I owuld be very grateful if any of you with experience of dementia and related issues could give me any advice and suggestions to help my family to find a way forward with my dad's illness.
We have become increasingly concerned about my dad’s wellbeing over the past year. In October I contacted dad's GP with my concerns, in confidence, as a result of his increasing distress and apparent paranoia. The result of that was that, according to my father’s version of events, he was asked questions to check whether he had “lost his marbles and was going to be locked away as a loony”. Feeling reassured that there was nothing more amiss we carried on as normal. We continued to be aware that there was a gap between Dad’s understanding and ours, but we were happy to put this down to his deafness and treated it as a joke. Unfortunately Dad became increasingly paranoid which was not helped by the fact that the company that he had worked for had lost the deeds to the family home. This has continued to prey on his mind and cause him considerable distress.
By Easter matters had moved on further, and on our visit to France he was unable to recognise me at times and was uncertain how many people were present in the house. Words had become more difficult and short term memory came and went uncertainly. He was very distressed at this time and was very unkind to my mother. On our return we persuaded him to visit his GP. We gathered that his problem was related to his cardio vascular condition, which we have subsequently researched on the internet for want of any other guidance, but still struggled to work out the best way forward as a family to support our father – who, by the way, is convinced that he will be dead before Christmas, so there is no point in worrying about him. He then received a letter from the Mental Health Care unit to invite him to go for a brain scan in Gainsborough. This came out of the blue as he had not been told that this was the next step and he refuses to go and blames the family for arranging it. He cannot accept that there is anything wrong with him and is afraid we are all trying to have him “put away” or “labelled as a loony”
Things have been up and down in the last few weeks, but deteriorated a couple of weeks ago following a bad cut to his leg and subsequent infection. This resulted in great distress, paranoia and confusion as well as the physical symptoms of the wound itself. My brother persuaded him to visit the GP again and he was prescribed antibiotics which, we were given to understand, would not just treat the infection, but alleviate the confusion and distress. Sadly, this has not happened.
I took my parents to France last Monday and it was a very difficult time. I have rad with interest the posts written on TP, many of which reflect our experiences – eventually we persuaded Dad to come home, partly on the very valid grounds that Mum is in considerable pain as she is waiting for a shoulder replacement. Although we obviously do not have a formal diagnosis, we have found our reading about dementia very helpful in dealing with Dad, especially the SPECAL method, but we are struggling with the reality of our own situation.
Dad had a routine check with his GP yesterday. I had written the GP a letter IN CONFIDENCE outlining our concerns including concenrns about his physical hhealth - he has lost 2 stone in 10 weeks - it is almost impossible to get an appointment to see him as he only works 3/4 days a month. The GP told Dad about the letter AND COMPLAINED THAT DAD'S FAMILY WERE ALWAYS "ON HIS BACK" He laughed off suggestions that here was anything wrong.
We are at our wits end -
We have become increasingly concerned about my dad’s wellbeing over the past year. In October I contacted dad's GP with my concerns, in confidence, as a result of his increasing distress and apparent paranoia. The result of that was that, according to my father’s version of events, he was asked questions to check whether he had “lost his marbles and was going to be locked away as a loony”. Feeling reassured that there was nothing more amiss we carried on as normal. We continued to be aware that there was a gap between Dad’s understanding and ours, but we were happy to put this down to his deafness and treated it as a joke. Unfortunately Dad became increasingly paranoid which was not helped by the fact that the company that he had worked for had lost the deeds to the family home. This has continued to prey on his mind and cause him considerable distress.
By Easter matters had moved on further, and on our visit to France he was unable to recognise me at times and was uncertain how many people were present in the house. Words had become more difficult and short term memory came and went uncertainly. He was very distressed at this time and was very unkind to my mother. On our return we persuaded him to visit his GP. We gathered that his problem was related to his cardio vascular condition, which we have subsequently researched on the internet for want of any other guidance, but still struggled to work out the best way forward as a family to support our father – who, by the way, is convinced that he will be dead before Christmas, so there is no point in worrying about him. He then received a letter from the Mental Health Care unit to invite him to go for a brain scan in Gainsborough. This came out of the blue as he had not been told that this was the next step and he refuses to go and blames the family for arranging it. He cannot accept that there is anything wrong with him and is afraid we are all trying to have him “put away” or “labelled as a loony”
Things have been up and down in the last few weeks, but deteriorated a couple of weeks ago following a bad cut to his leg and subsequent infection. This resulted in great distress, paranoia and confusion as well as the physical symptoms of the wound itself. My brother persuaded him to visit the GP again and he was prescribed antibiotics which, we were given to understand, would not just treat the infection, but alleviate the confusion and distress. Sadly, this has not happened.
I took my parents to France last Monday and it was a very difficult time. I have rad with interest the posts written on TP, many of which reflect our experiences – eventually we persuaded Dad to come home, partly on the very valid grounds that Mum is in considerable pain as she is waiting for a shoulder replacement. Although we obviously do not have a formal diagnosis, we have found our reading about dementia very helpful in dealing with Dad, especially the SPECAL method, but we are struggling with the reality of our own situation.
Dad had a routine check with his GP yesterday. I had written the GP a letter IN CONFIDENCE outlining our concerns including concenrns about his physical hhealth - he has lost 2 stone in 10 weeks - it is almost impossible to get an appointment to see him as he only works 3/4 days a month. The GP told Dad about the letter AND COMPLAINED THAT DAD'S FAMILY WERE ALWAYS "ON HIS BACK" He laughed off suggestions that here was anything wrong.
We are at our wits end -
