The dangers of respite

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
Dear folks have not got a clue what to do with myself with mum in respite. Decided to wax my legs as I am resembling an Alsatian . Ended up doing this with the aid of a bottle of red wine, as wax hardened quicker than expected I waxed myself to a chair. Whilst stuck there waiting to get enough wine into me so that the pain of extracting myself from said chair wouldn't cause me to pass out, I ended up writing a rather long winded dirty ditty.
Come back mother, all is forgiven. The devil really does find work for idle carer's hands!
Sorry folks, just had to share.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Yes, one does feel at rather a loose end!

I'm glad you didn't soak your legs in the wine and drink the wax; you'd have ended up as a fragrant walking candle.

Keep spirits up!
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear Magic,

'Keep your spirits up'? I think Brucie actually means 'stay happy' rather than substitute the red wine for Scotch. I'm not sure actually. Both might be a very good idea.

I just roared with laughter about the Magic Candle. The mind boggles...!!! That was simply wonderful.

Just relax there Magic. Don't go into house cleaning or ironing frenzies will you? It's no guilt week and don't you dare do anything more than have a really good rest.

Jude
 
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Chesca

Guest
Magic

Bejeez, waxing? And whilst imbibing? You've got some resolve, got to hand it to you. Why d'ya think I holiday in the Alps during winter with Hermits Are Us, no lighting and its so cold you don't take your clothes off for the duration!

Whilst your wondering what to do with your leisure time, thank the lord that you are not as rich as Creasus the dry cleaner. You'd have too many choices then: toyboy tonight, elegant consort, dinner at the Savoy, or a Savoy from the chippy. Count your blessings that each day you would have to beauty parlour it to the point you'd be throwing down your false bits to a date - you know the joke. This happened to a rather bosomly-inferior friend of mine who insisted on wearing her 'jellies' in her flimsies to enhance her rib cage. When a rather drunken admirer leered at her that his hand was rather drawn to her chest, so to speak, (or give us a feel of yer xxxx) down she dipped into the cavity and withdrawing a 'jellie' placed it in his hand with a 'help yourself'. He all but fell off the bar stool. I did fall of mine. Some wedding! I know how to live. Anyway, where was I? You've got me scundered!

Write a novel, phone a sex line, whistle at a passing goodlooker from behind a curtain. You're in serious need of lessons in sloth. Enjoy yourself tonight and if you're that fed up, try waxing the cat. It'll save on next week's hoovering!

With envious curl of lip
Chesca
 
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Chesca

Guest
Dear Magic

Happy birthday to Rhett and hope you both have a ball tonight. Thinking of you.

Good to hear you're in fine form and writing. When do we get to read the ditty?

Lotsa
Chesca
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
With a disastrous waxing behind her,
Magic went out for a blinder,
To get mortally drunk
Entertaining her hunk
As he's 40, she couldn't be kinder.


Have a good one!
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Not last night but the night before,
three little monkeys came to the door.
One had a fiddle,
One had a drum,
One had a pancake stuck to his bum!

Only joking it's not true

best of everything
Norman:eek:
 

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
You guys are a truly mental lot, I love it.

Had a great time last nite was sick and everything!

Chesca, would love to post long winded ditty but fear the mods would brand me an outcast, delete my post and circulate my photo to carer's groups to bar admitance.
 

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
Brucie, would that be old Stephen Ladyboy at all?
Will be heavin' to Stephen immediately.

They will keep mum in respite until Monday, it seems to be working out ok so far. But amazingly I'm still really exhausted and a bit tearful. There's just no pleasin' some carers!

MIght cut down on the drinking and waxing to conserve energy.
 
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Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
An old [and now politically incorrect saying] went as follows:

If you are feeling exhausted from wine, women and song, then give up singing....

Just adapt to suit yourself..

Jude
 
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Chesca

Guest
Romnan

Quite enjoy a crepe meself! Eat the food and enjoy the band! Cheers

Chesca
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
hechsa
Hd two brandies,I think,
Got to get me ed down before the monkeys get in the bed.
Meet me on the pier ed and we'll have a day in Berkened or have a tot in the Adelphi,tara
Love
Norman
 
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Chesca

Guest
romna

What size woz the bucket yer brandies woz in. I'm norrahavvin no questionable tots with youz, youz've been listenin' to them lions again. Must be like a bleedin' menagerie in your flock box! See yer down the pivvy!
Casheu
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dearest Cashew and Normal,

Kenapa anda tak bisa bahasa Ingerris lagi? Itu sulit sekali pada orang lain dari selatan - kami tak bisa menggerti ini?

This is Indonesian for 'how come you guys can't speak English any more and have gone into 'local speak'. It's very difficult for us southerners to understand? Mind you, it does sound a whole lot more interesting....

What's a .... I've forgotten the term. Will have to post and go back [not passing Go or collecting £200]

Jude
 
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