1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

The dangers of respite

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Mjaqmac, Aug 25, 2004.

  1. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    Dear folks have not got a clue what to do with myself with mum in respite. Decided to wax my legs as I am resembling an Alsatian . Ended up doing this with the aid of a bottle of red wine, as wax hardened quicker than expected I waxed myself to a chair. Whilst stuck there waiting to get enough wine into me so that the pain of extracting myself from said chair wouldn't cause me to pass out, I ended up writing a rather long winded dirty ditty.
    Come back mother, all is forgiven. The devil really does find work for idle carer's hands!
    Sorry folks, just had to share.
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Yes, one does feel at rather a loose end!

    I'm glad you didn't soak your legs in the wine and drink the wax; you'd have ended up as a fragrant walking candle.

    Keep spirits up!
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Magic,

    'Keep your spirits up'? I think Brucie actually means 'stay happy' rather than substitute the red wine for Scotch. I'm not sure actually. Both might be a very good idea.

    I just roared with laughter about the Magic Candle. The mind boggles...!!! That was simply wonderful.

    Just relax there Magic. Don't go into house cleaning or ironing frenzies will you? It's no guilt week and don't you dare do anything more than have a really good rest.

    Jude
     
  4. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Magic

    Bejeez, waxing? And whilst imbibing? You've got some resolve, got to hand it to you. Why d'ya think I holiday in the Alps during winter with Hermits Are Us, no lighting and its so cold you don't take your clothes off for the duration!

    Whilst your wondering what to do with your leisure time, thank the lord that you are not as rich as Creasus the dry cleaner. You'd have too many choices then: toyboy tonight, elegant consort, dinner at the Savoy, or a Savoy from the chippy. Count your blessings that each day you would have to beauty parlour it to the point you'd be throwing down your false bits to a date - you know the joke. This happened to a rather bosomly-inferior friend of mine who insisted on wearing her 'jellies' in her flimsies to enhance her rib cage. When a rather drunken admirer leered at her that his hand was rather drawn to her chest, so to speak, (or give us a feel of yer xxxx) down she dipped into the cavity and withdrawing a 'jellie' placed it in his hand with a 'help yourself'. He all but fell off the bar stool. I did fall of mine. Some wedding! I know how to live. Anyway, where was I? You've got me scundered!

    Write a novel, phone a sex line, whistle at a passing goodlooker from behind a curtain. You're in serious need of lessons in sloth. Enjoy yourself tonight and if you're that fed up, try waxing the cat. It'll save on next week's hoovering!

    With envious curl of lip
    Chesca
     
  5. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Magic

    Happy birthday to Rhett and hope you both have a ball tonight. Thinking of you.

    Good to hear you're in fine form and writing. When do we get to read the ditty?

    Lotsa
    Chesca
     
  6. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    With a disastrous waxing behind her,
    Magic went out for a blinder,
    To get mortally drunk
    Entertaining her hunk
    As he's 40, she couldn't be kinder.


    Have a good one!
     
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Not last night but the night before,
    three little monkeys came to the door.
    One had a fiddle,
    One had a drum,
    One had a pancake stuck to his bum!

    Only joking it's not true

    best of everything
    Norman:eek:
     
  8. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    You guys are a truly mental lot, I love it.

    Had a great time last nite was sick and everything!

    Chesca, would love to post long winded ditty but fear the mods would brand me an outcast, delete my post and circulate my photo to carer's groups to bar admitance.
     
  9. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Magic,

    Send it to me as a PM if you're worried about the content.

    Jude
     
  10. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Please post sick to a certain government minister
     
  11. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    #11 Mjaqmac, Aug 26, 2004
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2004
    Brucie, would that be old Stephen Ladyboy at all?
    Will be heavin' to Stephen immediately.

    They will keep mum in respite until Monday, it seems to be working out ok so far. But amazingly I'm still really exhausted and a bit tearful. There's just no pleasin' some carers!

    MIght cut down on the drinking and waxing to conserve energy.
     
  12. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    #12 Jude, Aug 26, 2004
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2004
    An old [and now politically incorrect saying] went as follows:

    If you are feeling exhausted from wine, women and song, then give up singing....

    Just adapt to suit yourself..

    Jude
     
  13. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Those bloody monkeys have been back again,I'll have to go and have another brandy.
    NO rMAN
     
  14. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Romnan

    Quite enjoy a crepe meself! Eat the food and enjoy the band! Cheers

    Chesca
     
  15. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    hechsa
    Hd two brandies,I think,
    Got to get me ed down before the monkeys get in the bed.
    Meet me on the pier ed and we'll have a day in Berkened or have a tot in the Adelphi,tara
    Love
    Norman
     
  16. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    romna

    What size woz the bucket yer brandies woz in. I'm norrahavvin no questionable tots with youz, youz've been listenin' to them lions again. Must be like a bleedin' menagerie in your flock box! See yer down the pivvy!
    Casheu
     
  17. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    #17 Jude, Aug 27, 2004
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2004
    Dearest Cashew and Normal,

    Kenapa anda tak bisa bahasa Ingerris lagi? Itu sulit sekali pada orang lain dari selatan - kami tak bisa menggerti ini?

    This is Indonesian for 'how come you guys can't speak English any more and have gone into 'local speak'. It's very difficult for us southerners to understand? Mind you, it does sound a whole lot more interesting....

    What's a .... I've forgotten the term. Will have to post and go back [not passing Go or collecting £200]

    Jude
     
  18. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Chesca
    I ain't got no flock box,only an old donkey's breakfast from the last floatin rust bucket.
    Norman
     
  19. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    What's a pivvy? Do tell.

    Jude
     
  20. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Also, what on earth is a flock box? I'm not even going to hazard a guess here.

    Jude
     

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