The care home are refusing to let mum stay

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by lilaclady, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. lilaclady

    lilaclady Registered User

    Apr 11, 2016
    53
    I have had a call this morning to say that the care home feel that they can't keep mum after next sunday - apparently last night she pulled 5 other residents from their beds and a paramedic had to be called for one for a skin tear. They feel mum needs a smaller home with a higher ratio of night staff to ensure this doesn't happen - they don't think she is doing this to be nasty but that she cannot distinguish between night and day and wants them to get up and about.

    What is my next step ? Mum has no social worker and is self funding - is it down to me and my brother to find a new home? She has never been assessed so I don't even really know what her needs are?
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,713
    Yorkshire
    hi lilaclady
    what a worry!
    I do think you need to contact her Local Authority Adult Services and her GP and anyone else involved eg a consultant, CPN ... today and let them know what position you have been put in - it may be that 1-to-1 support can be put in place (I've seen this happen in dad's home)
    do also chat with the manager as surely they will have some useful contacts
    I guess if the home can't/won't lock the doors to resident's rooms, it's difficult for the staff to keep your mum from wandering into others' rooms - personally, though, I think the staff in my dad's care home would be finding ways to cope - it may be a signal that the home isn't the best place for your mum (that she managed to pull so many from their beds before being stopped is a concern) and a move will be in her best interest, though asking for her to move out so quickly is very unhelpful
    wish I could think of more
    best wishes
     
  3. Penmon79

    Penmon79 Registered User

    Oct 24, 2016
    103
    North Wales
    Being self-funding is not a bar to having a Social Services assessment of your mother's needs. You really do need to contact them as soon as possible.
     
  4. Frederic H

    Frederic H Registered User

    Apr 1, 2015
    75
    Devon
    Hi Lilalady
    I was in exactly the same position.but you cannot find new homes just like that so SS arranged for a 1-1 carer to be with my o/h from 8am to 8 pm cost £1400 per week
    Happily we found a nursing home after a week, but I really feel for you,when it happened to me it was without doubt the worst week of my life
    I really hope you find a solution rapidly.
     
  5. dottyd

    dottyd Registered User

    Jan 22, 2011
    1,066
    n.e.
    To me it sounds like she's triggered Chc funding.

    My mum was self funding and was aggressive. The ch could no longer cope.
    After a few incidents she had a meeting using a dst tool where a nh was deemed necessary.

    At the meeting and this is where you need to be clued up yourself although I suspect the ch staff will fight to get her out which all helps your case then she should meet the criteria for chc funding and you need to look for a nursing home which is staffed by mental health nurses.

    Mum was much happier in the nh for the last 8 months of her life

    You need to watch the prof Luke Clements video...several times.
     
  6. lilaclady

    lilaclady Registered User

    Apr 11, 2016
    53
    ok - the latest is that we have a social worker !!! She has assessed mum and mum no longer has capacity so we can now use our power of attorney. She is taking over the job of finding mum a care home place, we are welcome to look ourselves but mum needs a specialist dementia unit and the social worker should be better experienced at placing mum than us.

    The care home are still wanting mum out on Sunday despite them now charging us £15 an hour 10pm till 7am each night for a one to one to watch over mum. The social worker has told the care home manager that she is being unreasonable to expect us to move mum by sunday given the time of year and the short notice so mum will be staying where she is until social services can find a suitable place.

    The mental health doctor came and assessed mum and prescribed 0.25 of risperidone to see if that helps her settle at night, not sure how she was last night as the care home manager hasn't returned my call - I suspect she is a bit put out as she wants mum out asap.

    Also my brother and i have each paid for a week of the care home fees out of our own pockets with a few to claiming it back from mums money once her bank have set us up on mums account - so we asked if future fees including the nurse fees could be invoiced to mum and we would pay once we have control over the bank account, the social worker thinks this is reasonable but again the care home manager won't agree to this - she even accused us of "dumping" mum on the care home !!

    This is ridiculous - mum has savings and a house so they will get their money - we are just low on funds ourselves!!

    The downside to all this is that mum is fairly happy where she is - likes the staff and now she will have to move - Also I can visit more often at this home but further away it will be less often.
     
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,713
    Yorkshire
    hi lilaclady
    thank goodness for a good social worker :)
    it's a shame your mum has to move, but maybe it's best done now as clearly the manager would have made this decision at some point and it's better that your mum is eventually somewhere that can provide the support she needs without putting you under pressure - what a horrible thing for her to say, especially as she's the one who has engineered this situation
    I hope the social worker continues to be so helpful; a good ally
    best wishes
     
  8. Lorna44

    Lorna44 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2016
    175
    Female
    Surrey
    Registering POA should be a simple process, I work in a Bank and the process is usually done within an hour, I'd book an appt though cos there are usually specially trained people to deal with it..... hope all goes well for you all and your mum. Happy New Year.

    Sent from my SM-G930F using Talking Point mobile app
     
  9. whitehead1976

    whitehead1976 Registered User

    Dec 22, 2016
    91
    Nottingham
    Hi After registering an LPA with the bank,how long should it take for cards to be issued etc?
     
  10. Lorna44

    Lorna44 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2016
    175
    Female
    Surrey
    #10 Lorna44, Jan 3, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2017
    Usually once registered & everything OK, cards etc should take about 5-10 working days, also the bank should be able to do any faster payments or action things immediately for you. Make sure that you take photos I.D (passport/ Driving Licence)for yourself or any other Attorney with you when you register! Lorna x

    Sent from my SM-G930F using Talking Point mobile app
     
  11. whitehead1976

    whitehead1976 Registered User

    Dec 22, 2016
    91
    Nottingham
    Thanks Lorna,I will get round to it this week,I haven't got much money in my own account as I only have carers allowance as an income so I hope it goes without a hitch x
     
  12. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    If you don't have any income other than CA, and do not have a partner (with whom you live) bringing in much money, you might be entitled to income support.
     

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