and counting..since I got that phone call. Can't believe that on this Friday, when we set off on holiday it will be twelve weeks since Mum died.
The memories of those last few days are still etched on my brain. It does not seem that long ago. Tonight I am trying to pack for my holidays, alone as my husband has had to work late to finish some projects before we go off.
The weeks have gone by quickly. I find myself wondering when did I have the time to visit, but that is partly because it is a busy time of year for work, particularly after three weeks off at the time Mum died and trying to catch up ever since which I have now jsut about done. Plus the trials and tribulations of the six year olds...
I have cried, brief tears, most recently this morning while looking at a photo of Mum and Dad and realising, yet again, that they won't ever be back to talk to and share my news with. I have felt extremely happy, a joy that I have not felt for years when living with first Dad's cancer, then infertility and finally Mum's dementia for years and years and years.
I think I was lucky in that I had time to accept what was happening to Mum and that finally the Vascular disease just became too much for her body as it lost its command centre, having already lost my Mum years before. I have missed her for so long that I have been accustommed to her not being "here".
But I miss her. I want to share my excitement at being about to go on holiday, and the boys very good report cards, their new teacher, my plans for the school holidays, my new course, what we want to do to our house, camping with my neice and brother, stories of friends of mine that she knew, of her own friends and to tell her all about my fist "Girly" shopping trip with her grandaughter of 13, my only niece. She would so have enjoyed coming with us. Dad would so have wanted to have played and "persecute" my sons with his teasing.
Things that I can never do......but even so oddly happy too...
Mameeskye
The memories of those last few days are still etched on my brain. It does not seem that long ago. Tonight I am trying to pack for my holidays, alone as my husband has had to work late to finish some projects before we go off.
The weeks have gone by quickly. I find myself wondering when did I have the time to visit, but that is partly because it is a busy time of year for work, particularly after three weeks off at the time Mum died and trying to catch up ever since which I have now jsut about done. Plus the trials and tribulations of the six year olds...
I have cried, brief tears, most recently this morning while looking at a photo of Mum and Dad and realising, yet again, that they won't ever be back to talk to and share my news with. I have felt extremely happy, a joy that I have not felt for years when living with first Dad's cancer, then infertility and finally Mum's dementia for years and years and years.
I think I was lucky in that I had time to accept what was happening to Mum and that finally the Vascular disease just became too much for her body as it lost its command centre, having already lost my Mum years before. I have missed her for so long that I have been accustommed to her not being "here".
But I miss her. I want to share my excitement at being about to go on holiday, and the boys very good report cards, their new teacher, my plans for the school holidays, my new course, what we want to do to our house, camping with my neice and brother, stories of friends of mine that she knew, of her own friends and to tell her all about my fist "Girly" shopping trip with her grandaughter of 13, my only niece. She would so have enjoyed coming with us. Dad would so have wanted to have played and "persecute" my sons with his teasing.
Things that I can never do......but even so oddly happy too...
Mameeskye