I am so tired of feeling this endless sadness over the whole situation with my Mum. She has been in CH for six+ years and it doesn't get any easier visiting her..in fact it has got progressively harder for me. She is well looked after and apart from wishing with all my heart that she didn't have this terrible condition, I am happy with the home/staff etc. She is mostly happy and smiling when I visit but it makes me cry everytime. My life feels in limbo waiting for her to die but dreading it too. It all seems to have been going on forever and it is so hard to maintain the same level of commitment and then I feel guilty about not visiting so often...When relatives ask how she is I find it so hard not to scream at them cause how hard would it be for them to visit? Everyone always has good reasons not to. I have reasons myself but the guilt over comes them. Sorry for the moan especially on such a lovely sunny day but it just gets me down.