome has given me no information, in fact the carers give me none either, always just saying she's fine. They're a great home though and make Mum very happy!!
So this is where my mum is at;
She is unable to make any sense, you cannot have a tiny amount of conversation with her, as she has less than a 5 seconds memory span, so halfway through saying something, as an example, she'll see a bird and then something jumbled up ends the sentence about a bird. She mainly babbles nonsensical things, laughs and we nod along, encourage her and laugh with her.
Mum is also struggling quite a bit with reading. She's always been an avid reader, to the point of reading all signs and words everywhere, but she cannot pronounce even simple words quite often now, but she still notices all signs! It's like she's forgotten the basics of vowel sounds and combined letters etc.
My mum can still tell the time 50% of the time, but says something like 8 to 2, or 10 on 6, the rest of the time. It's weird how it fluctuates.
She's been urinary incontinent for around 3 years now and cannot go to the toilet without care staff helping any longer.
Mum can walk, but just slides her feet along, not lifting them and she holds onto a rail.
She's eating ok and has completely forgotten that she dislikes or never ate certain foods, which is great!
Mum swears like mad now, yet never swore in life, she still very much enjoys a laugh, even though nobody knows what she's laughing at most of the time.
Mum cannot understand anything except the very simplest of things being said to her, quite often you have to repeat what you said, even if it's simple, as she just doesn't understand or follow it. Her babbling responses never match the questions or conversations.
In the carehome, she generally believes she has no children. She recognises us when we visit, but mostly knows that she knows us somehow, but mostly not understanding exactly who we are, although on a rare occasion she does know us as her children. Mum still thinks her parents are alive and that she lives with them, not knowing she lives in a totally different county and has for 60 plus years. ( I became her Mum to her for a while, but that appears to have passed now.)
Most of the other residents sit quietly and watch TV etc, my mum however does not. She notices every movement of every person and has something to say. Mum has sadly upset quite a few of the residents calling them names, as she has no filter whatsoever and hasn't had for a while.
Even taking her out to, say a cafe, is a huge ordeal due to her walking, as she can't slide her feet as easily outdoors, she cannot manage stairs or steps either and is offensive to everyone. In addition we can't encourage her to eat, like the carehome staff can.
Mum is also repeatedly getting infections, urinary and chest infections and lives with an oxygen level at around 88-90, for the past year, which seems low to me!
Does this seem consistent with middle stage vascular dementia to other people, or are we heading towards the end stages?
I'm struggling to find info as to how far along the journey we roughly are and how long we roughly might have left.
I know there's no definitive answers, but a rough idea would help with the financial planning at least and maybe prepare me a bit for what is to come.
It's been 5 years now since I noticed signs, but my mum still seems so alert, despite her inability to speak and make sense mostly.
Thanks in advance for any advice, or suggestions. I'm very grateful for your time in reading xx
My mother has vascular dementia.
She started with small signs in 2019, but then COVID lockdowns came so her actual diagnosis was very, very delayed.
As such, she has not received any treatment.
My mother developed Sepsis a year ago and has declined quite badly since having that, to the point that a carehome was needed, since our family were no longer in a position to fulfill her 24/7 needs.
It's been years since she was able to cook or look for herself, even unable to make a sandwich and get showered etc, she'd just eat a piece of dry bread and lost the ability to know what time of day it was, at least 2 years ago.
I'm very unsure however of the stage she is at and what to expect.
The doctor at the carehome has given me no information, in fact the carers give me none either, always just saying she's fine. They're a great home though and make Mum very happy!!
So this is where my mum is at;
She is unable to make any sense, you cannot have a tiny amount of conversation with her, as she has less than a 5 seconds memory span, so halfway through saying something, as an example, she'll see a bird and then something jumbled up ends the sentence about a bird. She mainly babbles nonsensical things, laughs and we nod along, encourage her and laugh with her.
Mum is also struggling quite a bit with reading. She's always been an avid reader, to the point of reading all signs and words everywhere, but she cannot pronounce even simple words quite often now, but she still notices all signs! It's like she's forgotten the basics of vowel sounds and combined letters etc.
My mum can still tell the time 50% of the time, but says something like 8 to 2, or 10 on 6, the rest of the time. It's weird how it fluctuates.
She's been urinary incontinent for around 3 years now and cannot go to the toilet without care staff helping any longer.
Mum can walk, but just slides her feet along, not lifting them and she holds onto a rail.
She's eating ok and has completely forgotten that she dislikes or never ate certain foods, which is great!
Mum swears like mad now, yet never swore in life, she still very much enjoys a laugh, even though nobody knows what she's laughing at most of the time.
Mum cannot understand anything except the very simplest of things being said to her, quite often you have to repeat what you said, even if it's simple, as she just doesn't understand or follow it. Her babbling responses never match the questions or conversations.
In the carehome, she generally believes she has no children. She recognises us when we visit, but mostly knows that she knows us somehow, but mostly not understanding exactly who we are, although on a rare occasion she does know us as her children. Mum still thinks her parents are alive and that she lives with them, not knowing she lives in a totally different county and has for 60 plus years. ( I became her Mum to her for a while, but that appears to have passed now.)
Most of the other residents sit quietly and watch TV etc, my mum however does not. She notices every movement of every person and has something to say. Mum has sadly upset quite a few of the residents calling them names, as she has no filter whatsoever and hasn't had for a while.
Even taking her out to, say a cafe, is a huge ordeal due to her walking, as she can't slide her feet as easily outdoors, she cannot manage stairs or steps either and is offensive to everyone. In addition we can't encourage her to eat, like the carehome staff can.
Mum is also repeatedly getting infections, urinary and chest infections and lives with an oxygen level at around 88-90, for the past year, which seems low to me!
Does this seem consistent with middle stage vascular dementia to other people, or are we heading towards the end stages?
I'm struggling to find info as to how far along the journey we roughly are and how long we roughly might have left.
I know there's no definitive answers, but a rough idea would help with the financial planning at least and maybe prepare me a bit for what is to come.
It's been 5 years now since I noticed signs, but my mum still seems so alert, despite her inability to speak and make sense mostly.
Thanks in advance for any advice, or suggestions. I'm very grateful for your time in reading xx
