It's really hard to put into words what I'm experiencing with Alan. As you know he went for that passport interview and afterwards was really tired for a couple of days. Then he seemed to get back to normal. However, I am not sure now whether he ever did get back to normal because even I am finding it more difficult to understand what he's saying.
Also we went to a pub for lunch last week which we often use for lunch and Alan didn't want to go in there. He was trying to tell me something about it and I just thought that he fancied a change so we went somewhere else and he was fine. Then we went to the original pub for a coffee after shopping and Alan again didn't want to go in and was trying to tell me something. This time I made him come in with me because I wanted to understand what was the problem. He was trying to tell me something about a person. It's all very mixed up and I don't even know how to put it into words but in a nutshell I am wondering whether Alan is becoming paranoid Am I not understanding something that is really happening to him (perhaps something someone has said) or is Alan imagining things?? I can't imagine anyone saying anything or doing anything to him without me knowing because I can't think of an instance when Alan hasn't been with me and we only order food, eat it and leave. We don't socialise.
I have definitely noticed that Alan more and more gets the wrong end of the stick about things.
I have gone beyond thinking now that it's one of those good day/bad day things. I think something of what made the good days 'good' has now gone so our life is a little more diluted!
I know there are still lots of things that make up the 'good' but it is so scary experiencing the dilution of a person and a dilution of the good things that make up our life together.
I feel very anxious this afternoon.
Love to you all
Helen
Also we went to a pub for lunch last week which we often use for lunch and Alan didn't want to go in there. He was trying to tell me something about it and I just thought that he fancied a change so we went somewhere else and he was fine. Then we went to the original pub for a coffee after shopping and Alan again didn't want to go in and was trying to tell me something. This time I made him come in with me because I wanted to understand what was the problem. He was trying to tell me something about a person. It's all very mixed up and I don't even know how to put it into words but in a nutshell I am wondering whether Alan is becoming paranoid Am I not understanding something that is really happening to him (perhaps something someone has said) or is Alan imagining things?? I can't imagine anyone saying anything or doing anything to him without me knowing because I can't think of an instance when Alan hasn't been with me and we only order food, eat it and leave. We don't socialise.
I have definitely noticed that Alan more and more gets the wrong end of the stick about things.
I have gone beyond thinking now that it's one of those good day/bad day things. I think something of what made the good days 'good' has now gone so our life is a little more diluted!
I know there are still lots of things that make up the 'good' but it is so scary experiencing the dilution of a person and a dilution of the good things that make up our life together.
I feel very anxious this afternoon.
Love to you all
Helen