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Toileting & cleanliness


Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
Auckland...... New Zealand
Dad 83 with mixed dementia is waiting to see a Urologist.
He already had TURPS surgery 6 yrs ago for prostatitis. His tests and exam are not looking good, plus he was in hospital a month ago with a nasty UTI.
He also has impaired kidney function and is on Doxasozin for urinary frequency.

We have found recently that his hygiene and cleanliness wether passing urine or having a bm, is getting worse.
He constantly has damp underwear, and at times washes then in the bathroom sink but without soap, so basically dunks them in the water and hangs up to dry 😕
On occasion he either has loose bowel motions or urgency, and we will find poo on the toilet mat, on the toilet seat and sometimes trod on the hallway carpet.
Once again washes his underwear in the sink and hangs up to dry. Had to throw out several pairs.
The other day he was aware enough that he had made a mess and had a bath but did. nothing to clean up the toilet.

Although my brother lives with him and they live behind me, Dad will in no way accept any form of personal care from us or carers or agree to see an incontinence nurse.
Would not wear pullups or pads in his underwear as they are for ladies. Im feeling washable incontinence underwear might be the only option.
I am not there every morning to assist and he would not accept my brother helping either. He only just tolerates my brother living there.

Would like advice on keeping Dad drier and cleaner, and anything you can recommend to keep the toilet and surrounding area splash proof.
I know my brothers patience is wearing thin cleaning up urine splashed floor and toilet seat.
I know Dads issue is prostate & dementia, but I never had to deal with this with Mum.
Last edited:


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Hi Lin. OH has a catheter for urinary retention, but before he got this he was getting "overflow" incontinence with urgency and there were regular puddles on the floor and on the seat. I found it easier to have the seat up permanently and also used puppy training pads (with a semi-circular bit cut out along one side) to be used instead of a mat around the toilet