The things they say do your head in

[netsy22]

My mum has certain things she "mithers" about (a northern word meaning frets or worries, pronounced my-ther).
There is -

the clothes mither- she has nothing to wear
the food mither - there is nothing in the fridge or cupboard
the bin mother - will you take the rubbish out
the lost items mither - usually glasses or keys
the door unlocks itself mither - it doesn't
the no cigarettes left mither- look in the bedroom
the who does this TV/furniture belong to mither (it's all hers)
the how much does it cost mither -anything from rent to biscuits it all costs too much
the when am I going to the hairdressers mither
the major one - are you bringing me some more tablets (I fill the box every Saturday) followed by how do you know what I take, how will you get them - (I have been doing it for 4 years.)
finally the are you coming tomorrow mither (yes I always do).
All this every day, and on the phone too, later on. It's a daily script we have to get through.

Anyone else have any other mithers?

 

[Amethyst59]

Ours change...but some regulars are...
Where are all the others?
Who else is sleeping here?
Who is your boss?
Who pays you?
Where's Jean? (Umm...that'd be me).

 

[marionq]

The bits that get me:

Where is everybody? Where is the rest of the group, team, party, crowd - we two live alone so it is maddening to hear him seeking a fictitious crowd of people.

What is the plan? Plan? How can you plan with a lame. 84 year old with Alzheimer's.

How is your mother? Well, she died 20 years ago so I dont imagine there's much of her left.

Are you working tomorrow? Aargh.

And so it goes on ......

 

[Jessie107]

Yes my day is also filled with,
Where is the t.v remote?
How do I turn the t.v on?
I can't find my glasses now,
I am just going to feed the birds their seventeenth fat ball, so now the rats visit.
Where is my comb?
Are you coming tommow?
We haven't got any dinner,
I'm fed up with taking these tablets.
Yes, it gets tedious to say the least.

 

[Jessie107]

You have laugh though!

 

[Tiggar]

I think I'll go home now (while sitting on the sofa at home)
Have you got the chicken in for the weekend?
Have you told mum I'm here? (she died decades ago)

Where are the others?
Has --- gone to bed? (they weren't even here).

Where are my shoes? (on your feet)

Sometimes I can laugh...but more often now I'm finding it difficult to laugh.

 

[Natashat]

Yep! All of this. Lots of questions like a small child

 

[Bunpoots]

We just have one theme with my dad:
What do these pills do? Do I have to take them all? What do they do? I'll take them in a minute. What are they for? How do you know? I'll take them with my coffee...and on and on. 6 pills 30 minutes.

Does that count as mithering? (Love that word - my gran used to tell me to stop doing it )

 

[marionq]

A few weeks ago a neighbour who has his 100 year old MIL staying with them told me he had got up early with her and lit the fire and made her breakfast. I was quite impressed as he is 85. Later speaking to his wife I told her what he'd said "Aye, in his dreams!", she scoffed.

I had made the mistake of believing what was said by someone with dementia but I did wonder about the lighting the fire bit. Silly me!

 

[Selinacroft]

Lovely- haven't heard that word since I lost my mum- she was from Brum.

Dad's mithers are

Shut that door
Where are my tissues
Where is my comb
You've stolen the remote
The dog's in the way
Nothing's where it should be
The heater isn't working/Turn the heater on
I need a teaspoon
Where is the salt
This isn't working- TV remote, heater, light
Can't hear you , stop mumbling



That lot sums up our daily conversation on a repetitive basis ! It goes round on a loop.

 

[Amethyst59]

How very odd, that a lot of us are hearing 'where are the others?' I thought it was because my husband (this is a second marriage) was thinking back to when all his children were at home with him.

 

[stanleypj]

Perhaps I'm not the only person reading this thread to feel grateful that I still sometimes hear my wife talk, even though it's only the occasional 'yes' or 'no'.

 

[Mimi5]

Mithering!! What a fab word

Meds:- What are these? I've had these already! What are they for? How do you know!

