We've known there has been something wrong for a long time now, he finally agreed to have the memory tests done and he's been diagnosed with vascular dementia and alzheimer's. I'm glad we know what is wrong, but he refuses any help and won't accept the diagnosis. I'm struggling because it confirms he isn't ever coming back.
I know this isn't about me and I shouldn't make it about me, it should be about him, I need to carry on with my life as normal but in a way I feel like he has already gone which hurts me the most.
He had a big operation a week or so ago, and visiting him in hospital is really difficult. I try and be strong but I just want to burst in to tears, I try and be as up beat and positive as I can with him, as I find that always seems to help his mood, he's confused but if I go along with his stories and requests, even if he repeats himself over and over again, he seems happier. He knew who I was today but he couldn't remember my name but that's ok. I think him being somewhere unfamiliar has made things very much worse, and I'm hoping as soon as he can return home, he may settle down and be a little better. I can't even imagine how my grandma must be feeling, I just want to support them both.
I don't even know what I'm hoping to get out of this post, I just felt I needed to vent somewhere. Tonight has been a bad night, I've been upset on and off for hours and barely slept a wink. I'm worried for the future.
Thank you for listening. I hope you are all ok.
I know this isn't about me and I shouldn't make it about me, it should be about him, I need to carry on with my life as normal but in a way I feel like he has already gone which hurts me the most.
He had a big operation a week or so ago, and visiting him in hospital is really difficult. I try and be strong but I just want to burst in to tears, I try and be as up beat and positive as I can with him, as I find that always seems to help his mood, he's confused but if I go along with his stories and requests, even if he repeats himself over and over again, he seems happier. He knew who I was today but he couldn't remember my name but that's ok. I think him being somewhere unfamiliar has made things very much worse, and I'm hoping as soon as he can return home, he may settle down and be a little better. I can't even imagine how my grandma must be feeling, I just want to support them both.
I don't even know what I'm hoping to get out of this post, I just felt I needed to vent somewhere. Tonight has been a bad night, I've been upset on and off for hours and barely slept a wink. I'm worried for the future.
Thank you for listening. I hope you are all ok.