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The crisis has arrived - what now?

Alibear

Registered User
Jun 12, 2018
30
Devon
Hi everyone. I am the main carer for my Mum who has Alzheimers and vascular dementia. We have been ticking along for almost 2 years now with things very stable, just minor deterioration. Mum lives alone just up the road from us and we decided about a week ago that the time had come where we should modify her bungalow so we could move in to care for her constantly in the next couple of months while she still had some quality of life.
Thursday morning i discovered that a crisis had occured during the night - a possible TIA? I set about trying to clean Mum up while my husband phoned 999. She was very jumbled in speech, didn't seem to understand any of our questions or requests and was extremely confused.
We were taken to hospital and spent about 6 hours in a cubicle in A&E where a few tests were done, a CT scan then a chest x-ray (wow how tricky is it to try to keep a PWD entertained for that long in a confined space?!!) Then she was finally admitted to a ward and given a diagnosis of a possible stroke.
The care we are witnessing seems quite disorganised and we have to keep repeating to everyone how drastic the change in Mum is - from being incontinent, being unable to communicate, or carry out simple tasks - only a week ago she got on a bus to the local town, went to M&S and bought 2 jumpers then came home again unaccompanied!
Sadly the "stroke" has also resulted in agitation and apparently she got physical with nurses trying to help with personal care this morning which is very new.
I suppose her next move sadly will be to a care home now- there is no way we could take on this level of care (i have 2 boys aged 11 & 13 and it would be unfair on them).
We now await an MRI scan when she is calm enough to have one. And i suppose we need to look at care homes - where to start though? What will her needs be? And what kind of care will be required? ? ? ?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,606
South coast
Im sorry the crisis has come @Alibear . For the time being you will have to sit tight and wait and see. Your mum might regain some function, so it is too early to start to think about what level of care she needs. Before discharge the hospital should make sure that she would be dischsrged to a safe environment, so if they talk about discharge you must make it very clear that you cannot look after her with these levels of need. Ask to speak to the hospital SW who will be able to help with placement. When mum had a TIA (mini stroke) she went from the hospital to a care home for 6 weeks reablement to see what her needs would be after this time. At the end of it there was a Best Interest Meeting to decide what level of care mum required and where the best place for her to be was.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,039
Nottinghamshire
I’m sorry to hear about your mum’s sudden deterioration @Alibear . The same thing happened to my mum and her sister. My aunt made quite a good recovery after her TIA mum not so much after her stroke so, as @canary says you have to sit tight for now and see how well your mum recovers.
 

Alibear

Registered User
Jun 12, 2018
30
Devon
Thanks @canary and @Bunpoots - i presume its the vascular dementia just taking another piece of my dear Mum away from us. These things always come as a shock when you're plodding along minding your own business. The communication within the hospital seems so lacking its a bit of a worry - i will stand my ground rest assured though - i've read enough on here to know thats essential. Xx
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,039
Nottinghamshire
Keep posting @Alibear . I found the support on here invaluable while my dad was in hospital and I needed to keep him there to find somewhere safe for him to be discharged to. Hopefully your mum will make a good recovery.
 

Alibear

Registered User
Jun 12, 2018
30
Devon
Visited Mum again today and were greeted with yet more new faces on the ward - all asking the same questions about Mums present condition and how it varies from her previous state. The MRI still hasn't been done as its the weekend, but at least shes eating and appears not to be too agitated or anxious. "Delirium" was mentioned in relation to the speech/comprehension & communication problem we now witness but still have no actual diagnosis - fingers crossed we will get some contact from an actual doctor tomorrow when they are back at work?!
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
112
Mum had this.
The hospital called it delirium.
The brain scan should show what damage has been done.
presumably they did one when she was diagnosed so they will be able to compare.
Mum could not hold a cup of tea and didn't know who we were, but she recovered well, after a few weeks.
Do not write off your mum yet. They could consider rehab. A care package could be arranged.
Apply for higher rate attendance allowance.
when or if she returns home she may well be entitled to free council tax. All that money could be put into paying for someone other than yourself to care for her.
 

Alibear

Registered User
Jun 12, 2018
30
Devon
Thanks @Weasell we have managed to speak to more staff from the stroke ward today and answered lots of their questions so that hopefully they have a better picture of Mum from before - they said an MRI is imminent and i have asked to see that so we have an idea of whats happening. For now we will wait to see what the scan offers up and hope that there is an improvement for her.