I dropped into the hospital at lunchtime just to take my husband's lunch and was told that, after I'd gone last evening, he played up, dropped to the floor and refused to eat his tea. The nurse herself told me that she had threatened him with going to the main hospital to have a drip put in and a nasal gastric tube if he didn't eat. I am horrified as he had already had 1200 calories yesterday and with another fortisips that would have made 1500. He's not even moving about much so he isn't using up a lot of energy. My husband apparently said that he would never have a gastric tube because he wanted to die. The nurse said that wouldn't happen whilst he was on their ward. I know nurses get frustrated and tired but I find such a threat dreadful particularly as it was totally unnecessary. Tonight I was questioned about his original assessment - I wasn't there so I don't know but I think staff are beginning to realise that my husband's problems are linked more to the Alzheimer's than the depression and that perhaps he shouldn't be on a ward for people with depression and anxiety. My husband's consultant is now on three months sick leave and we await the arrival of a locum. So there is no-one for me to talk to at the moment except the ward manager - except he is there very rarely. If only the consultant had read my letter of concerns before placing him on this ward! Fortunately my husband heard nothing of this conversation because he was in a different room but when I went to see him he was in a dreadful mental state. He was holding his head and I thought he had a massive headache but he said not. He was in absolute mental turmoil and wanted me to go. I went but just sat outside crying my eyes out again. Sorry people - I have tried to be so strong but I am just crying as I write this. On top of that on Sunday my husband's daughter and her husband are coming to see him. 14 weeks ago she had a half hour, lucid, normal conversation with him at home. Now I doubt they'll be able to have even a few words together because of his rapid decline. I have tried to prepare her and she is in her mid-thirties and she says she doesn't need to be protected but I will just crumble and not be able to support her because I can't even control my own tears. And hers will flow uncontrollably too .............if she did but know it.
Love from Sammyb
Love from Sammyb