ive been hoping beyond hope that mums memory was just a blip or something. been to consultant today and he says without a doubt its alzhiemers. he will give her a prescription for tablets but he told me I should prepare for things getting worse. I am sad beyond belief as I am now seeing my future in a dark place. don't get me wrong. I am quite prepared to look after mum, but i really don't know what is going to happen from now. so very very sad.
told mam has alzheimers today. help
- Thread starter spuddle
- Start date
Depending on Mums health, age and level of AD you may have a long time to be sad Spuddle. I would take it easy at this early stage and get everything in place you need so as to cope better in future. You should have a CPN to monitor the medication so get her/him to help you with the attendance Allowance claim. You may need the money in future for care help. After that is in place you can reclaim council tax. Get a Power of Attorney in place fast!
If you have time to take her to Memory cafés or groups these will help you to talk to other carers and Mum to socialise. Contacts are invaluable when you need info or just to talk to someone sane.
Good luck.
If you have time to take her to Memory cafés or groups these will help you to talk to other carers and Mum to socialise. Contacts are invaluable when you need info or just to talk to someone sane.
Good luck.
If your Mum is over 65 and she needs assistance during the day or night claim AA and if the care she gets is both day and night then claim for the higher rate. Once you have the allowance then other benefits can be applied for.
Nothing happens over night so as said before me get all the legal paper work out of the way and take each day at a time and enjoy what time you have with your Mother. Let tomorrow take care of it's self.
You know we are all ready and willing to help you move forward so use us and benefit from all the knowledge on here.
Jay
Nothing happens over night so as said before me get all the legal paper work out of the way and take each day at a time and enjoy what time you have with your Mother. Let tomorrow take care of it's self.
You know we are all ready and willing to help you move forward so use us and benefit from all the knowledge on here.
Jay
I'm so sorry you're feeling sad, spuddle. I think even when it's suspected, an actual diagnosis of dementia is a big shock to the system.
When I found out my mam had Alzheimer's, it hit me like a ton of bricks, even though for months I'd suspected that's what it was.
You're not alone, we are all here to help each other along the way. Welcome to the forum (if I haven't already said this), and although it's sad that we find ourselves here, I know that I wouldn't have coped without the wonderful support that I've been given from the friends I've made on TP.
Please keep posting xx
When I found out my mam had Alzheimer's, it hit me like a ton of bricks, even though for months I'd suspected that's what it was.
You're not alone, we are all here to help each other along the way. Welcome to the forum (if I haven't already said this), and although it's sad that we find ourselves here, I know that I wouldn't have coped without the wonderful support that I've been given from the friends I've made on TP.
Please keep posting xx
thank you for response; I have thought for a while that this was the problem. as you say it has hit me like a ton of bricks today.... my teeth are chatting as if I am frozen. I tried to sleep and I am still awake at 4am... i guess im gonna be around this site for a while...... and i a so very very grateful to have this forum . to have found a place to help and understand this.... looks like its a long road ahead.
thanks again for your response ..my sister lives in Greece and last time she was here a few months ago we sorted out the LPA ( power of atturny thing) again, hoping beyond hope that is wasn't needed, though having talked to the consultant today it looks like it was. i posted a while ago and i was really hoping that mam was just having a little blip or something( dad died last year) but today the consultant said without a doubt, even taking all this into consideration, that she has ALZHEIMERS. i put it in capital letters because it a word that i have been scared of hearing;.
thank you so much for being here. i am so very grateful. and it looks like i may be around for some time x
thank you so much for being here. i am so very grateful. and it looks like i may be around for some time x
i'm sorry to read about your mum's diagnosis. I know it's hard but try to take one day and a time and enjoy the time you have with your mum now. It's good to be prepared but don't think too much into the future. My husband was diagnosed 13 years ago and I have coped with that by taking each new development as it comes and doing as many of the things we enjoyed as we could.
I thought this factsheet might be helpful -
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=122
I thought this factsheet might be helpful -
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=122
I am sending loving thoughts because I understand how hard this is for you. I am so sorry. You have friends here to whom you do not need to explain, we truly appreciate your situation and you can share with us whatever is in your heart. Keep smiling and enjoy every day with your mum. X
There is a way of looking at this which you might find a bit helpful.
Is your mum any different now that she has a diagnosis? No, she is still the same person she was.
You know what she can still do and what she struggles with and these are important things to concentrate on. How can you help her make the most of the abilities she still has and how can you help her compensate for the abilities she has lost?
Since my wife first started having problems in 2000, we have tried to make the most of life. Of course, we have had difficult times but we have also had, and continue to have, happy and fulfilling times.
Professionals can give you a diagnosis but they can't tell you precisely how things will develop for your mum so it's fruitless to try and predict the future.
Life goes on regardless and it's up to us to get the most from it that we can - for those in our care and for ourselves.
Is your mum any different now that she has a diagnosis? No, she is still the same person she was.
You know what she can still do and what she struggles with and these are important things to concentrate on. How can you help her make the most of the abilities she still has and how can you help her compensate for the abilities she has lost?
Since my wife first started having problems in 2000, we have tried to make the most of life. Of course, we have had difficult times but we have also had, and continue to have, happy and fulfilling times.
Professionals can give you a diagnosis but they can't tell you precisely how things will develop for your mum so it's fruitless to try and predict the future.
Life goes on regardless and it's up to us to get the most from it that we can - for those in our care and for ourselves.
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Hi Spuddle. My OH was diagnosed round about the same time as your Mum. Even though you may have suspected it was this for a long time before it still comes as a shock to hear 'that word' said out loud. I know how you feel, been there, done that etc.
