Undiagnosed and driving

[Jan48]

My husband is undiagnosed but am sure he is suffering from dementia. GP will not do anything as he is having issues with his liver and they want to investigate urgently before referring for memory tests. Today I had the scare of my life, he drove in the roundabout the wrong way. Loads of traffic, the sheer terror in my face must have been seen by the other drivers. The traffic was in slow motion and I did gesture for other drivers to let him go by. He is usually ok with short distance and familiar places but we went to Tesco to get petrol as we rarely go there he got disorientated. He does seem to realise the mistake he made and how dangerous it was. I need some advice how do I stop him from driving, do I tell DVLA or the police? He does not think there is a problem as he cannot remember what he did. I am not going in the car with him, he can drive on his own . Should I tell the police I do not think he is safe.? Currently we only use the car once a week or less shopping only 15 mins drive. We can do without a car. I was also thinking to let the car mot runs out in June and get the car scrapped. Can anybody relates pl? Thanks

 

[Harky]

I can relate to that. Even before my wife was diagnosed i stopped her driving as there's a possibility she could have an accident or worse still, seriously injure someone. Wouldn't like that on my conscious. Can't really give you any sound advice as everyone with it differs. Good luck in trying to get him to stop ✋.

 

[Violet Jane]

It would be better if you stopped him from driving rather than avoiding going in the car with him. Can you do the driving? If he won't let you drive then can you hide the keys? You could disable the car or sell it.

I think that it's unreasonable that the GP won't investigate the possibility of dementia because your husband is having investigations for another condition. I would tell the GP what's happened and insist on an investigation for dementia. It's possible that the GP will advise your husband to stop driving for the time being because of the investigations into the problem with his liver but I wouldn't bank on this.

I think that you might be able to report your concerns, anonymously, to the DVLA. I'm not sure that the police have the authority to stop your husband from driving in the absence of a diagnosis or a sighting of dangerous driving.

Please do everything you can to stop your husband from driving. It sounds as if an accident is almost inevitable - or he will get lost.

 

[Jan48]

It would be better if you stopped him from driving rather than avoiding going in the car with him. Can you do the driving? If he won't let you drive then can you hide the keys? You could disable the car or sell it.

I think that it's unreasonable that the GP won't investigate the possibility of dementia because your husband is having investigations for another condition. I would tell the GP what's happened and insist on an investigation for dementia. It's possible that the GP will advise your husband to stop driving for the time being because of the investigations into the problem with his liver but I wouldn't bank on this.

I think that you might be able to report your concerns, anonymously, to the DVLA. I'm not sure that the police have the authority to stop your husband from driving in the absence of a diagnosis or a sighting of dangerous driving.

Please do everything you can to stop your husband from driving. It sounds as if an accident is almost inevitable - or he will get lost.

Yes he has got lost before at night but always find his way back by asking people. I do not think he will drive without me. He will be 83 this year and it is time yo give up and the car is over 20 yrs. Trying to find out what’s the best solution. Very fuffivukt to reason as he cannot remember what he rud was very dangerous and he gets verbally aggressive as well. I wonder whether I could get a friend to take the car away without his knowledge.

 

[maggie6445]

Oh dear ,how scary. My OH driving was getting dodgy before diagnosis. I refused to go in the car with him so he begrudgingly let me drive.
I'd report it to the DVLA and stop him driving in the meantime. I wouldn't want an accident on my conscience.
Disconnect the battery, lose the keys anything to stop driving until he had further tests. Good luck

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

The police might be a good call if you can do it secretly! If you explained the situation, they may well send a PCSO or similar to come and have a stern word:

'Good evening, sir. We've had reports of you driving the wrong way round a roundabout - do you realise what a serious offence this is and how close you came to killing someone? Can we have your word now that you will not drive again or do we have to take this further and prosecute you for dangerous driving?'

Meanwhile, disable the car or 'lose' the keys and push for that diagnosis. If you tell the GP what he did and that he is 'a risk to himself and others' you should get some action. Maybe if the GP wants to wait for the memory clinic referral till other medical issues are dealt with, perhaps you can ask him/her to also tell your husband he must stop driving.