The speech therapist came today


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
What was the point.
I am now asking myself, what is the point.:(
I have had to change Ron's pant's and trousers twice today. Clean the bathroom floor, several times. I know in the great scheme of thing's it does not matter.:( But for some reason, it, bother,s me today. :( Have I reached the end of my tether ?.:mad:We went to B&Q today to buy a new curtain pole. Ron, he was nearly bent double. I felt ashamed.:eek: People were looking at us,:eek: I could see, why has she brought that poor man out ? he should be in bed. But, Ron wanted to come out, he feel's (like he is in jail). And it is only me that has the key's. I am dammed if I do, I am dammed if I don't.
Ron. has been asleep this PM since coming home from B & Q.
Just woke up.
I shouted at him.
I care that my arm's hurt from lifting him, I care that I am not getting any sleep. I care that it just washes over him. I care. Does anyone else ? NO.:mad:
I do not mean all of you, I mean his son, his nephew. A visit every now and again.:mad:
I expect they will all want to be remembered in Ron' will.
I would sell the house first, to fund Ron's care. So what if I end up in a rented place. Not getting any younger myself. And it begin's again. Will I be one of those people found dead 9 month's later?. No one cared I was there ?
I suspect, that not many will reply to this thread. I do not blame you. I blame the bloody system that allow's all this to continue. All I want, for Ron and I, is dignity. We both have worked all our life. Paid our taxes. What for ?
From the cradle to the grave - Having a laugh are you MP's?
Put your money where your BIG mouth's are.
With the greatest respect to every person on TP, and I thank you all - We do. I have, we have had the best support ever from all of you.
And some of you (well thanks) Lot's X:)
It is just Barb, the one who cannot spell, but hopes she will get her point across, having a rant.
Blomming heck, that feel's better. Liar !!!
Much love Barb & Ron


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear Barb & Ron,
Wish I could take away lots of the heartache, stress, tiredness in fact all that goes with this herrendous illness.
All I can offer if support as a friend.
I have been through all those things that you are experiencing.
Not even the Professionals know what it is like to care 24/7.
As for the Politician and Powers that be, I'm all right jack.
I had a go on my Grandson's punch bag and boy did it help, hurt my hands and shoulders but boy was I giving them a what for.
My thoughs and prayers are with you and Ron.
Take Care and God Bless.
Christine xx


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Brave girl to reply

Thank's Christine. A punch bag, good idea.
Ron has just had his dinner. Eat's like a horse. So I need to get a feed bag. JOKE!!! HAW, HAW. Not quite PC, live our life, or your's for that matter. Have to laugh, otherwise we would all go barmy.


Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Barb,

So what if people are looking? That's their problem. There but for the grace of God....

I am not a full time carer like you and take my hat off to you and all who care full time.

Everyone on TP cares that your arm is hurting and that you are hurting.

I have no advice for you, but thinking of you and Ron.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Barb

We do are about you, and it sounds as if you are at the end of your tether.

Have you seen a doctor? It sounds as if you could use a counsellor to talk things through with, or perhaps some medication.

I know how you feel, I too have been there, and I know how desperate you are feeling. But there is help out there, if you ask for it.

We can listen to you, and support you here, but practical help needs to come from someone nearer to you.

Please try, you can't go on like this.

PS Please don't sell the house. If you do, you'll have to pay for Ron's care, and be left with nothing. If you stay in it, it won't be counted if he goes into care.

I know that's the least of your worries just now, but keep it in mind.

Last edited:


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Thank you Sue & Skye
I am at the end of my tether.
Never thought I would get there.
The help on offer, they can stuff it.
We, I want to choose.
Our SW is off work, he is ill. No wonder. I would not like to deal with people like me.
I want to choose the care. I know Ron better than anyone.
Why, do they not listen.
As for medication, Ron, I think has had the wrong stuff for quite some time. And, me - well, I just need sleep. A fag, a drink and some TLC. Get load's from Mum, but she bites:)
I love my Ron, there has to be a solution ?
Love to all
Barb X


Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
West Yorkshire
Dear Barb
Stuff them at B and Q, stuff everybody who judges anybody who cares. Like you care for Ron.
Barb if you could, what would you choose for you and Ron in the way of extra help?
take care


Registered User
Oct 15, 2005
I'd lend you my red dot I pin on the wall when stressed if I thought it would help! But I fear you would only have a bigger headache, much better to go for Christine's punch bag......:)
Sending you a big {{{{hug}}}


