Time for Bed at 2pm..!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Jude, Sep 27, 2004.

  1. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear All,

    My father was horribly confused this afternoon and decided that it was time to go to bed at 2pm. Nothing I could say would deter him.

    All reasonable arguments such as 'you've only just had lunch; it's time for our afternoon walk; it's still daylight' etc fell on totally deaf ears and he became very irritated. My mother wanted to go out for a walk and he became very annoyed with her as well. Eventually, he marched her off to the bedroom and tried to force her to get in to bed too - much against her will since she was in one of her lucid moments.

    The outcome was that the more Mum became upset, the happier he became until he managed to turn the whole scenario on it's head and accused her of being silly in wanting to sleep during the afternoon and forcing him to do likewise...!!

    Sometimes I feel like I am living in a very bad B Grade Movie.

  2. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    Time for bed at 2pm

    Dear Jude
    I know the feeling, this afternoon I was supposed to go bowling, Margaret always come to watch. She isn't safe to be left by herself. Half an hour before we were due to go, she refused to change her clothes, all my remarks about 'not going in her working clothes' and 'she wanted to look smart' fell on deaf ears. With it not being all that important I agreed she didn't need to get changed and got out her outdoor shoes and coat.

    She then refused to visit the toilet before we left home. As she is incontinent unless I remind her to visit the toilet about every 2 hours there was no way I was going to take her out without being toileted. She was equally adamant that she had allready been although she hadn't. So eventually I missed the match and we never went out.

    This is a new departure as she has in the past usually been amenable to the suggestion that she goes to the toilet before we go out. I hope it is just a one off.

    Something new every day.

    Cheers Barraf
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Barraf,

    Thanks for your instant reply.

    I just cannot work out why the usual 'routine' suddenly collapses. We happily truck along for months doing the same thing at the same time [which is another tedious story altogether from my point of view] and then for some reason - WHAM...!

    Total refusal to comply. Irritation or just plain agrro and the old selective hearing kicks in.... After that, there seems to be nothing that you can do or say to divert the programme.

    I have no idea why this should be as it just comes right out of the blue with no prior warning. Guess we just have to grin and bear it, really.

  4. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Dear Jude and Barraf, I sympathise, afraid it's all in the package though! You can't win, just take the line of least resistence for a quiet life. Jude, hope they sleep tonight! Barraf, can you get a carer in to sit if this becomes an issue? After all, carers are entitled to a life, even if it is only short breaks for bowls etc. Keep on truckin' both of you, you do a fine job! Love, She. XX
  5. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Sheila,

    I don't think I could have taken the line of least resistance in this case and let them go to bed at 2pm. If so, then they would have been bouncing round the house at 2am and the whole cycle of life would have become nocturnal during the next few days.

    Not much fun really! On the bright side of things, I would have been awake to reply to you and Norman in the early hours......

    Jude xx
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Yes, see your point, mum did it a few times. I left her for a little while then went in all bright and breezy, "good morning, cup of tea etc." I know it's not ideal, but she then got up again and life carried on!! Love, She. XX PS, you have to bring your blue suedes to dance in the moonlight don't forget!!XX
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    I suppose Sheila and myself are classed as night workers are we?
    Jude and Barraf I am afraid there is no answer to the sudden changes and upheavals.
    All during the evening Peg talks,does not understand any TV ,retires to the toilet about 20 times,informs me confidentialy that she won't be long and I know where she is.
    At the moment madam announces "going to bed now is it late"?
    This is about 8.30 pm
    In due course she goes of to bed about 9.00pm,I follow and spend time on my PC, peaceful time I wouldn't normally get.
    This sounds fine but the crunch comes at about 5.00am when she wants to talk to me,I am woken up time after time.
    Then I am k-------d during the day.
    It is like a film Jude ,but I think a horror movie
    Best Wishes
    PS still being asked where is the cat?
  8. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    Time for Bed at 2pm

    Like Jude I felt I could not in this case take the line of least resistance although that is my usual modus operandi.

    The incontinence issue is I feel something that must be dealt with in a positive manner. And as Margaret still adamantly refuses to wear pads during the day the only way is regular toileting.

    If she refuses to use the toilet before going out I am afraid we shall be stopping in.

    As we were going about 8 miles away any accident would, apart from the embarassment, also cause some discomfort before I could get her home.

    I also get a little time to myself on the computer when Margaret has gone to bed, not much, as if I don't follow in a reasonable time she is getting up and coming into the back bedroom to see where I am.

    She has just come in now.
    Goodnight Barraf
  9. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dea Barraf,

    This 'going to the loo' syndrome has got whiskers on it...!! My mother does this all day long, although she obviously doesn't need to go THAT much. Well, nobody can...

    I have a feeling that it's an attention seeking mechanism since she begins this when my father is otherwise occupied by reading the paper or watching the news, or I am preparing meals and she has nobody's undivided attention for a few minutes.

    She also does this when she doesn't want to go out, or we have a Doctor's appointment. The kitten has been a good diversion technique for this behaviour pattern so far, but it doesn't always work.

    Unfortunately - she now has started this during mealtimes as well, which means that the meals get cold on the table. If I take her to the toilet to allow my father to eat in peace, she creates a big fuss and refuses to go without him.

    I kept a record yesterday and we took her to the toilet 47 times from 7am until 8pm. She doesn't have a urninary problem because I've just had a check done with the Doctor, who is of the same opinion as I am.

    It's VERY irritating....!! Perhaps Margaret is doing the same?


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