The dreaded call

[lilysmybabypup]

Hi Sunbell,
Just a hello to say you're in my thoughts, hope you're getting more sleep. Caring staff and beauty are both such comfort, I hope your mum is resting well and feeling comfortable. The oz contingent is here if you should feel wakeful overnight.
Stephanie, xxx

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you and your m Sunbell x

 

[Hair Twiddler]

Hope that you are resting - charging your batteries. All best wishes. Twiddler

 

[Noorza]

I've just found your thread, had a busy few days. I hope your Mum is still pain free and sleeping, and you are taking care of yourself.

 

[Sunbell]

Thank you everyone again for kind thoughts.

Mum still with us, don't know where she is finding the strength. Just could not waken her this afternoon no matter what. Carers came to change her and put some cooler bedding on as she was very clammy. Then there was a bit of response and managed to give her a few sips of water and got a big smile from her. After about 10 minutes she drifted off again.

All meds have been stopped now which she was previously taking but she doesn't seem in any distress but nursing staff have everything there ready for her if it is needed. Tried some jelly at teatime but she just took a couple of bits off the edge of the spoon and then shook her head. Nurse said just to offer it and leave it if she refuses. I do not believe in trying to force food when it is not wanted.

Tonight she has just slept, again eyes partly open, so I left about 10p.m. with an absolute pounding headache so going to try relax a bit. I'll be back in the morning, if not before.

Take care TP friends and wish you all a peaceful night.

Love Sunbell xx

 

[CeliaW]

A tough day for you Sunbell but good to hear that your Mum doesn't seem in any pain or distress.

I hope you get a good nights rest and your headache goes. Do you have any essential oil of lavender you can put on your pillow to help the headache go and you to sleep?

Take care

Hugs
xx

 

[Sunbell]

Yes Celia I have some actually, never thought of that. I will find it out in my drawer and give it a go. Thanks for the idea.

Love Sunbell xx

 

[Eternity]

Hope you get a good night's sleep and your headache goes.

It's lovely your mum gave you a big smile today

x

 

[Mamsgirl]

Sleep is exactly what you need Sunbell and I'm willing you to be snoring like a dragon as I write this. Beautiful to read about your dear Mum smiling, sounds as though all she needs is the love of her daughter at this stage of her journey.
Sending hugs and wishes for strength (and no more headaches!),
Toni x

 

[Saffie]

Only now catching up. I'm so very sorry Sunbell, this is such a very sad and hard time for you. With your husband being ill too, it must be extremely draining for you.
Your mother seems to be in a good place with lots of care around. I hope that she remains calm and peaceful- it is what we all would wish for at our parting. XXX

 

[tarababe]

Sunbell, my heart goes out to you as I was in the same position not so long ago, only my mum was in hospital. Its is so physically and emotionally draining and I don't really know how to help with that because you will do what you have to for your peace of mind. I was lucky my husband was with me all the time towards the end, as I don't know how I could have coped with out him. My mums eyes remained open and that scared me, but she did seem peaceful even if not responsive at all.

Yes, how long is a piece of string and how they can keep going for so long is beyond me too. I won't say try to take care of yourself, because I'm sure you'll be thinking only of your dear mum. They say that they are aware of your presence even if she thinks you are her mum, that must be comforting for her. Just do what you feel is right for her, be there for her and have no regrets as you have and will be doing all you can for her.

I will be wishing you comfort and am passing you a vertual hug as you go through this awful and difficult time.

 

[Sunbell]

Thanks again everyone for kind messages.

This morning mum seemed a bit alert, she was speaking to me (it was all gobble-de-gook) but just kept answering what I guessed to be appropriate without questioning. Then she drifted off until about 1.30 when I offered her food, she just tasted a couple of bits of custard then didn't want any more. Kept having sips of juice and regular mouth sponging. The staff log everything on a chart.

Nurse kept coming to check her and change her then off back to sleep she would go.

Tonight she has been fiddling with her bed sheet a lot and reaching into the air as if grabbing something. I left at 8.30 as my husband not been too great today so was worried about him too. The care home will ring me if there is any change. All was o.k. when I got home.

Nice relaxing shower and sister-in-law had made my tea and left it in fridge so that was very kind of her.

Well, we will see what tomorrow brings, peace and tranquility for mum I hope.

Love Sunbell xx

 

[CeliaW]

Hi Sunbell - you must feel in limbo land - not knowing what is happening next!

I wish you a peaceful night, if that is possible xx

 

[Sunbell]

Hi TP friends,

Just a little update on mum. I have been with her since early this morning.

At 8a.m. when she had her wash etc. there was a bit of recognition but very vague. Since then she has been in a deep sleep and even tightened her lips when I tried to moisten her mouth with the sponges. She seems very peaceful at the moment but nurse has said any signs of agitation or pain and they have the meds ready to deal with it.

Just come home to check all is o.k. here and have a long shower. My mobile is on hand if I am needed urgently.

Don't know where my darling mum is getting her strength from, how long nobody knows. I feel so sad and empty.

Love Sunbell xx

 

[Izzy]

Oh my goodness. You must be totally drained. Thinking of you and your mum. x

 

[tarababe]

I know what you are going through Sunbell. You won't know what to do with yourself, one minute wanting this to be over for your mum and then feeling guilty for thinking that. Every time the phone goes your heart must stop in case it's about your mum. It's horrendous and there is nothing anyone can say that will make it better for you, only time I'm afraid.

Try to look after yourself, if you can, but do what your heart tells you to do. If you want to be with your mum, then be there. If you can't and find it to distressing, then leave, even if just for a break. It's hard at the time to know what to do, but you will know what's right for you.

I wish I could say it will be ok.

Thinking of you. x

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Sunbell, it can be as though the world is suspended, surreal. It's good that you're getting some shower time, hope you are also getting sleep. This time with your mum will be a treasure and comfort in later days.
Just sitting and holding her hand, or stroking her brow and whispering loving words of comfort, they are the greatest gift you can give your mum now.
Wishing you strength, and peace to your mum.
Stephanie, xxx

 

[tarababe]

Just popped on to see how you were Sunbell. I'm thinking of you and willing you strength at this time. x

 

[LYN T]

Hi Sunbell

I hope you got some rest last night and your Mum is so being peaceful. Take care of yourself. Your Mum is so lucky to have you.

Love from Lyn T

 

[Sunbell]

Well, I don't know if I am on this earth or Fullers today!

What a rollercoaster of a day. This morning mum was completely out of it again then suddenly out of the blue she seemed to waken up with a right start. She scared me half to death.

Then she started talking, all gobble-de-gook, but talking just the same. She then accepted a few small spoons of custard at lunchtime and sips of lemonade. She was convinced that I wasn't her daughter because daughters hair was not the colour of mine! Oh dear, explained that I have had it dyed this colour for years, ever since I went grey but she wasn.t convinced poor darling. She was like this all afternoon and then about 4.30 she began to drift in and out of sleep and when I left about 7p.m. she was very drowsy.

It confuses me terribly and is playing havoc with my emotions. Yesterday I didn't think she would see the night through, not accepting food, drink or mouth care and here she is today letting us know who is the boss

Anyway, I will have to take it a day at a time, don't really know what is going on, hope she is still a bit alert in the morning but who knows, just have to hope. It is such a whirlwind of different emotions, I really don't know what to think.

Another night of worry but I think you get used to it.

Love Sunbell xx