Just me and the cat

[Regularman]

Hello, in 2019 my wife was working and all was well then she started to have memory problems. I took care of her the best I could but I reached my breaking point. She would fight me and I had cameras set up to watch her while I was at work. Things got real bad and with the help of an attorney and her staff they helped me find a home for her. She just turned 57 in Feb and we just had a 35th wedding anniversary. She has trouble even sitting down and eating now. I miss the old her so much. We did everything together and she was my everything. She is just like a sweet little girl now. We were never able to have children so I am all alone. Some days it is overwhelming. How do you cope?

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

Hello, in 2019 my wife was working and all was well then she started to have memory problems. I took care of her the best I could but I reached my breaking point. She would fight me and I had cameras set up to watch her while I was at work. Things got real bad and with the help of an attorney and her staff they helped me find a home for her. She just turned 57 in Feb and we just had a 35th wedding anniversary. She has trouble even sitting down and eating now. I miss the old her so much. We did everything together and she was my everything. She is just like a sweet little girl now. We were never able to have children so I am all alone. Some days it is overwhelming. How do you cope?

You are still caring for her as she's safe and in a caring environment. It's always so sad hen someone develops this illness so young but she has a strong and loving husband by her side. My mantra remains as "you're not travelling this journey alone".

 

[Tabitha2]

My heart goes out to you. It is a terrible disease, and your wife is so young. My partner was like a child at the end, and I missed the man he was before so much. It was hard to watch him slowly disappearing over the years. I was sad and lonely in the last few years (he died in March), and I am sadder and lonelier now. It is a long, hard road to travel and, as you say, overwhelming at times. Don't really have any advice to offer, I am still trying to adjust to being on my own and learning how to live a life without him in it. You are grieving the loss of your life partner because she has essentially gone, but treasure the "sweet little girl" she has become, for the sake of the happiness you both had together. Hang on in there, reach out for help and advice if you feel you are able, cry when you need to, and hopefully the cat (I'm assuming, from your title) can make you smile and feel a bit loved and needed occasionally.

 

[SherwoodSue]

I am so sorry this is happening to you at such a young age. It’s grief. It’s the loss of the wife she was whilst her being still alive and on this earth.

Grief is the price of love it seems

I don’t think it disappears or shrinks but we can grow around it so it doesn’t fill up us so much.

Double down on your self care. Look after your own meds if you have any, keep hydrated, eat healthy meals. Get some exercise in what ever form seems least like a chore. Even if it’s a walk.
Think back to any activities you enjoyed as a single man and perhaps re visit a few? Talk kindly to yourself in your own head

I found this forum helps but don’t be afraid to check out talking therapy elsewhere too.

)))))hugs(((((

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Regularman.

I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. She is so you too.

I’m glad you’ve found this forum. There will always be someone here to listen and offer support. You might also find it helpful to try the Alzheimer’s Society Companion Calls service so that you can chat to someone in person -

Companion Calls

Alzheimer's Society Companion Calls is a phone service that helps people with dementia and carers feel more connected and less lonely.

www.alzheimers.org.uk