Soooooooooo cross (as well as sad)

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, Feb 17, 2007.

  1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Mum's best friend was 'called home' this afternoon .... first thanks all of you who already gave me sound advice and support a couple of weeks ago when I knew 'the inevitable' was just a matter of time .... mum had for the most part 'forgotten' - or never realised - how serious the situation was....

    So, this afternoon, when I get a phone call from mum, barely able to speak ..... I guessed the reason for her stammering and distress .... got there within 10 minutes to cry together ....

    But I am absolutely HOPPING that another friend saw fit to ring mum to break the news over the phone ......

    Had it been a member of the family I could understand ... in their grief I wouldn't expect them to consider how my mum might react ... how she might feel being alone taking that kind of call, devasted - even bewildered at the news.... but for someone to be entrusted to impart the news amongst friends and ... ugh!!!!

    Gets better ... mum was also asked to pass the news on to another member of their 'circle' .... the 'messenger' was another of mum's friends who has sympathised with me about looking after mum because 'her own mum had dementia' ..... :eek: some people just beggar belief ......

    Mum's Ok ... coherent .... immersed herself in the football on TV after a few hugs ... already planning who she's going to chew up and spit out at the funeral :eek:

    Soz, folks, just feel better for getting that one off my chest ....

    Love, K, x
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Oh Karen,
    Some people just have no brains!!
    Pleased that you managed to settle mum - will she remember tomorrow about her friend? Are you OK?
    Love helen
     
  3. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    oh Karen
    It's quite unbelievable isn't it?
    i can imagine how my own mum would have coped with that sort of news......she simply would have been so confused and agitated about it.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mums friend. But well done for taking mum to see her the other week.....that would have meant so much to your mum at the time and also her friend
    Love Wendy x
     
  4. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Karen

    So sorry for the loss of your mums friend...........i know you looked on her as an aunt..........so i know its tough on you, as well as coping with your mums reaction.

    I hope your mum stays settled and copes with the upset caused ...........and of course the loss of her best friend.

    Love Alex
     
  5. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hiya karen

    just caught up with this post

    im so sorry for your loss, i hope you gave the "person" who phoned your mum a flea in her ear honestly some people your poor mum.

    hope she copes with the funeral ok

    take care xxx
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,735
    Kent
    My mother and her brother, were very similar in character and never really got on. To keep peace in the family, they `suffered` each other.

    My uncle died, when my mother was in the NH. My aunt came with me to tell her. We were both dreading an outpouring of grief.

    Aunt " I have some bad news for you. Jack died."
    Mother "Well, he was never any good!"

    Sorry if this is in poor taste. Don`t know why I was reminded of it by the above posts.

    I suppose it was because of inappropriate reactions. The `friend` who broke the news to your mother, Karen, obviously didn`t have the sense she was born with.

    Love Sylvia x
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Thanks all ....

    Calmer now after a 'good weep' on my own behalf .... and a bit of reflection ....

    Sylvia ... poor taste or not, your tale brought a smile .... and made me realise that the 'bearer' of news should be equally prepared for an inappropriate reaction .... on a different day SHE may have been more upset by mum's reaction (or not) than mum .....

    Also, whatever we try to 'protect' our loved ones from - sometimes you just can't plan for every eventuality ....

    Lessons all round, I guess ......

    Love, Karen

    (Mum's doing fine today BTW - just keeps talking about visiting and the look on her friend's face when we arrived - please God, let her keep that bit of memory)
     

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