Sundowning and Should i Take Her Home?

Richard1947

Registered User
Feb 5, 2023
11
0
My Wife has Alzheimer's, The sundowning syndrome is every day and most hours from when she wakes up until she settles in bed in the Evening. Home to her is where she lived before our Marriage, This is only an hour away, Would it be helpful to take her there for a visit or would that amplify the Sundowning effect?
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,333
0
Salford
My wife originally came from SW England, moved to the NW in her late teens to become a nurse.
For years we visited her family down there regularly, many years on and she was diagnosed with early onset AZ.
At first it was fine, visit then we'd go home back "up north" until the day she wanted to stay down south.
To say the least it was upsetting for everyone present, her family asked me to consider move down and I seriously thought about doing so, however, we had good support available where we were and people in a similar position to me didn't have much good to say about the help they received in the south.
Hard one to call, have you checked out what's the available help is like in the area, memory clinic availability, hospital if needed? As I say hard one to call, can't do right for doing wrong as my mum used to say. K
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,269
0
Nottinghamshire
I don't think a visit to where your wife used to live would really help. It could be tricky if she does remember the house and thinks she still lives there for a start and also 'going home' is more a state of mind. I her mind going to where she used to live will make your wife feel less confused than she does at the moment, when of course it isn't where she is but the dementia that is causing the confusion.
Maybe make excuses such as the weather is too bad or the car needs servicing and keep on putting the visit off.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,274
0
Bury
Would it be helpful to take her there for a visit or would that amplify the Sundowning effect?
I would not, It's not going to make the wish to go home vanish, as you say it might make it more intense.
I might not be the correct home, if it is she might not recognise you expecting a younger version.
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,791
0
Hello @Richard1947 I agree that a visit to a former address is probably not going to help, and as your wife is asking to go home every day, and for almost all of the day, I wonder if you have discussed the situation with her GP or adults mental health team? The situation must be so distressing for both you and your wife and a medication review may help to alleviate the symptoms.

You need to look after yourself too as caring for someone with dementia is so hard. Do you have any help at home, so that you can take a break, if only for a short while? If you haven't already done so perhaps consider getting in touch with your local authority adult social care team and ask for a care needs assessment for your wife and a carer assessment for yourself. Details of the process are in the link below:


 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,333
0
Salford
Just a thought but is the previous home she refers to still there? The rate they've redeveloped in some areas or even refurbished might mean she wouldn't recognise it any, just the wrong colour front door, windows even might be enough to convince her. K
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,059
0
South coast
@Richard1947 - As previously mentioned the wish to "go home" is not about bricks and mortar. There are many many people up and down the country with dementia who want to "go home" to the very home they are sat in!

What they are asking for is to go back to a time and/or place before dementia where they felt safe and they feel that if they go there, then they will leave all the confusion behind - not realising that they will simply take it all with them
Just a thought but is the previous home she refers to still there?
My mum wanted to go home to her childhood home which was bombed in the war. She thought her parents and siblings (all long dead) were living there and "just waiting for her". Truly a Mission Impossible