Dear All,
I have a question- after my advanced dementia father died I am haunted by questions "did he feel pain I haven't noticed?" (he was getting no opioids, was occassionaly on paracetamol), "did he feel breathlessness?" (especially in the last two weeks of his life- he had heart failure but no diuretics or morphine were given; once he fainted and I didn't call the ambulance as at that time he was terminally ill and I wanted him to die at home- so I am asking myself "did I miss a heart attack?" , "did he have fluid in lungs?". I am wondering- am I the only one one haunted but such we questions? P.S. I was a family caregiver, no home hospice was available and the GP was refusing house calls. Are there any people haunted by similar uncertainties? I don't know how to cope with them- they hurt.
I have a question- after my advanced dementia father died I am haunted by questions "did he feel pain I haven't noticed?" (he was getting no opioids, was occassionaly on paracetamol), "did he feel breathlessness?" (especially in the last two weeks of his life- he had heart failure but no diuretics or morphine were given; once he fainted and I didn't call the ambulance as at that time he was terminally ill and I wanted him to die at home- so I am asking myself "did I miss a heart attack?" , "did he have fluid in lungs?". I am wondering- am I the only one one haunted but such we questions? P.S. I was a family caregiver, no home hospice was available and the GP was refusing house calls. Are there any people haunted by similar uncertainties? I don't know how to cope with them- they hurt.