My Wife has Alzheimer's, The sundowning syndrome is every day and most hours from when she wakes up until she settles in bed in the Evening. Home to her is where she lived before our Marriage, This is only an hour away, Would it be helpful to take her there for a visit or would that amplify the Sundowning effect?
Sundowning and Should i Take Her Home?
- Thread starter Richard1947
- Start date
My wife originally came from SW England, moved to the NW in her late teens to become a nurse.
For years we visited her family down there regularly, many years on and she was diagnosed with early onset AZ.
At first it was fine, visit then we'd go home back "up north" until the day she wanted to stay down south.
To say the least it was upsetting for everyone present, her family asked me to consider move down and I seriously thought about doing so, however, we had good support available where we were and people in a similar position to me didn't have much good to say about the help they received in the south.
Hard one to call, have you checked out what's the available help is like in the area, memory clinic availability, hospital if needed? As I say hard one to call, can't do right for doing wrong as my mum used to say. K
For years we visited her family down there regularly, many years on and she was diagnosed with early onset AZ.
At first it was fine, visit then we'd go home back "up north" until the day she wanted to stay down south.
To say the least it was upsetting for everyone present, her family asked me to consider move down and I seriously thought about doing so, however, we had good support available where we were and people in a similar position to me didn't have much good to say about the help they received in the south.
Hard one to call, have you checked out what's the available help is like in the area, memory clinic availability, hospital if needed? As I say hard one to call, can't do right for doing wrong as my mum used to say. K
I don't think a visit to where your wife used to live would really help. It could be tricky if she does remember the house and thinks she still lives there for a start and also 'going home' is more a state of mind. I her mind going to where she used to live will make your wife feel less confused than she does at the moment, when of course it isn't where she is but the dementia that is causing the confusion.
Maybe make excuses such as the weather is too bad or the car needs servicing and keep on putting the visit off.
Maybe make excuses such as the weather is too bad or the car needs servicing and keep on putting the visit off.
I would not, It's not going to make the wish to go home vanish, as you say it might make it more intense.
I might not be the correct home, if it is she might not recognise you expecting a younger version.
Hello @Richard1947 I agree that a visit to a former address is probably not going to help, and as your wife is asking to go home every day, and for almost all of the day, I wonder if you have discussed the situation with her GP or adults mental health team? The situation must be so distressing for both you and your wife and a medication review may help to alleviate the symptoms.
You need to look after yourself too as caring for someone with dementia is so hard. Do you have any help at home, so that you can take a break, if only for a short while? If you haven't already done so perhaps consider getting in touch with your local authority adult social care team and ask for a care needs assessment for your wife and a carer assessment for yourself. Details of the process are in the link below:
www.alzheimers.org.uk
You need to look after yourself too as caring for someone with dementia is so hard. Do you have any help at home, so that you can take a break, if only for a short while? If you haven't already done so perhaps consider getting in touch with your local authority adult social care team and ask for a care needs assessment for your wife and a carer assessment for yourself. Details of the process are in the link below:
The care needs assessment: support for people with dementia
This page looks at how a person with dementia can get a care assessment, who does an assessment, how they are carried out, who makes the decision, and tips for making the most of the care needs assessment. It also explains the eligibility criteria.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Just a thought but is the previous home she refers to still there? The rate they've redeveloped in some areas or even refurbished might mean she wouldn't recognise it any, just the wrong colour front door, windows even might be enough to convince her. K
@Richard1947 - As previously mentioned the wish to "go home" is not about bricks and mortar. There are many many people up and down the country with dementia who want to "go home" to the very home they are sat in!
What they are asking for is to go back to a time and/or place before dementia where they felt safe and they feel that if they go there, then they will leave all the confusion behind - not realising that they will simply take it all with them
What they are asking for is to go back to a time and/or place before dementia where they felt safe and they feel that if they go there, then they will leave all the confusion behind - not realising that they will simply take it all with them
My mum wanted to go home to her childhood home which was bombed in the war. She thought her parents and siblings (all long dead) were living there and "just waiting for her". Truly a Mission Impossible
