1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. afghan

    afghan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2005
    10
    Kent
    Ruth has been ill with Alzhimers for over 12 years having started symptoms when she was 44. Now 57 she will leave us shortly and her suffering will end. I have cared for her and loved her more and more as her symtoms grew worse. Now not eating or drinking I have refused to have her peg fed. It is now a matter of time. I do not know what I will do. My life revolves around her. I know I lost the Ruth we all loved so much a long time ago I guess seeing the end of her suffering will help me cope.
     
  2. Irish_Lisa

    Irish_Lisa Registered User

    Feb 24, 2007
    37
    N.Ireland
    I am so sorry that you're having to go through this but as you said, there is small comfort in the knowledge that ruth will no longer be suffering after her long journey. I still felt hurt and cried etc. when granddad passed away a few weeks ago (God I still do!) but when i was having one of my more "logical moments" during the wake i knew it was better for him this way.....he wouldn't have wanted to continue as he was. i'm thinking of you so much and hoping you find the strength within you. stay strong.

    love and hugs. xx
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,879
    Kent
    Dear Afghan,

    I`m so sorry you and Ruth are coming to the end of this ordeal. Sorry for you, because when it`s over, you will have a different ordeal of your own to face, but for Ruth, it will bring peace at last.

    12 years is a long time. I would not have had a peg fitted either. It only prolongs the inevitable agony.

    Just take care and try to find peace in these final times. It`s a lonely road, you have given all you could give, and it seems as if it`s out of your hands now.

    With love
     
  4. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. There will always be someone here for you at any time.

    Brenda
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Afghan

    So sorry that you are losing your dear wife, Ruth. You have loved and cared for her for so long, and now the end is in sight, for her, if not for you.

    It's so hard to lose a loved one, and you must be feeling so sad, but Ruth has suffered enough.

    Take time to care for yourself now. Keep posting, we're always here.

    Love,
     
  6. plastic scouser

    plastic scouser Registered User

    Hi Afghan

    We went through this with my Dad in January. He refused to eat & drink all but the odd teaspoon full, lapsed into a stupour, recovered to the point where he was chatting with Mum in the afternoon then passed away later that night from a pulmonary oedaema (?!).

    Not once during this time did we have him "force fed". The hospital did what they could to get nutrition into him in the form of a drip, but that was very little.

    I just hope that she passes on in peace as Dad did. and that you celebrate her life rather than mourn her. When we buried Dad we did it before going on to the service and it really helped not having him sat in front of us in a coffin - we were really able to celebrate his life and remember the good times and not dwell too much on the sadness.

    God be with you and give you peace during this difficult time.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.