My sister and I help care for mum as well as take care of all their paperwork, housework, garden etc. but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that dad cannot cope much longer. Mum is anxious all the time and all the tactics we used to use to calm and pacify her no longer work. We are about 7 years since her diagnosis and dad promised her that he would never allow her to go into a care home. While none of us want this, I’m not sure how much longer we can maintain the current level of care she has from us all. We are frazzled and it’s sad to see all my dads efforts thrown back at him with each backlash she delivers. In the calmer moments, we of course know it’s the dementia talking and not our lovely mum but it’s so hard. She’s also diabetic so medication is restricted and those she could take to calm her caused problems too. Her sundowning seems to get earlier each day but we cannot even encourage her to nap in the afternoon. They are both 84 and married for 62 years but I’m not sure my dad knew just how bad things would become when he made that commitment she would always stay at home, we tried to suggest respite to give dad a proper rest but he’s putting obstacles in the way of this too. Her decline in the last 2 weeks is phenomenal, she sees me or my sister almost everyday (we both work full time) yet she accuses us of never visiting, again I know it’s the illness but still hard to hear! Not sure what more this awful disease has to throw at us! Is all this normal?