The Care Home say they may have to call Police


Registered User
Oct 2, 2005
North Wales
Hello. This is the first time that I have used Talking Point, and, as you may guess from my title, things have recently taken a dramatic turn for the worse, leaving us bewildered and unsure of where to turn.
Situation: Mother, aged 88, lost her sight gradually over a period of 20 years (glaucoma.) About 4 years ago, she began to "see" quite vivid experiences, long-lasting, persisting episodically over a period of weeks. These became more like nightmares and eventually she was unable to stay in her own home. After living with self and husband for about 3 months, she went into a Residential Home at her own request. She has been there for two years now. The Home has ben very good and we have no complaints about their care.
However, her ability to understand that the hallucinations are not real has receded. Within the last four months, she has begun to insist that her version of the world is the real one. She has become violent at times (throwing shoes at people she "sees" who are annoying her, but of course, hurting other residents who are themselves v frail. She has barricaded herself in her room, shouted abuse, wandered around (dangerous as her blindness is complete) at night and gone into other bedrooms. Her old character, a humorous, tolerant, practical lady, always laughing, seems to have vanished.
Psychiatrists and Community psychiatric nurse have assessed her on several occasions, asking her questions from a clipboard (about her past, spell "walk" backwards, count backwards in threes etc etc.) All these she answers perfectly. Everything she relates sounds quite sensible until you listen carefully or compare it with reality (tunnels from the home to our house 13 miles away, to her paternal relatives old home on the continent etc etc)
Now the people who care for her are at their wits' end. The doctor says it is a Social Services Problem; the Social Services, when they can be reached at all, say it is a medical problem. She needs expert care. Is there anything we can do?
Last edited:


Registered User
Sep 26, 2005
Hi there. Your situation sounds a real worry. I can understand how the home might worry your Mum's behaviour is of concern for other residents but what do they think the police will do ? I suggest you push again for a medical review - preferably with the Consultant Psychiatrist. The CPNs should be able to help with this. Could you list the symptoms you see for them. If possible be at the home when they assess Mum or at least voice your concerns (again).
Hope you make a break through here. Best wishes. Finnian


Registered User
Mar 23, 2005
Hi Athry,

Welcome to Talking Point.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation that has brought about your first posting here. Others will no doubt have more to add in the next day or so, but here are a few quick thoughts.

It does sound like your mother's needs might have changed from those she had when she originally entered the residential home. If the current home can't cope, even with the best possible medical intervetnion re:medication, then perhaps it is time to look for a different home. This decision has to be informed by views of the staff of the current home, your mother's doctors and her social worker (essential of course if the local authority is contributing to the care home costs).

I would suggest calling the Alzheimer's Society Helpline:

If it is necessary for you to find a new care home that is licensed to care for people with dementia (most general residential homes are not, though they can get licenses to care for specific named individuals who have developed dementia whilst in the home's care) you may want to take a look at the Commision for Social Care Inspection's web site. They have a facility that allows you to search for care homes:

Take care,



Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
West Sussex
Hi Athry, a worrying time for you. It does sound as if your Mum needs to be re-assessed. The doctor should be able to arrange this if you request it. I am sure the home will back you in the need to do this. If you do need to move your Mum because her needs have changed, then like Sandy says, an EMI home would be required now. Good luck, let us know how you get on please. Love She. XX


Registered User
Aug 23, 2005
Trying to help

Dear Athry

Could it be that your Mum's medication needs to be re-looked at.

Perhaps you could talk to the CPN about the possibility of her being admitted into an Assessment Centre.

At one point when Dad was hallucinating and getting aggressive with Mum he ended up being sectioned - it was not a very nice time!

I'm not even sure if it would be an option but if there is such an Assessment Centre near to you and if it's a good one where they can review the drugs and monitor your Mum 24 hours a day - maybe it could prevent a worse situation.

To be honest, when Dad was in the Centre it was not very pleasant but Mum stayed with him during the days and I kept on top of everything they were doing and checking with the Parkinsons Disease society every step of the way to make sure all was making some kind of sense - because unfortunately, some Doctors do have a tendency to make more than one change at a time - how on earth they expect to know what reaction relates to what change I really don't know.

At the end of 6 months - we got Dad back and he had a couple of reasonably good years at home with Mum before he died.

This may seem a stupid suggestion but may be not!



Registered User
Oct 2, 2005
North Wales
Thanks for all your help everyone.

I followed the advice that you gave me and we succeeded in getting a meeting of all those concerned - doctor, care home manager, social worker and family. They really seemed to take notice of our feedback and changed medication straight away. There are efforts to provide more activities to help to avoid frustration. Mum has now asked to be moved, largely because of things that are not really happening (an illusory man who is "stealing her shoes") and this may help in achieving a change of level of care - though her Residential Home carers really have tried hard and I'm sorry we all have to start again at a new place.
But, - thank you all so much. I really didn't know what steps to take next, and you put me on the right track. It was also very helpful to read your experiences. Knowing that other people have been at this point and got through it has been very reassuring. All the best to all of you, Athry.


Registered User
Sep 16, 2005
Regarding another home


In my experience, (although it is an Australian experience) different homes have different capabilities and this is not necessarily something that is measured by any group or organisation. If the proposals put forward in your latest meeting doesn't work it may just be that your Mum's wish to move elsewhere will be the right way forward.

Earlier this year the home my Dad was at stated that they could no longer cope with him and we as his family absolutely freaked, :eek: because if a home couldn't look after him who the heck could??!! We definetly couldn't anymore.

Fortunately upon exploration of others homes in the area we discovered one that wasn't scared of the prospect of looking after Dad, they don't need to sedate him or anything, I'm not sure why they are more capable but they are...they have no greater advertised qualifications than the other home, in fact originally that weren't even on the hospital list of homes that would be suitable (!), but they obviously have a way of doing things that works for people like my Dad. I hope you are able to find a similar place. Dad is so much calmer and happier these days, its wonderful.

Good luck
Last edited: