Social Workers

simpknt

Registered User
Jan 8, 2013
47
Social Workers. Don't you just love them? Some are excellent, but others have no empathy or kindness. I have one who, quite frankly, I can't even be bothered to talk to any more. We had an update session recently when she criticised me because I dare to shout at my partner, Janet, when I'm trying to get her dressed. It's a battle to get Janet to put her clothes on the right way round and not inside out. She fights every inch of the way! Yes, I lose patience and shout at her. This woman declared that it was inappropriate for me to dress Janet and a carer should do it. This idiot should try and live with Janet for a week and see how long before her patience snaps. Janet does not want to go into a CH and I've always promised her that it would be an absolute last resort Now this woman haughtily tells me that SS will do what they think is best and what Janet wants doesn't matter. Over my dead body, lady!

I'm sorry to whinge on, but this has been making my blood boil for days now. As if my life isn't hard enough already. I need support, not sniping at my efforts. It's me that has to mop the bathroom floor because Janet mistook the waste bin for the toilet. It's me who has to get rid of used toilet paper in the bin because Janet decided the paper would block the loo. It's me who has to clean up the kitchen because she peed in the waste bin by mistake. It's me who has the disrupted nights. Janet is the great love of my life and I'll fight for and with her until my last breath. But this social worker....sitting there with her clipboard and checklist, making copious notes. I picked up a voicemail yesterday from her, asking if I wanted to talk about respite. Only from you, madam!

Thanks for allowing me to blow off some steam.

David
 

60's child

Registered User
Apr 23, 2013
588
suffolk
Hi David
I have not had much dealings, as yet with social workers in regard to my Mum who has alzheimers. I did find them very helpful when my Dad was dying of heart failure though. Very kind and supportive. I think the main problem, as usual, lies with the fact that most people in the health/ social work profession do not understand,in any way the effects dementia has on the suffer and the carer. It is very frustrating and not at all helpful. I wonder why she thought that a carer should dress Janet? Do you have a carer to help? Sounds like you dont so not sure why she made that unhelpful comment :( It sounds like you are doing your very best under very difficult circumstances. Can the social worker offer any help for you at home ie someone to do basic housework so you can concentrate on Janet? I wonder why the solution is always a care home :(
Good that you were able to post on here to let off steam. It is a great forum for that isnt it?
I wish you well
Dee x
 

Rosie Webros

Registered User
May 8, 2013
181
Oh David, I am with you 100%. Don't get me started on social workers. I am sure there are some really good social workers out there (my mother-in-law was one of them before she retired.) Ours was not one of them!

My dad has Alzheimer's and about four months ago had to go from hospital straight into a home. It was a hard enough decision to make anyway, but we had no help at all from our part-time social worker. She was never there, I never even saw her. She recommended one home! And that one was full! If I phoned her, it was always her day off. In the end I gave up and my sister and myself did it all ourselves. Then when we finally found a lovely home (it took us 9 weeks), she phoned and said that she had heard 'through the grapevine' that we had found dad an expensive home.

You sound as if you are doing a great job. I think a lot of social workers do not get the practical experience that they so need to be a good social worker. Added to that the problems associated with dementia and a lot of them are way out of their depth.

I am so sorry if this upsets anyone, and I am sure like I say there are really good ones out there, but I am only speaking from experience.

Keep up the good work David. You know your partner better than anyone.

Take care and all the best. Rosie xx
 

Carabosse

Registered User
Jan 10, 2013
1,695
OMG your post sounds just like the problems I have with mums SW, I look after mum 24/7 except when she goes to daycare. The SW (although it has stopped for now) always said when we met 'we think your mum needs to be in a home', like you 'over my dead body'.
The trust I had has gone when I found out the person was lying to me, so now they are on a need to know basis.
 

steffie60

Registered User
Jan 22, 2013
232
Hampshire
The only contact from Social Workers in this area was to be told my mother and I did not need them. So basically I am not very impressed with the support that I thought they were supposed to give. I know they are a hard pressed service however compassion seems to be missing from the training in this profession.

All support and respect to you for your continued care and compassion.
 

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