Food:- When do you have your dinner? I have mine in the evening too..... (Nope, we have it at lunchtime!) What's for dinner? Oh what food's in the fridge? What are we having for dinner? Where's the salt? Did I put salt on already?

Money:- Where's my money? When can I go to the bank to get some more? Where's my bank card? How will I pay for things?

Where are the dogs? When are you here again? Where's the tv remote? Why is this tv SO difficult to get on & off, I've never had such a tricky one before!!! Where are the keys,etc

Groundhog day. But sadly I have noticed that the topics for conversation pool has been drying up of late. Very hard some days and then there's the evening phone calls..........and breath.

 

[pitufi]

My mum's change every other week, right now everything I hand her (magazine, meds, cup of water, any food, toothbrush etc) is followed by 'and you?'
She just wants to share stuff. During dinner every bite is followed by an 'and you?' And I follow that every time with 'I'll eat later mum'
Still stuck in hospital she has nothing to give me that I haven't given her in the first place. She wants to gift me whatever she gets her hands on, used tissues, half drank water cups etc
It's sweet but I have to keep reminding myself of it otherwise I'd go mad.

 

[Pear trees]

Before my mum stopped recognising me mum said over again:
Why do you bother visiting, you never do anything for me.
You've stolen my money I hate you
I've got no food, you've stolen my food I hate you
You've taken my keys I hate you
your brother does everything for me (he hasn't seen her in over 5 years).
Get out of my house I never want to see you again

Then when she stopped recognising me:
My daughter doesn't bother visiting, she never does anything for me anyway.
She stole all my money and left me to starve, I've got no food. I never wanted her anyway.
My son is wonderful, so good to me, so kind and caring.

Now she no longer talks only babbles.

 

[Agzy]

Early after my OH was diagnosed I wrote this ditty as it was all so funny back then. Since decline her obsessions are so irritating and not a lot of fun.

Oh she says the funniest of things,
And brightness in the dark it brings.
She doesn't know or realise,
But silly things can seem so wise.

“I'll always remember the things I forget,”
Is probably one of the silliest yet.
I know I won't remember them always,
But I'll never forget them, she often says.

But I say I know what she means,
And my agreeable answer in no way demeans.
To her whose memories are to so indelible,
Their loss would be just, Oh so terrible.

But I know the comfort that it brings,
As I smile, nod and say with a truth that things,
Like memories and photographs get filed away,
And can be recalled another day.

Just not today as her brain is busy,
And life right now is such a tizzy.
With laundry washing and so much to do you see,
Then those magic words from me,
“Would you like a cup of tea?

 

[marionq]

Before my mum stopped recognising me mum said over again:
Why do you bother visiting, you never do anything for me.
You've stolen my money I hate you
I've got no food, you've stolen my food I hate you
You've taken my keys I hate you
your brother does everything for me (he hasn't seen her in over 5 years).
Get out of my house I never want to see you again

Then when she stopped recognising me:
My daughter doesn't bother visiting, she never does anything for me anyway.
She stole all my money and left me to starve, I've got no food. I never wanted her anyway.
My son is wonderful, so good to me, so kind and caring.

Now she no longer talks only babbles.

You are heroic for continuing to help her. I have a friend who's mother was schizophrenic and apparently never liked her only child because she wanted a son. My friend is now 73 and still feels the pain of such rejection. What damage parents can do.

 

[campervan21]

Oh pear trees such a sad illness to take our loved ones , so difficult ..

 

[Selinacroft]

Brilliant poem Agzy

Pear Trees- so sad and so hard to cope with. Stay strong

 

[Elle3]

Ditto

I haven't been on here for a while so this is the first post I've read to catch up and I found myself nodding and chuckling at most of the 'mithers' (love that word) mentioned as my dad does most of them.

I to, have him asking where are the others? and he constantly asks me if I want a drink of tea or pop.

Ellex