Hello
@Jane3
I haven't been around for a couple of weeks, but I have read this thread through. Please forgive me if i have misunderstood, but it is not clear to me whether your mum is actively dying. You said that she is at EOL, but this does not necessarily mean that death is immanent. EOL just means the final stage before they pass away and this stage can go on for several months - i have even heard of it going on for a couple of years, although this is rare. This stage is typified by reducing appitite, increased sleeping, loss of mobility so that they usually become bed bound, increasing susceptibility to infections and pressure sores, and often get limb contractures (stiffness).
At the end of this final stage the change is usually quite obvious. The organs of the body start to slowly close down, they stop eating and drinking entirely and they pass into semi consciousness. Then there starts to be physical changes like the limbs becoming cold, mottling of the skin, the pupils dilating and finally, the breathing changes so that there are gaps between breaths.
These changes happen slowly over days or even weeks and even during this period they can rally more often than you would think. My MIL was given mere hours to live, but rallied and lived for another 4 months. I was told 3 times that my mum would not survive and was at EOL but each time she rallied and lived 14 months after the first episode. Mum also went 17 days with absolutely no food or fluid before she passed away.
Now, I am not saying that this will happen to you - your mum may indeed pass away quite quickly, but I wanted to explain that she might not.
I get the impression from your posts that you are worried that every time you visit might be the last and I am concerned that you are burning yourself out. You can't continue at this level. Please pace yourself for a long haul. The staff will recognise when your mum is actively dying and, believe me, it won't be over in a few minutes - you will have time to get there
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))