It takes quite a while to settle down after that traumatic day but stanleypj is right in that she is still the same Mum you had before. I hope you will find, as I have, that after the initial shock of diagnosis you gradually begin to feel a sense of relief that at last you know what you are dealing with - as opposed to the 'Am I imagining things?' feeling which often precedes diagnosis.
Whenever I've started to feel scared or down, people on here are always ready to help so keep posting. We're all in this together! x
It takes quite a while to settle down after that traumatic day but stanleypj is right in that she is still the same Mum you had before. I hope you will find, as I have, that after the initial shock of diagnosis you gradually begin to feel a sense of relief that at last you know what you are dealing with - as opposed to the 'Am I imagining things?' feeling which often precedes diagnosis.
Whenever I've started to feel scared or down, people on here are always ready to help so keep posting. We're all in this together! x
Hi spuddle so sorry to hear that your mum hasAD ad that you need to be here but you've got a lot of support here from people that understand what your going through. Try not to worry to much and deal with things as and when they come along come along. The things with AD theres no hard or fast rule. Its abit like a roller coast ride. I think everyone here will say there will be good and bad days. So please enjoy the good days. And when you feel down you've always got TP to turn to. So sending you hugs, keep posting. lindax
Sorry to hear about this. I know the feeling when you first get told, it's such a shock to the system. As it happened it turned out that my mum had a different form of dementia but my friend's mum has had AD ever since I've known her (about 12 years) she's in her 80s now and is doing OK. So my advice is to take each day as it comes, there will be good and bad days to come and, looking on the ''good' side if there ever is one, if you're looking at life expectancy, you probably have quite a few years unlike other diagnosis'. Keep looking on the forums here because it's good to keep one step ahead and be prepared.
thank you so very much for replies and info... I have spoken to a few of mams friends and yes, as you say, she is still the same person she was yesterday, she hasn't a clue that she has been to hospital and been diagnosed with A... this is the way I would like to keep things,. I spoke to her on phone 10 minutes ago and she was quite chirpy and ok.... I guess its me im feeling sorry for. just seeing the future in a sad way. im so very very grateful to have found this forum. to know that there is a place here where people know and understand what is happening is very comforting.... thank you so much x
thanks again, so very very much. I hate to confess it but I have spent the last couple of days with my head in a bucket of wine. surprise surprise, that didn't help anything. as has been said, she is still the same as she was before hospital, and in a way, yes, at least I know what I am dealing with. yes, I had wondered if I was imagining things. unfortunately ive always been a worrier, and tend to stew on things before they have even happened but I realize that it wont help things and will just make me feel rubbish so its time to put a happy strong head on and find ways of coping and helping mum. I have so many worries I don't even know where to start. well its time for one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
I this helps I don’t understand why everyone thinks the worst or doom and gloom when they hear the words DEMENTIA because it isn’t like that I don’t know how long I have had dementia but I had diagnoses over 15 years I have never been in any Pain and apart from forgetting a few things or where I put things its life as normal so of all the medical conditions Dementia isn’t so bad I think the art is accepting it and carrying on and let catch up with you rather than giving in to IT , just to finish I meet 7 other people with dementia every month and they feel exactly the same as me we carry living life to the full
thanks tony. its good to hear your thoughts.. from someone who is living with it. it reminds me a bit of when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I thought my world had collapsed and life would never be the same. well of course life wasn't the same, but it carried on and I found different ways of making 'my world'... and yes of course I coped and 'got on with things' . I think it is just such a shock, and I suppose we only get to hear the 'bad stuff' as we see it on tv and stuff... I guess it makes for good telly, whereas the more positive things don't get out in the media. thanks again tony, its made today feel a bit better.
Hello Tony
I think you are exceptional.
People who make such a valuable contribution to TP like you, Barry, Norrms, Sarah , Pookie and SueJ [even though she hasn`t a formal diagnosis ] are the exceptions .
As carers, we are bound to be worried and a bit scared as we would be following any diagnosis of an illness or condition.
I recently had a serious eye condition and there was a thought I might end up blind . It terrified my son .
People do worry Tony. It`s natural.
I think you are exceptional.
People who make such a valuable contribution to TP like you, Barry, Norrms, Sarah , Pookie and SueJ [even though she hasn`t a formal diagnosis ] are the exceptions .
As carers, we are bound to be worried and a bit scared as we would be following any diagnosis of an illness or condition.
I recently had a serious eye condition and there was a thought I might end up blind . It terrified my son .
People do worry Tony. It`s natural.
If only everyone with dementia were like you, Tony. Sad to say, many of our relatives have experienced it so very differently, including three in this family alone.
Yes Tony, you and the others mentioned are exceptional, and inspirational. But anyone reading TP can see that many, many people have a very different experience. That doesn't mean that anyone's denying your experience.
well fortunately Grannie G I’m not exceptional in my area , I’m a member of Leadership Group this organized and run by the Alzheimer’s Society and several of Talking Point moderators will know this to be true facts
so I have to be careful how I reply and not breach data protection , back to the Group there are eight members all have a diagnoses of dementia all but one are 70+ years one doesn’t drive the other Seven still hold a driving licence they including me drive themselves to the Grope meeting place some driving over 50 miles in round trip we attend on our own and most importantly we all accept our diagnoses of dementia and we all live active lives , you're spoke of Barry , Norms who I have know for a few years and Sarah & Pookie I don’t know those but there must be Hundreds of us through the country .
personally both my parents had dementia and my mum’s brother & sister they all lives into their nineties so with Me that's Five in the one family
any way hope your ok xx
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