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Barb, if you could choose the care you want for Ron, what would you choose?
After speaking to Ron - we/he would choose swimming. Ron used to be a swimming teacher. With his parkinson's, it is very difficult now, balance in the water. he would need a one to one swimming teacher to be with him.. It would lift his spirit, oh yes, that is number one.:):):)


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
After the swimming, well it would be a massarge (please do not go on about my spelling) you know what I mean, rub neck, shoulders etc. Just once a week. He would enjoy that. And it is not a stupid request, it would help Ron with his Parkinson's.
One other little thing - he would love to drive again, if only round a race track - it must be something about being in CONTROL.
Love Barb:)

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006

Ask for hydrotherapy, at least it will get him into the water, ask for massage........or have you already asked.

And ask Jim to fix it for Ron to drive round a track. :)

You never know, sometimes miracles do happen.

Love xx


Registered User
Oct 1, 2006
Dear Barb
sending you lots of virtual TLC
you sound at the end of your tether,and I do know what you mean about people staring.
I personally stare back at them until they get embarrassed and look away, and I once asked a woman why she was staring and she said was I being fair to bring my husband out when he was so ill.
I told her it was not a perfect world and my husband was entitled to go out into it if he wanted to.
So rant away Barb if thats what you want to do we have broad shoulders.
Take care Roseann


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Thank you, all of you.

Once again, you have all been so kind and helpful.
Just been a bit down for a day or so.
Anyway, Ron is watching the boxing at the moment. And staying awake.
I have had a nice evening, mum came round for dinner, so it broke up my night.
I now know, if you want anything badly enough, go and get it. So come Monday - the fight begin's.
Once again, thank you all


Registered User
Jan 9, 2008
Hi Barb

Glad that tonight has been a little better for you. I have just so much admiration for those of you who care 24/7, you stamina and determination. Barb, do you get any chance for some "you time"? Just from my own experience of having a young family and no-one to help out, sometimes you really need a break......let someone else take control for a while. Believe me, I know how hard it is to hand over responsibility to someone else but I have found that doing this, if only for a short while, gives the batteries a chance to re-charge and then I'm in a much better state to start coping all over again.

As Ron's career you must also take care of yourself. You will be no good to him if you run yourself into the ground.

Please accept this, my opinion, in the manner it was sent. I do not want to upset you but merely offer you support.

Love from burf x x


Registered User
Nov 20, 2006
My Mum has been down this low a few times, Dad ended up in the assessment centre for 3 weeks, something had to give. He came out very placid but is gradually becoming more challenging again to care for. Mum is tired again and it is taking over all our lives, which you wouldn't mind if Dad actually seemd to appreciate it!

A good thing that came out of his stay in the unit was Mum came round to the understanding that someone else could care for Dad, maybe not in exactly the way she did but he could be looked after none the less. She also learned there was life outside being a 24/7 carer.

Dad now does day care once a week and hopefully a second day too. She is finding the confidence to take him to an Alzheimers cafe too, she has now willing to accept help from outside the family - which is great.

Good luck from Monday in getting help, sounds much tougher for you having to do it alone, fortunatley I am able to make alot of the phone calls for Mum - Dad hates her being on the phone.

best wishes



Registered User
Jul 10, 2007
Can you not tell Ron's son that its his turn for 1 week to look after his dad? As a family member he does have a responsibility too. :)

That was 'tell' not 'ask'. Tell him if he doesnt look after his dad for a week to give you a break you will need a hospital and then the son will have full time care of Ron.

See if that shocks him into action.


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Thank's Burf, Scoop ,and Ishard

If only life was so easy.:mad:
I think a lot of this is, well, me feeling sorry for me.
I do not feel sorry for Ron, he has me on his side,:) I will kick **** for him.:mad:
We are good, we will survive.:)
God help the poor soul's who have no one.:mad:
Thanks all, once again.:)
Love Barb & Ron X:)


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
If only life was so easy.:mad:
I think a lot of this is, well, me feeling sorry for me.
I do not feel sorry for Ron, he has me on his side,:) I will kick **** for him.:mad:
We are good, we will survive.:)
God help the poor soul's who have no one.:mad:
Thanks all, once again.:)
Love Barb & Ron X:)

You are all wonderful
Thank's, I think I would go mad without you.X