Still lost!

[lexy]

Thanks everyone, appreciate your comments... but at the moment I just can't think of any other solution to help me through this, yes I have seen my Dr and he has been brilliant. He said what I am going through is natural and because we were extremely close (mum was my world) it's going to take longer to come to terms with things, I do have some tablets to take but don't really want to become reliant on them. I could just take a few of them together and see what happens?

I am glad you have seen your doctor, I know what you mean when you say your mum was your world, so was mine. Your GP sounds very helpful and understanding. I worried when you said in your post "I could just take a few of them together and see what happens? Please don't take a few of them together, I took a "few of them together" and ended up in hospital!

Look after yourself, will be thinking of you.

Lexy

 

[Carabosse]

Lexy, that's exactly what I am thinking of when I say take a few of them together, as I don't know what else to do?

 

[lexy]

Lexy, that's exactly what I am thinking of when I say take a few of them together, as I don't know what else to do?

Hello Carabosse

Have you thought about phoning the Samaritans, I think you need someone to talk to about how bad you are feeling, they don't give advice but they do listen.

If your mum could speak to you she would say to you that she wants you to be happy and have a good life. I know how you feel, I have been where you are and I know how dreadful you are feeling. If you don't know what to do, do nothing, but don't do anything silly, it is not the answer. I can only reassure you that the pain you are feeling will lessen in time.

 

[Carabosse]

No I never thought of them... I did send an email this morning to CRUSE so will see what happens.. I doubt talking to someone would do much good, as that's all it is talking, I really want my mum back its as simple as that.

 

[lexy]

No I never thought of them... I did send an email this morning to CRUSE so will see what happens.. I doubt talking to someone would do much good, as that's all it is talking, I really want my mum back its as simple as that.

Hello Carabosse

I know, you do just want your mum back, that's all I wanted. Gradually you will begin to accept what has happened, it is a slow and painful process and I found the first few months the worst. I looked after my mum 24/7 towards the end, I did not really have a "life" and when my mum finally "went to a better place" I got my life back. The only trouble was, I didn't want it, I had been without "my life" for so long when I got it back I didn't know what to do with it and I felt completely lost just like you do. A life without her seemed pointless, but when I was sorting out some of my mum's stuff I found her prayer book and in it there was a letter to me telling me what to do after she had gone, it was written long before she got dementia in it she told me all the things she wanted for me and not to be sad and unhappy.

Our lovely mum's are now at peace, they are free from the most cruel illness I have ever known, dementia cannot torment them anymore, it cannot make them afraid, it can never hurt them again and for that, I am glad.

Be kind to yourself

Lexy

 

[CollegeGirl]

Carabosse, I'm so worried about you. PLEASE don't do anything rash. I don't know what to say to you that will help. Maybe there is nothing to say. But please don't do it. Seek help quickly.

xx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hope you are okay, Carabosse. Thinking of you tonight.

xxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Still no word from you, Carabosse. I do hope you are okay. xx

 

[lexy]

Hello Carabosse

Where are you?

Thinking of you

Lexy

 

[kd7279]

Carabosse,
Please talk to us. I lost my wife 3 weeks ago and am being helped to get through this time with the help of my friends on TP sharing my pain.
We are all in the same situation, that's why we are reading this now.
Talking really does help.
Waiting to hear from you.
Keith

 

[Carabosse]

I'm still here plodding along, crying my eyes out at the least little thing, talking about mum sets me off but its good to talk about her and hear what others thought.

 

[Anongirl]

Good to hear from you Carabosse x

 

[CollegeGirl]

Am glad to hear from you, Carabosse xx

 

[Carabosse]

Finally went through the bags of clothes mum had when in hospital, was smelling them to try and get her scent but all i got was the hospital! Haven't room to hang them up as mum had a heap of clothes (i was always buying her stuff) so they are sitting on top of a chair for now.
Also a pair of pj's are missing so need to find out where they are as i could wear them.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Glad you are keeping busy, as I think that may help. Hope you find the jimjams!

 

[lexy]

Finally went through the bags of clothes mum had when in hospital, was smelling them to try and get her scent but all i got was the hospital! Haven't room to hang them up as mum had a heap of clothes (i was always buying her stuff) so they are sitting on top of a chair for now.
Also a pair of pj's are missing so need to find out where they are as i could wear them.

Hello Carabosse

glad to hear from you. I still have a lot of my mums clothes. I try to sort them out and do what she wanted, take them to the animal charity shop, but I cannot part with them, all of her clothes has a special memory, they have all been put back in their box. Have a good cry when you want to it is one of the best medicines for you.
Look after yourself

Lexy

 

[kd7279]

Don't talk to me about womens's clothes. I have 3, yes 3, wardrobes full of Dorothy's clothes. Those that were at the NH I didn't want back. I told them to either save for those that come into care with nothing, the rest to go to a charity shop.
Those at home, well, I'm working through them slowly. Trouble is that I remember every time she bought them and first wore them, so every time I go to throw something out I go through the guilt process, but, it has to be done, albeit slowly.
Keith

 

[lexy]

Don't talk to me about womens's clothes. I have 3, yes 3, wardrobes full of Dorothy's clothes. Those that were at the NH I didn't want back. I told them to either save for those that come into care with nothing, the rest to go to a charity shop.
Those at home, well, I'm working through them slowly. Trouble is that I remember every time she bought them and first wore them, so every time I go to throw something out I go through the guilt process, but, it has to be done, albeit slowly.
Keith

Hello Keith

My sympathy to you for the loss of your dear wife, and yes, we women do tend to have quite a lot of clothes! I hope it will not be too painful for you sorting them out, no doubt the charity shop will be pleased to have them, all in a good cause.

 

[Carabosse]

I will probably keep hold of mums clothes for a long time if not forever, time will tell, but I can remember buying every single piece and where I got them from. I know its only a pair of pj's that are missing but its the principle of the thing that clothes that went in to hospital with a person should be returned, I have a feeling they will look and then say they are not there when that is the only place they could be, as they are not at home!

 

[lexy]

I will probably keep hold of mums clothes for a long time if not forever, time will tell, but I can remember buying every single piece and where I got them from. I know its only a pair of pj's that are missing but its the principle of the thing that clothes that went in to hospital with a person should be returned, I have a feeling they will look and then say they are not there when that is the only place they could be, as they are not at home!

Hello Carabosse

I had the same problem with some of my mum's clothes which got "lost" despite the fact that they were all clearly labelled with ink that could not be washed off. Sadly, I think that this seems to be quite a common problem.

Look after yourself

Lexy