Today the day I have been dreading yet needing if that doesn't sound strange has come. Thisafternoon Dad goes into a care home for 2 weeks respite care. This is his first time away from Mum in nearly 60 years. He is in his 7th year of dementia and after a recent move of areas we managed to get a referral, within 10 days mum (or dad?) was assigned a social worker and he visited on Monday and within 2 days Dad is off to be assessed and to get his medication sorted. I have mixed feelings, I know I was the main instigator of this move, to that end I feel terribly sad and guilty. Will mum cope? she is very up beat at the moment because she has been ill herself and needs this break to recouperate but how will dad cope. He is (and always has been if I am honest) used to getting his own way and now with the condition he can be very aggressive if stopped from doing exactly what he wants. Last night I dreamt he was strapped in a chair and I was watching but could not stop them doing it to him - I KNOW that sounds dramatic but i think we have been on this treadmill of coping and caring and now others are involved I am panicing inside that he will not cope with the transition then he could be worse when he gets home. How do you know that when you've gone they will give him the care he needs and attention he demands? I feel sick with nerves. I am sure everyone who reads this will have had some of these thoughts - how do you cope? please help