Try to reply to all messages here
Hi Everyone,
Read all your comments and its interesting, I will try from memory to address all the things discussed if I can. Maybe also a good way of improving my memory for exercise rather then replying individually. Just a thought.
As for them asking for volunteers to go and feed patients, although this may be a good idea, but in other ways not, would these volunteers be vetted before doing this? Otherwise any old Tom Dick or Harry could go in there and if they have issues themselves could actually end up causing more harm to the patient. Not everybody has caring skills. When the nurse said I could feed my Dad which I had never done before, as I have no children, I wasn't sure how much to give him or nothing. and then thought, what if I hurt him with the fork or something in his mouth so was a bit nervous of doing this at first to be honest.
I got used to doing it. But volunteers coming in and doing this, they should remember, they are not the volunteers parents so they may not be so considerate with a stranger. It angers me that this country is paying out lots of money to help other countries, when sorry, but charity begins at home. What about our elderly people here. Plus also volunteers that have never been around dementia patients may not know how to respond to them and respond wrong or something.
These are Dads conditions.
Heart disease, bleed to the brain. Dementia. Back trouble, Macular degeneration in his eyes, he had skin grafting years ago when he was young and was burned with tar. Skin grafting on his body, He had a hernia quite a few years ago as well. And now this hip operation. So he has been through a lot really over the years. Trying to think if I left anything out on this part.
My Mother died when I was 16 myself and I am only child so makes it even harder really. My Mother was also very sick and when I reached 10 she had a nasty stroke and got worse over time, she would pass out and collapse and I would have to deal with it as a child, as my Father was always at work. So life has not exactly been a bundle of laughs for me really, but I just learned to get on with it. Cause I really had no choice.
Plus I live quite far from him as well. Have an unsupported family as well his side. They don't really care. Put it this way, my cousin was rowing with me on FB about really stupid things when my Dads in hospital which she knows, I said to her, not once have you even asked how he is you selfish cow.
He originally was living in a care home before he went into hospital, he fell in his room at the care home and broke his hip, thats how it all started. The hospital is a long way away from where I live so its not easy and cant visit him every day as cant afford the travel costs. But my uncle lives near the hospital so we take it in turns.
When Dad first went in I got to speak to the doctor, which is rare these days, but thats cause I go before visiting hours which is late in afternoon and I told them I cant come that late from my distance so I come in the morning which helps them as I can help Dad to eat his dinner then, which saves them having to do this. The doctor told me about his broken hip and his concerned of Dads other illnesses and the affects of this. He was very good to explain all. I have only met one or two nurses on Dads ward so cant comment on their performance, but the ones I have seen are friendly enough. I told nurse my Dad couldn't feel his hand and she came over and looked at it, he has just been laying on it really.
But I do feel they need to keep a better eye on dementia patients though and also understand they are short staffed. I cant be there all the time to check stuff like spilt tea on his blanket, or stop him from trying to walk off and stuff like that. or to feed him. He already only weighed 8st.7lbs when he was in the care home but they were gradually getting him to eat more, but now he in hospital his weight will probably drop even lower. And the size of the meals are very very small as well. It would not even fill up a child. I thought of taking food in there but he probably would not eat it. My friend took him some fruit juice in. They say to me, he is managing to eat himself but if this is so true, why is it when I have visited him he has struggled to use the knife and fork then? Is it a cover up to make me think he is managing or something.
Once he ok and ready to leave, I dont know whats going to happen, whether he will be able to return back to the care home now as if they can meet his needs or whether he will need a nursing home. It would be good if he can return back there as he was settled in there, keep moving him to new strange places will mess up his head even worse.
I think I have covered stuff here. any more comments welcome
Lin x
