my OH has been offered a residential place at the care home he goes to Day care. The SS are coming on Wednesday to go through the financial side of it and they had put in a request for the first available room at the care home for him. The manager spoke to me yesterday to say a room had come available and did we want it. Someone else is looking at it on Monday . He is being given first choice. But I need to tell them Monday. It could be months before another suitable room comes up as he needs to be downstairs as he wanders all night. I expected to have to wait weeks not days and have time to get used to the idea. So I am completely in a spin. His daughter is saying I must take it for the sake of my health, I have had lots of meltdowns recently and the nurse at the support group was saying it was something I should consider when a room was available. He went there for respite a few weeks ago and settled ok and funnily enough the room available is the same room he had then. I’m told to think of it as just doing it the other way round. They have the difficult nights and the cleaning up and I can just collect him and take him out when ever I want and enjoy the good bits. It all sounds so sensible but I just cry when I think of it . I feel I am giving up on him if I do this, just parcelling him off and discarding him. Last night he was as good as gold, no yelling matches, no poo placed in unfortunate places and smeared over surfaces (although he had already done that at the care home in the afternoon ) and he was only up twice in the night and slept till 4.30. So I’m now sitting here thinking I should try to keep him home longer. Please give me your thoughts. Sorry to be so long winded.