Hi Everyone
Over the last two days I have attended one funeral service and one ashes scattering ceremony.
To deal with the funeral service first.
Funerals are always difficult events, whether you are directly related to the deceased, friends or neighbours of the deceased or friends of the family of the deceased.
Years ago, they were occasions when the emphasis was on the religious faith of the deceased and the services consisted of bible readings, hymns and solemn music. A few words would be given by the Vicar, Canon or other religious representative which would highlight the religious aspect of the deceased and little more.
The funeral services have changed over the years and have rightly become a celebration of the life of the deceased and cover many more aspects of their lives than ever before.
The music has changed. You can now expect anything to be heard during the service, football anthems, 1940’s dance music, favourite bits of symphonies and, in the case of my old music teacher, no music at all.
Some things seem to have remained constant though, or so I thought. As kids, we were always taught that no one enters the Church until the coffin has entered. At the funeral yesterday, nearly everyone was in by the time the hearse arrived. Am I wrong in thinking this a mark of disrespect or is it the norm these days to precede the coffin?
The other aspect that has changed is the coffin it’s self. Usually of highly polished wood with strong handles and carried shoulder high through to the place it rests while the service is conducted, the coffin yesterday seemed to be made of wickerwork of some sort and was pushed in on a trolley arrangement, presumably because the handles did not appear to be strong enough to take the weight.
Is there a trend now away from wood to a more environmentally friendly material or was this a one off?
Some of the music by the way was Anne Shelton (I’ll Be Seeing You) and, perhaps more appropriately, Vera Lynne (We’ll Meet Again).
Now to the ashes scattering ceremony.
Must admit to this ceremony leaving me sad and somewhat angry.
I have never attended one of these before and naturally took the word “scattering” to mean exactly that. Opening the urn in the Garden of Rememberance and allowing the wind to do it’s job.
I was surprised then to find a small hole about 9” square and 6” deep dug in the ground and, close by, a small mound of earth.
The urn was then passed round to all the particpants in turn and we mumbled our farewells in an atmosphere of embarrassment and, for my part, with a lack of dignity which should have be present at the ceremony.
The contents of the urn were then placed in the ground and we were invited to perform the last act the living can carry out for the dead, throw a small handful of earth over the remains.
The sadness came when thinking about the end of a 96 year old life and the anger came when thinking about such a small plot for the matriarch of a family with a big personality who reigned over her family for such a long time.
I have never felt anger when attending burial services or cremation services but at the scattering ceremony today, I did.
I have resolved to have my remains scattered to the winds, preferably from the wind created by the passing of a steam train on one of the preserved railway lines. If not possible, the end of the pier at some seaside resort.
Over the last two days I have attended one funeral service and one ashes scattering ceremony.
To deal with the funeral service first.
Funerals are always difficult events, whether you are directly related to the deceased, friends or neighbours of the deceased or friends of the family of the deceased.
Years ago, they were occasions when the emphasis was on the religious faith of the deceased and the services consisted of bible readings, hymns and solemn music. A few words would be given by the Vicar, Canon or other religious representative which would highlight the religious aspect of the deceased and little more.
The funeral services have changed over the years and have rightly become a celebration of the life of the deceased and cover many more aspects of their lives than ever before.
The music has changed. You can now expect anything to be heard during the service, football anthems, 1940’s dance music, favourite bits of symphonies and, in the case of my old music teacher, no music at all.
Some things seem to have remained constant though, or so I thought. As kids, we were always taught that no one enters the Church until the coffin has entered. At the funeral yesterday, nearly everyone was in by the time the hearse arrived. Am I wrong in thinking this a mark of disrespect or is it the norm these days to precede the coffin?
The other aspect that has changed is the coffin it’s self. Usually of highly polished wood with strong handles and carried shoulder high through to the place it rests while the service is conducted, the coffin yesterday seemed to be made of wickerwork of some sort and was pushed in on a trolley arrangement, presumably because the handles did not appear to be strong enough to take the weight.
Is there a trend now away from wood to a more environmentally friendly material or was this a one off?
Some of the music by the way was Anne Shelton (I’ll Be Seeing You) and, perhaps more appropriately, Vera Lynne (We’ll Meet Again).
Now to the ashes scattering ceremony.
Must admit to this ceremony leaving me sad and somewhat angry.
I have never attended one of these before and naturally took the word “scattering” to mean exactly that. Opening the urn in the Garden of Rememberance and allowing the wind to do it’s job.
I was surprised then to find a small hole about 9” square and 6” deep dug in the ground and, close by, a small mound of earth.
The urn was then passed round to all the particpants in turn and we mumbled our farewells in an atmosphere of embarrassment and, for my part, with a lack of dignity which should have be present at the ceremony.
The contents of the urn were then placed in the ground and we were invited to perform the last act the living can carry out for the dead, throw a small handful of earth over the remains.
The sadness came when thinking about the end of a 96 year old life and the anger came when thinking about such a small plot for the matriarch of a family with a big personality who reigned over her family for such a long time.
I have never felt anger when attending burial services or cremation services but at the scattering ceremony today, I did.
I have resolved to have my remains scattered to the winds, preferably from the wind created by the passing of a steam train on one of the preserved railway lines. If not possible, the end of the pier at some seaside resort.