Magic
Bejeez, waxing? And whilst imbibing? You've got some resolve, got to hand it to you. Why d'ya think I holiday in the Alps during winter with Hermits Are Us, no lighting and its so cold you don't take your clothes off for the duration!
Whilst your wondering what to do with your leisure time, thank the lord that you are not as rich as Creasus the dry cleaner. You'd have too many choices then: toyboy tonight, elegant consort, dinner at the Savoy, or a Savoy from the chippy. Count your blessings that each day you would have to beauty parlour it to the point you'd be throwing down your false bits to a date - you know the joke. This happened to a rather bosomly-inferior friend of mine who insisted on wearing her 'jellies' in her flimsies to enhance her rib cage. When a rather drunken admirer leered at her that his hand was rather drawn to her chest, so to speak, (or give us a feel of yer xxxx) down she dipped into the cavity and withdrawing a 'jellie' placed it in his hand with a 'help yourself'. He all but fell off the bar stool. I did fall of mine. Some wedding! I know how to live. Anyway, where was I? You've got me scundered!
Write a novel, phone a sex line, whistle at a passing goodlooker from behind a curtain. You're in serious need of lessons in sloth. Enjoy yourself tonight and if you're that fed up, try waxing the cat. It'll save on next week's hoovering!
With envious curl of lip
Chesca